A kid and his robot. I keep changing his name…
Month: February 2016
Dog!
A Nellie for my scroogebook!
#01
- I feel like watching “Finding Nemo” again. Even though my worst fear are whales O_O
- I’m not kidding! I have nightmares of Whales!!
- O_O
(Reblogged from pokemondigmon)
@gabapple there’s more like you!! Also, Finding Nemo is one of my favorite-est movies ever. SO GOOD.
OMG I WAS TERRIFIED WATCHING THAT MOVIE IN THEATERS WHEN THE WHALE SHOWED UP I WANTED TO DIE
the-thought-emporium-imperial:
A little bit of reference material from Disney’s “Zootopia”.
this is perfect for any of you artists out there
my entire life i was told that boys are violent but girls are worse because we’re “catty.” i was told that a catty girl was my enemy, that they used whip tongues in place of fists to start things i couldn’t erase of out my skin. i saw this cattiness wherever i was told it would live. it was in pretty girls with nice lipstick and it was in the girls who studied too much to ever come to the parties and it was in my own group of friends. when i came home crying about something, i was often reminded that girls are catty bitches and if we were boys we’d just punch each other and be done with it.
but it was boys who first started making fun of how i looked, of what mess my face was like, of the fat on my thighs. and it was girls who showed me how to apply makeup, patiently waiting with me in the bathroom mirror to show how not to cry while i applied it to the waterline. they agreed to go on diets with me even when they hated salad. they agreed to scoop buckets of ice cream into our bellies at midnight when i was upset about something minor.
it was boys who were snippy about my grades, it was a man who first said that because i was a girl i was bad at math and i’d stay that way. it was boys who started making fun of the one time i got a 34 on a math test when my mother had been in the hospital the night before. it was girls who held my hand during this, who stayed with me through hours of library studies, who explained over and over in gel pens and pretty handwriting exactly what i was missing. it was girls who taught me to color-code and to highlight and how to stay up all night, it was girls who cheered with me when i got nothing lower than a B.
it was a boy who taught my friend that she could talk down to me like i was trash. it was a boy who started drama between us. it was a boy who wouldn’t listen or talk it out or find a solution. he’d say angry hurtful things and expect us to listen. it was girls who fixed me after this. they taught me how to make good and positive friends. how to stay away from the girls who really are toxic ones. how to be proud of others and not competitive. how to give genuine compliments, how to accept them, how to be comfortable with who i am and what has happened.
i was told all my life that there was a “type” of girl to avoid. she was probably wearing ugg boots and shorts or drinking a latte or picking out lush products or doing literally anything that girls like to do for themselves, she was catty. girls are catty. when they fight, it’s a catfight. (the majority of fights i saw were either physical or two girls sobbing while apologizing. the speaking beforehand was just the standoff because nobody was ready to take the gloves off).
girls, i find, are defensive. we wear our hands up, waiting for the hit. girls who are sick of getting hit get “bitchy.” they are fierce, they take what they want, they’ll mess you up for saying the wrong thing about their friend. and girls, who are unwilling to simply take insults without lashing back with something: they’re catty. and when boys bully others and spread nasty gossip and start drama: well, they’re just boys. they’ll fight it out, or something.
how much i regret believing that girls weren’t my safety net. how many friends i was scared to make because i was intimated by them. so many loving people. out of fear of what? of a tongue someone else has tattooed on them?
Being abused can seriously affect your ability to distinguish between “not obviously pleased” and “obviously displeased” because abusers go from Neutral to Hostile for absolutely no discernible reason, and eventually you start worrying that everyone is going to be like that and you start feeling this urge to make absolutely sure that the people you actually care about aren’t mad or upset, because to you, “there’s no evidence that they’re not angry” is the same as “there’s evidence that they are angry”
I was in an emotionally abusive friendship when I was in college, and I realized about a year ago that I was afraid to upset or even disagree with my friends (who I’ve known since high school and who I love and trust like they’re my siblings). It hit me that it was because of that friendship. I was so afraid that I was going to lose my friends or make them angry at me that I was afraid to even have a different opinion.
It’s amazing how engrained abuse can become in your brain.
Who broke their out-of-warranty laptop? That would be me. 😐
Aaron is trying to fix it. Finger crossed.
Clover gave me a new sketchbook this weekend!
Well hello waking up with a full on anxiety attack in the middle of the night… It’s been a while.