Aries: I’m better than all of you assholes
Taurus: I could eat some cake right now.
Gemini: I’m going to pretend I care about what you just said
Cancer: I need hugs and cookies.
Leo: Fuck u bitch I’m fabulous, bow down to me.
Virgo: You’re all uncultered swines.
Libra: Stop war hug more
Scorpio: I tired of your bullshit, I just wanna sleep
Sagittarius: I wanna fuck your girlfriend
Capricorn: Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex
Aquarius: I’m hot and gay.
Pisces: Fuck my life.