Month: March 2023

💫📡🤲

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

I’ll be honest, I love the gushing, ooey-gooey comments where people are keyboard smashing their feelings out, ESPECIALLY if they manage to be coherent long enough to point out a specific thing that they enjoyed. Knowing that my attempts at making people feel actually succeeds is so very, very validating. 🙂

📡why is writing and sharing your writing important for fandom?

So fandom is an interesting creature… It lives, it breathes, and evolves over time depending on what it eats– both canonical content and that from the fans. The stuff that we put into it is going to be different than what future or past fans put in, because it’s like a time capsule of perspective and understanding. Everyone has a unique voice, and bringing that to the table with our different backgrounds means more diverse transformative works. It keeps it alive and healthy, and then we all learn and grow! Art must be created and observed to thrive.

🤲what do YOU get out of writing?

I’m always going to be creating characters/stories/scenarios/etc… that is never going to change. But writing lets me more effectively share that with others, and I LOVE that connection. It also feels very productive and helps me sharpen my skills for other things, like my original novels. I love the exercise!

🤍

I answered that one here, so I’ll move on to the next one which is…

🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn’t think it would take you?

Hard on me emotionally? NLA and Vitya Diaries, definitely. Both of them I cried and cried during many scenes.

Hard as in difficult, though… The Better to Love You With was EXTREMELY hard for me to do, even though I had it all plotted out well in advance, because I decided to write Yuuri’s PoV for some reason and also I was a guest for the zine, so I was like OH NO PRESSURE. I think it turned out well, though. 😂

Woahh, first of all thank you for answering so honestly and sharing a bit of your personal experiences, I am completely glad that you are now where you feel good and in a place that you can call home and your safe place 💖 Speaking of history and real world comparisons, I think that’s why we end up with some people or other, the choices we make and the struggles each of us has. I think something I love about viktuuri is the answer to “why yuuri?” or “why viktor, why with viktor and not with other people?”, and I think it’s something precious. In other scenarios, as I’ve seen in another of your stories (or even in the NLA itself), I share the thought I had; otherwise chris might have had a real chance with viktor, he was patient, protective, he really cared for him, he really loved vitya and he saw and accepted him for who he was so why yuuri? and I think that’s something that happens in the real world, Vitya wasn’t ready at the time and the only one who managed to awaken all those feelings in him and help him heal was Yuuri, because they were what the other needed and that’s beautiful. , because neither of them was perfect but as you say they complemented each other and it worked because they were compatible and because they WANTED to work for the good of the other when one of them was not perfect. Life just happened that way and that’s where it felt right, we all have flaws and virtues.As you say, no one is just bad or just good, and I believe that sometimes one can be good for someone and bad for someone, in the sense that we are experiencing different things that are sometimes not compatible with what the other person is experiencing , especially when you’re not ready to make a change or improve or work on it, and it causes “isn’t here”… things to happen in life.That’s what I love so much about NLA, that it’s so simple and at the same time so wonderful, because that’s life, it’s not always fair, not always everything is joy or sadness, and sometimes love is not always where you thought or where “it is easier” to get to, the decisions we make and how we fight our own problems and traumas are ultimately what also builds love, and the support and compatibility that someone has with you to grow together.I’m happy that that was the essence of what you wanted to show and that it’s not just “he’s bad and good by nature” or “he’s better” “he’s worse” (for example with characters like chris, as possible romantic interest of viktor, AND I love victuuri with all I mean..but amazing guy and totally worth it, of course! ). And I love that the victuuri is about that. Love in pure essence and the decisions we make.I’m very happy to be able to comment more in depth on all this that I thought and of your process as a writer and co-creator of NLA.(maybe l’ll bother mamo too with the yuuri’s part hahah )Many things like that and the panic attacks helped me a lot for personal development. Tsm for sharing thisCan’t wait for Mafia AU and send moreSee you on twitter^^🍵🍵✨🦄🦄🦄🦄👑👑🩰🩰🩰

I’m mainly “answering” this so everyone can see your response; I REALLY appreciate your feedback, and am so grateful that you’ve let us know how our writing has impacted you… It’s so gratifying to know; we worked really hard, and I’m!!! SO HAPPY!!!! that it came through!!!

Sometimes I look at the way I met my partner and my good friends, and how the circumstances of us all coming together were so precarious and crazy… It ended up being meant to be because we made it so with our own choices and experiences.

Like Viktor said in the 1st stage drama (the Chihoko affair): “It’s because of his past that Yuuri is who he is now.”

I absolutely agree with everything you said here. @mamodewberry – make sure to read the above for good fuzzy feelings. 🙂

🤍

🤍what’s one fic of yours you think people didn’t “get”?

LOL can I say NLA? I think most people got it, but we’ve gotten a few comments where I’m left scratching my head like “did you… not see the series???” because we were trying very hard to stay faithful, but okay! 😂

JK JK.

I’ll do Vitya Diaries, which has a tiny readership base compared to NLA. I’d have to guess that it’s because it’s first person (like the Princess Diaries), or because it ships Vitya with an OC (the bad boyfriend, even though Viktuuri is always end game), or… idk! But I really thought folks would want to read more about our take on young Viktor and the things he went through before finding Yuuri. Alas?!

Give yourself a Compliment about your own writing! :)c

Of course YOU would send this, my waifu… 💖

I think I’m pretty good at emotional character arcs and coming up with random side characters. Those would probably be my biggest strengths.

Dear me: when you hit your stride with voice, you hit it hard. 8)

THANK YOU!

Speaking of bad ex-boyfriends, I would love to know the process that, for example, you had in NLA to write the character of Niko, I would like to know because I always wondered the perspective that people could have with him or people like him in the real world, like vitya I think there were things that were not so simple to identify (when things are good and then are bad, but in a toxic way) if you are a young person or with little experience in love or what love is. How did you decide to give him those characteristics as a character and why, what things did you want to emphasize to make it known that Niko was not a good boyfriend and that was not love either. And what is the difference that he had with Yuuri, and how was the whole process to make that difference when you decided to include the theme of healthy relationships in the fic. I think a lot of people can identify with it and be in a relationship that they don’t realize it’s not good for them or love them like they deserve to be loved :(. And the impact it had on Viktor, for example, when he realized that with Yuuri he felt more comfortable with his body, even in the sexual way, that it meant more and he was looking for it more. The confusion that was for him not knowing that was “normal” in a relationshipI’m really curious about that process and how you decided to handle it, gosh forgive me now for the huge text.I hope I made myself understood, be patient with me english is not my first language shsjsjys💖 🍵 so I apologize if I didn’t, please let me know and THANK YOU :’)

Your question is great and I understood you perfectly! No worries at all.

I suppose Niko is where I should have started with the question, as he’s probably the best example of processing trauma/navigating through life with writing that I have.

(For those who aren’t aware, in the Yuri!!! on Ice fic Never Look Away, we give young Viktor a boyfriend named Niko– and in case it wasn’t obvious, he was NOT a good one.)

I knew early on in the outline-drafting phase of NLA that we wanted to give Viktor someone in his life that would leave a lasting, negative impact. We toyed with a few ideas, but long before the end of the series, we knew that his “first lover” was the perfect candidate. Since my job was writing Viktor, I created Niko to fill the role, and boy-howdy was there a lot in my own life to draw on.

I won’t name names or be too specific, but Niko is based on the common traits that I saw in my own ex boyfriends (and ex friends, etc), as well as those I saw in my friends’ lives. Some of them were easier to get over than others, but all had a huge impact on my life. It would have been easy to create this horrible, nasty villain and call it a day, but that wouldn’t have served justice for the story OR for Vitya, so I had to go a step deeper.

A truly believable character, even one you’re supposed to hate, is one that feels real. So I had to find reasons to love him, myself. I gave Niko the name he has because it’s one of my most favorite names. I had to recall what it was like to be a touch-starved teenager, longing for acceptance and attention, and what I might look for in a love interest. Now as an adult, I know SO much more than I did, and it’s easier to contextualize, but like you said, the inexperienced don’t have that luxury.

It was the same for me and the exes (of varying kinds). None of the relationships really started out toxic. Most of them were young, too, after all… and still trying to figure out who they were/how to navigate in their own lives. I wanted to give Niko the benefit of the doubt at first, and so did Vitya. He wasn’t always a terrible person, but it was his choices and the way he interacted with others that really cemented his being a bad guy.

That is to say, no one is all good or all bad. If I were going to write him properly, I had to understand his own motivations, hopes, desires, and dreams. That helped me to look at my exes that way, too. A lot of the fights we had boiled down to miscommunication and pride on both sides. Vitya was young and impulsive. Niko was fighting his own insecurities and feeling pressured. Did they love each other? Sure, at some point or another, but they were ultimately incompatible, and that can only last so long before something had to give.

I think that’s where we come to the other part of your ask– Niko vs Yuuri. Something I really love in NLA was we got to do a LOT of comparison/contrast between the different character dynamics and relationships, which is what the series also excels at.

Where Niko refused to give in and made Vitya lead in all things, Yuuri was all about being expected to take charge and meet in the middle. They’re both extremely stubborn, but Yuuri wanted to do the work and thinks of Viktor’s well-being, while Niko is only worried about himself and how things impacted him.

It’s like the fine line between being possessive and being protective. Niko wanted to keep Viktor like a prize; Yuuri wanted to earn his place by Viktor’s side.

Several of the scenes in the fic (both NLA and Vitya Diaries) are based on things that happened to me with the folks I based Niko off of. It has taken me a long time to get through it, and I still struggle from the past abuse, but thankfully I have good people supporting me now, and that helps. It’s a long process to come from feeling worthless and put down, to taking a stand for yourself, to then realizing you’re worthwhile, just as you are. But like we say in NLA, and I hope it comes through, love is real and patient love is healing.

I’m very grateful that I had the opportunity to not only experience that myself, but to explore it in writing for others, as well.

I hope that answers your question. Feel free to send more if needed. I’m happy to help in any way I can. 🙂

Hi senpai 🤍 in what ways has writing helped you process trauma and/or navigate through your own life?

Hello there!

Gosh. Get ready for a wall of text. :’)

Writing has been an extremely cathartic outlet for me over the years. Every character that I write (especially the protagonists) have a piece of me in them– usually fears, challenges, similar experiences, etc –and working through their arcs helps me to work through them, too. I strongly empathize with characters, so it not only feels like I’m also getting through stuff, but I’m with a beloved character for the journey. That’s part of why I write in the first place… not just for me, but for the readers, too. We’re all going through things, and we don’t have to do it alone.

The research needed to write certain situations/issues, and that degree of separation (searching for a character, not myself) makes it easier to process and accept, too.

It’s a safe way to explore and learn, and find others in the same position.

But here are a handful of examples to provide a more concrete answer to your question:

When our house was broken into several years ago, I was able to stay calm and get help because of the research/writing I’d done for detective characters. I did nothing reckless and I knew what information they would be requesting, which helped to hold off the oncoming panic attack.

Speaking of panic attacks, MANY of the characters I write suffer through them, and while it’s very difficult and painful to write these, going through them myself is a lot easier now because I have it in the back of my head to memorize what’s happening for writing later… It’s that degree of separation. LOL. I also know more/better coping methods to handle them, too, and what not to do. In NLA, we have Viktor go through it a couple of times, and it was physically PAINFUL to write. But I always felt better coming out the other side, and it seems the readers felt seen, too.

I won’t get started on the writings of bad ex boyfriends, but THAT was very cathartic, too. 🙂

Writing also helps me to examine my biases. I grew up in a VERY!!!! conservative culture, where so much was condemned as hell-burning sin. I still struggle with the guilt of that for my own “shortcomings” and may always feel that way. But getting to know characters (original and fanfic-wise) from different walks of life, researching their backgrounds, etc… has really made me a more rounded, accepting person, and I’m so grateful for that. There’s SO MUCH I need to learn about the world.

Embarrassingly, there was a time when polyamory was legitimately triggering for me because of how I was raised. Any mention of a threesome, ot3, throuple, etc. would have me running the other way. Safely exploring fiction with folks I trust has given me better perspective, both for the acceptance of polyamory (yay!) and separating it from the harmful abuse of my upbringing (ie, being told that I would be required to share my spouse in the afterlife because God said so and that if I wasn’t okay with that, I had a lack of faith, etc)… since they’re not at all the same thing.

I’ll leave it at that, but if there’s anything specific you’d like to know, please feel free to send another ask!

Thanks!

💌

Thank you!

“share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!”

In the YOI Mafia AU, I’m writing Viktuuri again. Does that count? I’m super stoked because they’re RIDICULOUSLY head over heels for each other despite only knowing one another for a few days in this AU, and I can’t??? stop them from doing what they do. Which isn’t a problem, mind; that’s what this fic is for/about. But it’s nice to come back to them, especially now that NLA has been done for a couple of years. :’)

Ask for more

hard4softthings:

Let’s Get ((REAL)) fic writer asks

✨What’s a fic you’ve posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

💘Is there any posted fic you want to rework/re-edit/re-write?

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

🦋what are you most insecure about when you post a fic?

🌻what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going?

🌿how does creating make you feel?

🍉in what ways has writing helped you process trauma and/or navigate through your own life?

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

🎉how often do you celebrate completing & posting a work? how often do you give yourself the credit/validation that you seek from others when you post? (if you don’t, you should!)

💞what’s the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

🤍what’s one fic of yours you think people didn’t “get”?

🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn’t think it would take you?

💥find your least kudos’d fic – say something wonderful about it.

🍭why did you start writing?

💎why is writing important to you?

📡why is writing and sharing your writing important for fandom?

🪄what is your post-writing/sharing aftercare? How do you take care of yourself or celebrate yourself when you’ve finished a fic?

🎙️which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of?

🤲what do YOU get out of writing?

💋when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer?

🕯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you’re not a social person/experience social anxiety?

🧿what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn’t do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn’t going how you’d like it to?

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!