magewardensurana:

jumpingjacktrash:

ohwhatashock:

vanshira:

ramblingferret:

teroknortailor:

sci-fantasy:

fiftysevenacademics:

crystalandrock:

gertrudefrankenstein:

Millennial Sisyphus keeps entering all the information from his resume into the web form, only for it to delete everything when he tries to move to the next page. He just goes back and types it all up again, over and over again, forever, and he never gets a job.

Millennial Tantalus has been promised that his unpaid internship will become a paid position as soon as the company has space for him. Every week he sees their new job posting. Every week he asks his boss if he can have a real job. The boss shrugs apologetically and says he’ll just have to make do with being paid in experience a little longer. He goes back and keeps working, over and over again, forever, and he never reaches the fruits of his labors.

Millennial Persephone can’t get a job without a degree, but because she had to take out loans to pay for college, she must spend 1/3 of her life working just to pay them off.

Millennial Cassandra’s title is Social Media Coordinator, she was hired to be the expert, but every time she tries to explain the problems in her company’s social media decisionmaking, the managers don’t listen…and end up hiring expensive PR flacks to repair the damage to their reputation when things blow up exactly as she predicted.

Millennial Medusa uses multiple shades of primer and opaque foundation to cover the scars snaking across her face, hiding the bruises, aligning the asymmetry in her broken nose and jaw. Red matte on the lips, green shimmer on the lids. Flawless liner on the first try. She’s had lots and lots of practice. She films her transformation in secret for all to see and learn, and again, men are turned to anonymous stone faces screaming in horror. “Liar!” “Witch!” “Take her swimming on the first date!” These words do not discourage her. These words are a challenge. GlamGorgonXx posts another video.

Millennial Prometheus uploads another PDF to his site. He’s lost track of the printing and edition of this textbook. He knows they just rearranged some of chapters then charge 150 dollars per copy, and the professor wrote the book himself. the ZIP fills uploads successfully, and he starts uploading the next one. He isn’t afraid of the potential lawsuit. knowledge shouldn’t held out of reach like this. 

Millennial Arachne spends every dime and every minute she can spare with her yarn. Weaving, knitting, crochet, she does them all. Everywhere she goes, she takes her yarn and hook or needles or even a small loom with her so she can keep working in her downtime. Everyone who sees her work adores her work; she can make yarn do anything but deal cards. But when she tries to sell her work – at the price of materials plus a dollar per hour of labor – everyone says “yeah, it’s great, but you charge too much, you need to bring your prices down a little” and walks off to buy the exact same thing with a trendy designer label sewn on for twice as much. The next day, they come around and ask her if she’d be willing to knit them a scarf or a baby blanket or crochet a toy dog for their child’s birthday. In exchange? “I’ll invite you to the party. You can have cake.”

The funny thing is, even tho id forgotten some of these names, as soon as I read the story I understood who it was about.

gen-x odysseus finally gets back from four consecutive tours in the gulf – they kept re-upping him even though he should’ve been sent home years ago. he discovers his son (millennial telemachus) working three jobs and his wife being harrassed by fuckboys. he flips his shit and ends up getting himself and his son in trouble with the law.

“at least mom will get your army pension,” millennial telemachus says, and father and son share a bleak laugh.

@orsino

No joke, these had me in tears. :’(