I didn’t want this to show up in the reblog notes for this picture but I also wanted to give credit to the artist because it’s really good art. But I see this picture on my dash all the time and it’s really upsetting because it’s promoting and glamorizing behavior that is really unhealthy. It needs an additional 8 panels where they try to talk but they don’t have anything to talk about in person and they have no chemistry and they can’t kiss without it feeling weird and then it takes less than 4 hours for them to decide they’re better off being just friends.
When you talk to someone online for years and meet them for the first time in person you’re basically setting yourself up for an extremely awkward but extremely well researched blind date. Almost everything that matters in a romantic relationship is not something you can gauge by an online relationship. Things like how a person holds themselves in conversation and how they smell and how tall they are and how easy it is to hang out on the couch with them and how a solid week of hanging out together would unfold are all things you can not know from talking to someone online for years and they make up like 60% of what a relationship even is.
Pretending a relationship is “all mental” and assuming that if you get along on chat you’ll get along in person is really juvenile and unfair to yourself. Even if you’re gay. Even if you’re a sexual minority. Even if you think there is no one in your home town you can date, and even if you’re right, it’s still not smart to put all your stock into someone over the internet.
I mean it makes sense if you’re young and in high school because it doesn’t matter as much as your friendships with class mates don’t matter. But please please please don’t, like, not date people in your real life because you think you’re dating someone online or god forbid move to their city without spending several weeks with them first.
If you’re in a place in your life where you think you need to be in an online relationship the healthiest option is to tough it out until you can change your situation to the point that real life relationships are available to you. But by letting yourself fall in love with someone online (which is SUPER EASY when you don’t have to deal with the very real barrier of “chemistry”) you’re setting yourself up for this weird thing where one of you has to make a big move to live with a stranger, which is always a bad choice, or for the thing to just fizzle out anyway.
Don’t do that. Move to another city. Go to a queer bar. Meet a nice real human being.
Also I’m not going to actually argue against anyone in this post because I guarantee if you’re getting mad about reading this you’re going to realize I’m right a few hours after your awkward airport hug because I’m speaking from both personal experience and the aggregate experience of every one of my friends who’s tried to do this.
It doesn’t work, man, the internet is a venus flytrap for your heart.The only venus fly trap I see is your advice, which is completely subjective. Also, I find it hilarious how you tell us that you’re not going to respond to any arguments against this post because we just “haven’t realized” you’re right yet, because there’s no possible way someone could have a good opinion that goes against yours eh buddy? or should I say “God” since there’s no possible chance of you being wrong?
Your “advice” doesn’t sound like factual or relationship advice, it sounds like you threw a tantrum over your internet partner not meeting your expectations in person, and because of this disappointment you displace your hurt feelings onto other people who have met in person and have had very happy and successful relationships, unlike yours.
If it was such a “fact” that internet relationships coming to meet in person did not work out, then I don’t understand how I’ve been able to stay friends with people online I’ve now met in person, or how so many of my friends are still happily together with their SO’s and even (the gods in the clouds forbid) planning on moving in with each other some day.
guess we all must be breaking the rules of science if your advice is such fact
relationships first met with people online (of the platonic or romantic variety alike) may not be well suited for everyone, but telling someone there’s no chance of them ever working out is like telling someone not to buy a bouquet of beautiful flowers because one’s thorn happened to prick you once.
but then a prick for a prick would make an astounding amount of sense
Fuck yourself sideways, first commenter. My online relationship got me out of a hellhole and gave me the strength to try being my own person. Everything else I’ll leave to sellerdoor to say.
Remember that time
when
I was in love with someone over the internet and it was great and we decided to meet after being friends online for like 4 years and then we met and it was awkward for like 10 minutes until he hugged me
and then we kissed on the 3rd day
and then
he moved here and we got married
and we’ve been very happily married for six and a half years
and
things are awesome?
yeah internet relationships meeting in person always ends up poorly. totally.
OH WAIT EVERY INTERNET FRIEND I’VE MET IN PERSON AFTERWARD HAS BEEN AN EVEN CLOSER BETTER FRIEND. Gasp. 🙂