They will grow up completely untrusting with a general sense of sadness and guilt.
Manipulation includes:
– “I just wish [something passive aggressive involving your child]”
– “You do whatever you want to do.” and then getting mad when they make the “wrong” choice
– Not believing them when they tell you something someone did or said to them, including their friends, your friends, family members, or even you
– Doing something shitty and then pretending you didn’t in hopes they’ll forget?
– Getting upset when they open up to you. About anything. Even if it’s something angering or disappointing. Don’t show them it’s dangerous or counterproductive to talk to you.
– Making them feel bad for the friends/significant others they choose, career path (or lack thereof), school choice (or lack thereof), gender/sexuality (or lack thereof) literally anything that either they didn’t choose or that they would be miserable without
– Do NOT EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES pressure them to talk to you about personal things.
– Kids do not owe their parents anything. They did not choose to be born. You chose to get pregnant/chose to carry to term/chose to raise a baby (even if you didn’t choose all of these things, you at least chose one) under the assumption that you would love this child no matter what.
this post means so much to me.