Hi there! I would love to! I think I’ll start out with an example with filter words and then cut out the filter words to show you the difference.
For those of you who haven’t seen my post on Filter Words.
Now, for the example:
I felt a hand tap my shoulder as I realized I had made a huge mistake. I knew the consequences would be unsettling, but I had no other choice. I saw the light of my desk lamp bounce off of the officer’s badge before I had even turned around. It seemed like I always found my way into trouble.
It was the first thing off the top of my head, so it’s a bit rough sounding….
Now for without filter words (And a bit of revision):
A hand tapped my shoulder as it dawned on me: I had just made a huge mistake. The consequences would be unsettling if I didn’t get out of this mess, but I had no other choice. The light of my desk lamp bounced off of the officer’s badge. I always found my way into trouble.
By taking out filter words, you get right to the point.
I’d also like to add a few more notes that I didn’t have the chance to post previously.
Some Examples of Filtering:
I heard a noise in the hallway.
She felt embarrassed when she tripped.
I saw a light bouncing through the trees.
I tasted the sour tang of raspberries bursting on my tongue.
He smelled his teammate’s BO wafting through the locker room.
She remembered dancing at his wedding.
I think people should be kinder to one another.
How can you apply this?
Read your work to see how many of these filtering words you might be leaning on. Microsoft Word has a great Find and Highlight feature that I love to use when I’m editing. See how you can get rid of these filtering words and take your sentences to the next level by making stronger word choices. Take the above examples, and see how they can be reworked.
FILTERING EXAMPLE: I heard a noise in the hallway.
DESCRIBE THE SOUND: Heels tapped a staccato rhythm in the hallway.
FILTERING EXAMPLE: She felt embarrassed after she tripped.
DESCRIBE WHAT THE FEELING LOOKS LIKE: Her cheeks flushed and her shoulders hunched after she tripped.
FILTERING EXAMPLE: I saw a light bouncing through the trees.
DESCRIBE THE SIGHT: A light bounced through the trees.
FILTERING EXAMPLE: I tasted the sour tang of raspberries bursting on my tongue.
DESCRIBE THE TASTE: The sour tang of raspberries burst on my tongue.
FILTERING EXAMPLE: He smelled his teammate’s BO wafting through the locker room.
DESCRIBE THE SMELL: His teammate’s BO wafted through the locker room.
FILTERING EXAMPLE: She remembered dancing at his wedding.
DESCRIBE THE MEMORY: She had danced at his wedding.
FILTERING EXAMPLE: I think people should be kinder to one another.
DESCRIBE THE THOUGHT: People should be kinder to one another.
See what a difference it makes when you get rid of the filter? It’s simply not necessary to use them. By ditching them, you avoid “telling,” your voice is more active, and your pacing is helped along.
The above list is not comprehensive as there are many examples of filtering words. The idea is to be aware of the concept so that you can recognize instances of it happening in your work. Be aware of where you want to place the energy and power in your sentences. Let your observations flow through your characters with immediacy.
Ok, sorry for the lengthy answer, I know you just wanted an example…. sorry!
If you have any questions, feel free to ask at my ask box
THIS IS SO GREAT. I dind’t even know there was a term for this (I should have figured, right, because writers have words for everything), but it’s one of those things that being aware when you’re doing it (and editing it right the fuck out) will improve your writing SO MUCH. Removing the filtering helps to draw your readers more intimately into the action of your story, and as the text above says, adds power and immediacy to every sentence. THIS IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT TIP I WANT TO SCREAM ABOUT IT.
A lot of illustrators suffer from the “grass is always greener” syndrome. We spend more time appreciating the work of others, and less time appreciating our own work. This is a common issue among most creatives. Why even bother writing a story or painting a picture when I can think of dozens of people who would do it better? My answer to that is simple, and something I only recently (and finally) accepted with my own work: just like our handwriting, no one can create exactly like we can. Our inherent individuality—coupled with years of training and growth—is what buoys our creative lives.
A lot of illustrators suffer from the “grass is always greener” syndrome. We spend more time appreciating the work of others, and less time appreciating our own work. This is a common issue among most creatives. Why even bother writing a story or painting a picture when I can think of dozens of people who would do it better? My answer to that is simple, and something I only recently (and finally) accepted with my own work: just like our handwriting, no one can create exactly like we can. Our inherent individuality—coupled with years of training and growth—is what buoys our creative lives.
OK HANDS ARE ALSO THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE. I only recently sorta learned how to draw them (still not great and I still make a ton of mistakes) but there are a few things I’ve learned over the years.
TIP 1: I stare at my own hand a lot to get a sense of how it moves, how it looks, etc. I suggest you do this. Contort your hand, move your fingers, pay attention to the contours and silhouettes your hand makes. One of the important things I learned is that if you don’t have a sense of how a hand should look, it’ll be hard for you. People make it easy with the tutorials they make like oh “draw a square palm, then do the skeletal fingers, then fill it in and voila!” Nope, that’s not enough, because I’ve followed those exact tutorials and was like um…this still looks nothing like a hand what the hell??? Soooo definitely, get a sense of how a hand works and moves first!
TIP 2: Fingers have VOLUME. This was a HUGE breakthrough for me when I discovered this. Yeah, I know it sounds obvious but it’s a surprisingly often overlooked fact. They’re not pointy sticks, they are fleshy tubes? Well anyway, I use the FINGERNAILS to represent volume. When I draw a finger, I first draw the top ridge (indicating three segments), the fingernail, THEN the rest of the finger. Idk, it’s a weird thing I came up with.
TIP 3: Know the relative relationship the fingers have with each other and how they move together. This is similar to TIP 1, but I felt it needed to be on it’s own as well. Not knowing how a finger curls, how it moves in relation to the others, will make for awkward hands (unless that’s the aesthetic you’re looking for)
My biggest struggle is making the size of the hand proportional haha (I always make fun of yaoi hands but it’s a genuine struggle??? Like I understand where the artists are coming from, it is so difficult NOT to make the hands too big or too small.) Thank god for the transform tool lmaoooo
I’ll also do some notes on perspective and dynamic posing later. (We’ll see how dynamic posing goes considering I’m not too great at it myself so… yeahhhh.)
