In case you didn’t know, I’m an ENFP. This means that I spend a great deal of time worrying about if I’m good enough or doing a good job or worth anyone’s time and being too scared to talk to people for fear of bothering them especially with something as selfish as asking if they think I’m okay.
…which is a problem because we are so outwardly focused that we really can’t tell if we’re okay.
:I
someone hug me plz
Time for hugz.
i like to think of it as having this blind spot that our confidence leaks out of without someone to give us feedback and let us know we’re on target. unfortunately, it’s no one’s job to do that.
definitely no one’s job in my lab/work.
definitely no friend’s job in terms of just doing okay as a human being/romantic partner.
and i have a lot of very very supportive friends. it doesn’t matter how many or how often I see them. It’s still a problem as soon as the feedback disappears. No one to blame for that. Definitely not them. We ENFPs just have to surround ourselves with other kinds of tangible proof of our progress/well-being and think things through when we’re not all together sure how to feel.
remember though, it’s always worth it for us to fill in that gap without needing constant reassurance, to find the resources that give us lasting trust in ourselves. there are some personality types that are capable of excelling in nearly any field they care about. we’re one of them. we’re dynamic and full of possibilities. those same natural tendencies are the ones that put paranoia and worry into us. if we take the paranoia out of the equation, we make room to move forward.
and always remember, we constantly underestimate our self-worth. we just do. we measure ourselves against the infinite worlds of possibilities we build in our heads so when we don’t meet the great potential of those things or even if we do but we aren’t recognized for it, we feel dejected. we’re worth so much more than we think. to all you ENFPs out there, find the proof of the love and assurance you need and don’t let go. hold onto the real stuff. the stuff that makes you cry from joy that you’re doing okay. because more than you think… you are. you already are.
and for all things good and holy in this world, surround yourself with people you can actually trust. anything less while you’re building that confidence will tear you apart. you’re an ENFP. you’re probably naturally good at gauging human motivations. you’ll know when you’ve found the right people.
i know i have.
Yes, perfect. Thank you. <3 <3 <3
That confidence leak is so true. I, too, have lots of really amazing supportive friends… but the moment I’m alone… the good feelings just start to disappear.
Thanks for the great tips and advice! I will do my best to follow. 🙂