Do you know what I hate??
When I was growing up any time my brother upset/hurt/was rude to or downright nasty to me I was told “he’s just doing it to get a rise out of you” “he’s just doing it to annoy you”
Like??? I know?? I know he’s being mean to upset me. I know he’s saying horrible stuff to annoy me. And guess what?? I’m annoyed!!!!
I was literally told not to be upset, because his intentions were to upset me????
How is that not upsetting? Especially to a young girl??
THE GASLIGHTING STARTS EARLY.
Too many parents teach their daughters to shut up about mistreatment rather than teach their sons to not mistreat people. The response I got all the time was “If you ignore it he’ll get bored and stop.” No, he’ll move on to someone who gives him the reaction he wants. He’s being taught that it’s not his job to behave appropriately, it’s the woman’s job to react appropriately (i.e. ignore him) and if she doesn’t he’s free and clear to keep mistreating her.
Oh my god yes
My mother still does this. My brother says stupid racist/sexist/homophobic things and I (rightfully) call him out on it, only for my mom to defend him by saying “he’s only doing it to get a rise out of you.” Like okay, but isn’t it still shitty for him to say things just to upset me?
I also got that my brothers terrorized me to make me tougher, which is also bullshit.
Y’all do this now. A lot. “Ignore them they’re just trolling” like everyday people tell women to shut up and ignore mistreatment because “they just wanna get a rise out of you”. And a rise they will get along with some hands.