AND NOW… because tumblr is basically my journal now… a health update!!!

Okay, so emotionally, I more or less feel awesome these days. Life is still hard as hell, but I am still in love with my job, treading water, and getting/accepting help from loving friends and family who have chipped in to bridge the gaps between paychecks. The anxiety is significantly lower, the night terrors and nightmares have more or less stopped, and while I still need to be careful with making sure my blood sugar doesn’t get too low / being aware of hormonal cycles (more on these later), I am doing pretty well. Thank you, zoloft! I’m even SLEEPING AT NIGHT (mostly) without any sleep aids, which is crazy-amazing. 

I’m sure that the thyroid (synthroid + a cytomel T3 supporter) has really helped, too. The doctor says I’m a little hyperthyroid right now, so I need to tweak it still, but the back pain (sciatica!!12) has vanished. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I still walk walk slower than a turtle, but I can actually do it instead of getting a couple of steps and having my entire back seize up in throbbing pain, making my legs totally stiff and unable to move. This is awesome.

The birth control has done its job – mostly. This is TMI, but after 4 months of no period, I finally got one… and it’s been going now for 4 weeks. Fortunately, only one of them was heavy, but it’s never-ending. And my left ovary still hurts like crazy, especially right now. But this is the one that had a ruptured cyst back in high school, and it has been extremely sensitive ever since. Ow. I just sort of grimace and try not to move more than I have to.

…I’m also waking up in the middle of the night, every night, drenched in sweat. This could be due to the thyroid meds, the BC/hormone stuff, or the anti-depressant. Who knows. But it’s annoying and gross. I’ll mention it to my doctor later but I don’t think he’ll be able to do anything about it.

Now, on the subject of blood sugar, I don’t think I mentioned it before, but I stopped taking glucophage/metformin 2 months ago because I ran out and I hate it. Plus, when I’d take it with lunch, I’d pass out within an hour, which every doctor I’ve talked to says makes no sense at all. BUT… since my blood sugar/cholesterol/etc levels have stayed consistently great/low, they said that I don’t have to take them anymore, since my diet clearly isn’t the problem, and they can treat PCOS much more effectively with BC. 

So I don’t have to take metformin anymore and that’s amazing. It is the worst. Seriously. But I do have to make sure that I eat or bad things happen… which is weird because I was supposedly pre-type 2 diabetic, but when I test, even after eating, it’s almost always low. Whatevs. I’m forcing myself to eat breakfast, and I’m trying to keep proteiny snacks at my desk at work… almonds, jerky, cheese sticks… I think it’s good. 

UHM… I’m making sure to hit my 5,000 steps a day, thanks to my fitbit. I hit it almost every day by default because it’s an 8 minute walk to the train station, then 5 to work, and back again. Today at lunch, I just walked around for like an hour, too. It was great now that it’s not so hot out. 

And speaking of walking, my poor legs… I spent the last 2 weeks coming home from work (desk job) and keeping my feet up, and they started calming down a bit. But lymphedema is chronic… and the last 2 days I’ve been at my desk at home and they’re already hurting and getting worse again. I seriously don’t want to have to live on the couch, and standing/exercising seems to make it worse. But until I can buy those farrow wraps ($500-$1,000), I guess couch therapy is all I’ve got to keep it under control. T_T; 

On that note, though, since I went to urgent care back in August, I’ve lost 20 pounds. That’s great! But I still have a very, very long way to go… Clearly, going by those photos I posted, I’ve always been a heavy person. All the curves. It’s genetic. But after the cancer stuff it got way, way worse… thyroid, lymphedema, etc… all messes up everything. But I’mma figure it out. 

There’s something called total decongestive therapy that is supposed to help with broken lymphatic systems, but I need to find a clinic that I can get to, accepts my insurance (the hospital close to me doesn’t), and that I can afford… the treatment is pretty intensive for the first while. The clinic I talked to seems to think that the one at the U will take my insurance, but I’m kind of reluctant to look into it because I suspect it’s in the cancer center where my dad died and I am so not crazy about the idea of ever going into that building ever again.

…

Regardless. IT’S GOAL TIME. I have made a goal to lose 25 lbs by the end of the year. I think I can do it. Keep getting my steps, keep forcing myself to go to bed at midnight every night (YES EVEN WEEKENDS… I’ve done it for 2 weeks now and it’s SO HARD), keep making myself eat, keep up with all of my meds, and only weigh myself once a week! P SURE IT WILL WORK. 

And if I can ever get those wraps, I am SO going to start hitting the gym again. I miss the elliptical so much. It was so relaxing, and there’s a work out room both at the apartment complex AND at work. 

So there you have it. I think that’s pretty much… all I had to say on the subject for now. Not sure when my next doctor appointment will be, but things are definitely improving. 

HELLA.