This was nice to read
Yea this made me feel better.
I needed to read this ..
I turn 35 in less than two weeks and have spent most of the past year feeling like I’ve failed life because I’m not where I thought I should be…but then again, I’ve had no clear idea where I wanted to go, either.
It’s nice to hear this and to be reminded that we’re all really only playing life by ear, after all. It’s both a little scary and a bit freeing to realize there’s no official template for Adulthood that you have to conform to.
Tag: important
hey writers
friendly reminder that you are allowed to write selfishly. Your writing is allowed to be self-indulgent. You can have self-insert characters. Your stories can be pure wish-fulfillment.
Sometimes we get so caught up in wanting to please the theoretical reader that we forget our writing is first and foremost for us. It’s our art, our self-expression, and we do it for our passion and our joy.
Use other voices and perspectives to grow your own perspective and bring more to your writing. But you don’t owe it to anyone to create art for them, the way they want it.
Your writing can be a love letter to yourself.
If you are not willing to look stupid, nothing great will ever happen to you.
Unknown (via kvtes)
I hate this. Things like this scare the shit out of me.
Yes a parent should be protective. No they should not STALK their child.
Yes a parent can get upset at a child. No they should not flip out or let their anger make them out of control, or take out their anger on their child.
Yes a parent can lecture and maybe the kid feels like their parent is driving them crazy – but after the last two statements forgive me if I don’t exactly trust these definitions.
A parent should never be their child’s worst nightmare. A pain sometimes, ok, but not a nightmare.
And the idea of a parent “stalking” and “hunting down” their child is horrifying. If you were a good parent, maybe your child would have communicated whereabouts upfront with you already.
And the last statement is the worst. “I will subject you to terror and treat you like my property…. Because I love you!” No one would ever put up with this from a partner, a friend, even a grandparent…. Why is it suddenly okay from a parent?Fuck toxic parenting.
That graphic is basically acting like emotional and psychological abuse is okay as long as it’s framed as “it’s because I love you.” Which is basically part of the abuse cycle.
parents can easily be some of the most frightening kinds of human beings alive and some of them take the deepest pride in being their kids’ worst nightmare…
The ninth level of hell with Dr. Laura.
I can’t believe it literally says that parents can’t be friends with their kids.That’s literally the most important thing for a healthy relationship.
“Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?”
Earlier today, I served as the “young woman’s voice” in a panel of local experts at a Girl Scouts speaking event. One question for the panel was something to the effect of, “Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?”
I was surprised when the first panelist answered the question as if it were about cyberbullying. The adult audience nodded sagely as she spoke about the importance of protecting children online.
I reached for the microphone next. I said, “As far as reading your child’s texts or logging into their social media profiles, I would say 99.9% of the time, do not do that.”
Looks of total shock answered me. I actually saw heads jerk back in surprise. Even some of my fellow panelists blinked.
Everyone stared as I explained that going behind a child’s back in such a way severs the bond of trust with the parent. When I said, “This is the most effective way to ensure that your child never tells you anything,” it was like I’d delivered a revelation.
It’s easy to talk about the disconnect between the old and the young, but I don’t think I’d ever been so slapped in the face by the reality of it. It was clear that for most of the parents I spoke to, the idea of such actions as a violation had never occurred to them at all.
It alarms me how quickly adults forget that children are people.
Apparently people are rediscovering this post somehow and I think that’s pretty cool! Having experienced similar violations of trust in my youth, this is an important issue to me, so I want to add my personal story:
Around age 13, I tried to express to my mother that I thought I might have clinical depression, and she snapped at me “not to joke about things like that.” I stopped telling my mother when I felt depressed.
Around age 15, I caught my mother reading my diary. She confessed that any time she saw me write in my diary, she would sneak into my room and read it, because I only wrote when I was upset. I stopped keeping a diary.
Around age 18, I had an emotional breakdown while on vacation because I didn’t want to go to college. I ended up seeing a therapist for – surprise surprise – depression.
Around age 21, I spoke on this panel with my mother in the audience, and afterwards I mentioned the diary incident to her with respect to this particular Q&A. Her eyes welled up, and she said, “You know I read those because I was worried you were depressed and going to hurt yourself, right?”
TL;DR: When you invade your child’s privacy, you communicate three things:
- You do not respect their rights as an individual.
- You do not trust them to navigate problems or seek help on their own.
- You probably haven’t been listening to them.
Information about almost every issue that you think you have to snoop for can probably be obtained by communicating with and listening to your child.
Part of me is really excited to see that the original post got 200 notes because holy crap 200 notes, and part of me is really saddened that something so negative has resonated with so many people.
Here’s my annual year-in-review comic! Happy New Years, folks!
A hearty FUCK YEAH to all of this!
Reblogging this to the main blog because this is REALLY IMPORTANT!!!
Nobody writes and revises in a vacuum. … The only way to grow as a writer is 1) keep writing more books and 2) get feedback from other writers.
Kara Taylor, author of the PREP SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL series, on how to grow as a writer. Hear the full interview here! (via firstdraftwithsarahenni)
How to praise writers and influence fics
I’ve seen a lot of posts recently reminding readers to leave feedback on fics, which is great!! Writers deserve all the love they can get. Likes, reblogs, comments, messages, these are the lifeblood of writers. They are proof that people are reading, that they’re enjoying, and that they want more.
But maybe readers don’t know what to say. Maybe you’re new to Tumblr, new to reading fan fiction, shy, or just not sure how to say what you want to say.
Let me start by saying, no matter how popular the blog or how cool you think they are, everyone loves a compliment. If you’re worried about sounding silly or bothering people, let me assure you- a message will make your writer do a happy dance (depending on the writer, they may actually get up and dance. I have.)
Here’s the basic ways of communicating with writers on Tumblr:
Likes and kudos- these are great, they’re the high-fives in this world. They’re the “hey, nice” nod.
Reblogs- even better, because they mean exposure. More people see the story and that makes us really happy. A reblog with a comment is amazing, especially one that entices others to read. These make a writer’s day.
Comments and messages- these are the thing that keeps us going. Most of us have anon turned on- and if we don’t, just let us know you want a private reply. (And, if your writer has anon off, it probably means they’ve been getting hate and deserve extra love.)
Recommendations- recs are like coming in to work to find someone baked your favorite cake and left it on your desk. Recommendations make your writer feel so loved and valued!So, that’s all good, but what do you actually SAY to writers? It doesn’t have to be much or take a lot of time.
A simple “This is great/funny/hot!” is wonderful. "Best fic I’ve read this week!“ "Funny as hell and cute too.” "You have to read this, it’s awesome!“ "I can’t wait for more of this.” "I hope you keep going!“ These are great in reblogs and in messages.
Even better is specific feedback. We love specific feedback, because it tells us what readers liked and what they didn’t. Want to influence our next fic? Tell us what you liked about this one and I bet you it will keep showing up! Specific feedback is just telling the writer what you liked. It doesn’t have to be long or complicated, either. (But if you write a lot, we will love you so much.)
Was there a character you liked? Talk about them: "I love how you wrote X” “Y was so funny!” "OMG I wanted to STRANGLE Q!“ "You can really feel X’s frustration.” "Y has so much depth, they’re a really well-rounded character.“ "R says so much with so few words, it’s amazing.”
What about a part or line you enjoyed? "That bit in the park- LOVE IT.“ "I have never read a better description of a cup of tea.” "The way you wrote about his fear, that was heartbreaking.“
Was there a part that made you feel something? Happy, sad, angry? "That last sentence killed me, he’s so broken.” "I wanted to jump around when they finally kissed!“ "This chapter was so tense, my heart was pounding by the end.”
Did the characters or plot or setting remind you of your life? "I live in Brussels, that’s just how that street looks.“ "When Y talked about R, I knew exactly how he felt.” "You captured that lost, aimless feeling perfectly; I’ve so been there.“
Are there unanswered questions? Mention how much you want the answers. "I can’t wait to find out what’s in the basket!” "That was a cliffhanger ending, wow.“ "How is she going to explain THAT?” (some writers are touchy about predicting, though, so stay away from “I bet he’ll throw that letter out.” or “X is clearly coming back.”)
A few closing notes: be enthusiastic if that’s your style, go crazy with exclamation marks, smileys, caps! Tell a writer if you’re rereading their work- very little makes us happier than knowing our writing has the staying power for a second, third, sixth, tenth read. Did a reread give you a new insight or feeling about the fic? Tell us! We will be so excited to hear. And remember, recommendations are wonderful- putting up a random post tagging your favorite writers or fics you’re enjoying will show the writers that they’re writing is more than a flash in the opan and they’ll get some new readers too!
We can’t do this writing thing without you guys. So thank you so much! Without readers, we’re just talking to ourselves. We love and appreciate you for reading- but we need to know you’re doing it. We need feedback like we need air. Don’t let your favorite writers suffocate! 🙂
One reason that people have artist’s block is that they do not respect the law of dormancy in nature. Trees don’t produce fruit all year long, constantly. They have a point where they go dormant. And when you are in a dormant period creatively, if you can arrange your life to do the technical tasks that don’t take creativity, you are essentially preparing for the spring when it will all blossom again.
Marshall Vandruff, one of the best teachers I have ever had, on artist’s block. Said during a webinar done on Visualarium to advertise his upcoming online course on animal anatomy (source links to webinar) (via pale-afternoon)
THIS QUOTE HELPS SO MUCH OMG
(via saathi1013)
This is actually really important to know – like, the number of times I mentally beat myself up for not producing 2000 words a day like “good” writer friends (remembering also that said writer friends don’t also have normal jobs that take portions of their time and creative energy) when actually it’s totally normal and fine not to be in a constant state of massive creative output. You just have to trust that even if the ideas aren’t flowing right this very second doesn’t mean they won’t start flowing again soon.
(via llywela13)
OK Tumblr,
i see a lot of reblogs for Bernie here but we have to make sure we’re taking actions to ensure he has a fighting chance in this arena. His opponents have the money and the media circus backing them but he has us, so let’s run it!
The primaries are elections held months before the ACTUAL presidential election that basically decide who the main candidates for each party will be, specifically, who will be listed on the ballot in the election in november. if we want Bernie to stand a chance at all he MUST be on the ballot in November. For that to become a reality we need everyone reading this to get them and their friends to vote in the Primaries! I’ve used the site www.voteforbernie.com to list the following info below so you can all see it easily enough and share it with just a click. Check your state below for the appropriate information on when and how to vote in the primaries!
Below are the registration and voting dates for all 50 states, Puerto Rico and Washington DC (as a separate voting date). Be sure to register! Click your state to find out how! Below is a key to reading the following information!
Some states have open registration meaning it doesn’t matter which party you’re registered as, you can still vote for Bernie.
*** Some states are CLOSED meaning you MUST be registered as DEMOCRAT by the date’s i’ve listed to vote for Bernie.
*~* Some states are SEMI-CLOSED meaning you must be registed as DEMOCRAT or UNDECLARED to vote for Bernie.
# means you can register or switch parties the day of voting at the voting station.
NEW YORK!!! you have less than 30 days to register even tho your primaries aren’t until April. PLEASE GO REGISTER AND TELL EVERYONE ELSE!
Alabama – Tuesday, March 1st (register by February 19th)
Alaska – Saturday, March 26th *** # (register by January 19th)
Arizona – Tuesday, March 22nd *** (register by February 22nd)
Arkansas – Tuesday, March 1st
(register by January 31st)
California – Tuesday, June 7th *~* (register by May 23rd)
Colorado – Tuesday, March 1st *** (register by January 1st)
Connecticut – April, 26th *** (register by January 26th)
Delaware – Tuesday, April 26th *** (register by April 2nd
Washington, DC – Tuesday, June 14th*** (register by May 15th)
Florida – Tuesday, March 15th *** (register by February 16th)
Georgia – Tuesday, March 1st (February 1st)
Hawaii – Saturday, March 26th *~* #(register by February 25th)
Idaho – TBD (check the site early next year!)*~*
Illinois – Tuesday, March 15th *~* #(register by February 16th)
Indiana – Tuesday, May 3rd(register by April 4th)
Iowa – Monday, February 1st *~* # (can register day of!)
Kansas – Saturday, March 5th *** (register by March 5th)
Kentucky – Tuesday, May 17th *** (register by April 18th)
Louisiana – Saturday, March 5th *** (register by February 4th)
Maine – Sunday, March 6th *** (register by February 14th)
Maryland – Tuesday, April 26th *** (register by April 5th)
Massachusetts – Tuesday, March 1st *~* (register by February 10th)
Michigan – Tuesday, March 8th(register by February 7th)
Minnesota – Tuesday, March 1st (register by February 9th)
Mississippi – Tuesday, March 8th(register by February 7th)
Missouri – Tuesday, March 15th(register by February 17th)
Montana – Tuesday, June 7th(register by May 8th)
Nebraska – Saturday, March 5th *** (register by February 19th)
Nevada – Saturday, February 20th *** (register by January 20th)
New Hampshire – Tuesday, February 9th *~* #(register by January 30th)
New Jersey – Tuesday, June 7th *** #
(register by May 17th)
New Mexico – Tuesday, June 7th *** (register by May 10th)
New York – Tuesday, April 19th *** (register by October 9th 2015)
North Carolina – Tuesday, March 1st *~* (register by February 5th)
North Dakota TBD (check the site early next year!)
Ohio – Tuesday, March 15th *~* (register by February 14th)
Oklahoma – Tuesday, March 1st *~* (register by February 5th)
Oregon – Tuesday, May 17th *~* (register by April 26th)
Pennsylvania – Tuesday, April 26th *** (register by March 27th)
Puerto Rico – Sunday, June 5th (register date TBD)
Rhode Island – Tuesday, April 26th *~* (register by March 27th)
South Carolina – Saturday, February 27th(register by January 28th)
South Dakota – Tuesday, June 7th *~* (register by May 23rd)
Tennessee – Tuesday, March 1st
(register by January 31st)
Texas – Tuesday, March 1st
(register by January 31st)
Utah – Tuesday, March 22nd *~* (register by February 21st)
Vermont – Tuesday, March 1st(register by February 24th)
Virginia – Tuesday, March 1st (register by February 8th)
Washington – Saturday, March 26th(register by July 6th)
West Virginia – Tuesday, May 10th*~* (register by April 19th)
Wisconsin – Tuesday, April 5th(register by March 16th)
Wyoming – Saturday, April 9th*** (register by March 26)REMINDER: About half of the states allow 17 year olds to vote in the primaries if they will be 18 years of age by the actual election. Check if your state let’s you do this and you can help if it is a state that allows this!