you have an interview next week. you always have an interview next week. The managers who interview you all seem to share the same pleasant, blank face. They promise to call you back in a few days. They never do.
they say the minimum wage is going up soon.
you must have two years of experience. you must have five years of experience. you must have ten years of experience. experience in what, exactly? the job requirements bleed into an ancient latin text as you attempt to decipher them.
the people in the photos in the craigslist ads smile eerily at you. their eyes seem to follow you around the room even after you click away from the job posting.
do not apply in person, the posting says. do not send in your resume. do not apply. we’ve lost too many employees to the creature as is.
you plan on leaving your job soon. you’ve been planning on leaving your job soon for months. you keep making excuses as to why you haven’t left your job yet, but you know deep down that even if you put in your two weeks tomorrow, you wouldn’t leave the company as the same person you were when you applied. if they let you leave alive at all.
you seem to see “help wanted” signs everywhere. when you enter and inquire about them, the employees wave you away. you hear their cries for help again as you leave.
you are more than qualified for the job that you are applying to. you are over-qualified for the job you are applying to.
Layering technique for vibrant greens, using Dr Ph. Martin’s Hydrus liquid watercolours. 3 colours used – Turquoise Blue, Hansa Yellow Medium and Blue Aqua 🙂
If you are a Nineties kid with a tender spot in your heart for the good
old days when boy bands would wear matching clothes and have a dance
routine, this is the one for you. Backstreet’s BACK with a zombie movie
called Dead 7, written, directed and starring Nick Carter (because LOL
why not). Doesn’t sound fun enough? N’ SYNC WILL BE IN IT AS WELL. This
is like the American, zombie version of McBusted. Our bodies are ready.
They are original. They are the only ones. They are
sexual (yeeeeeah), so it stands to reason that the Backstreet Boys and
N’ Sync boy band zombie extravaganza Dead 7 is going to be the greatest
movie of modern times. It is foolproof.
“90′s Boy Bands Make Zombie Western”
WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!?!
WHO ALLOWED THIS FANFICTION FROM 1999 TO BE A REALITY?
I bet you these dogs used to bark like crazy whenever someone approached the door. Training an animal to stop doing something is way harder than training an animal to start doing something most of the time. So, solution, train the dogs to start doing something like, say, picking up a pillow whenever someone approaches the door, and as a side effect, they don’t bark at the person because (a) they’re distracted searching for the pillow and (b) it’s kind of hard to bark when you’ve got a pillow in your mouth.
that’s seriously brilliant
My parents’ dog has a whole crate of stuffed toys, and he picks one for every visitor. The beagle toy is the default, but he will often dig through the box trying to find the right toy. He often brings me the crocodile which I bought for him, or a large frog. He also has four pigs, and those are for special friends. Only family members are greeted with the biggest toy he has, the Great Pig of Honour.
