Hello there!

Gosh. Get ready for a wall of text. :’)

Writing has been an extremely cathartic outlet for me over the years. Every character that I write (especially the protagonists) have a piece of me in them– usually fears, challenges, similar experiences, etc –and working through their arcs helps me to work through them, too. I strongly empathize with characters, so it not only feels like I’m also getting through stuff, but I’m with a beloved character for the journey. That’s part of why I write in the first place… not just for me, but for the readers, too. We’re all going through things, and we don’t have to do it alone.

The research needed to write certain situations/issues, and that degree of separation (searching for a character, not myself) makes it easier to process and accept, too.

It’s a safe way to explore and learn, and find others in the same position.

But here are a handful of examples to provide a more concrete answer to your question:

When our house was broken into several years ago, I was able to stay calm and get help because of the research/writing I’d done for detective characters. I did nothing reckless and I knew what information they would be requesting, which helped to hold off the oncoming panic attack.

Speaking of panic attacks, MANY of the characters I write suffer through them, and while it’s very difficult and painful to write these, going through them myself is a lot easier now because I have it in the back of my head to memorize what’s happening for writing later… It’s that degree of separation. LOL. I also know more/better coping methods to handle them, too, and what not to do. In NLA, we have Viktor go through it a couple of times, and it was physically PAINFUL to write. But I always felt better coming out the other side, and it seems the readers felt seen, too.

I won’t get started on the writings of bad ex boyfriends, but THAT was very cathartic, too. 🙂

Writing also helps me to examine my biases. I grew up in a VERY!!!! conservative culture, where so much was condemned as hell-burning sin. I still struggle with the guilt of that for my own “shortcomings” and may always feel that way. But getting to know characters (original and fanfic-wise) from different walks of life, researching their backgrounds, etc… has really made me a more rounded, accepting person, and I’m so grateful for that. There’s SO MUCH I need to learn about the world.

Embarrassingly, there was a time when polyamory was legitimately triggering for me because of how I was raised. Any mention of a threesome, ot3, throuple, etc. would have me running the other way. Safely exploring fiction with folks I trust has given me better perspective, both for the acceptance of polyamory (yay!) and separating it from the harmful abuse of my upbringing (ie, being told that I would be required to share my spouse in the afterlife because God said so and that if I wasn’t okay with that, I had a lack of faith, etc)… since they’re not at all the same thing.

I’ll leave it at that, but if there’s anything specific you’d like to know, please feel free to send another ask!

Thanks!