Our house was broken into while we were out this evening, and we were robbed. As far as we can tell, all that’s been stolen is the PS3, Wii, two laptops, and two guitars. That sucks, but we’re okay, our cats are okay, and the damage is fairly minimal. We have insurance and will be dealing with all of that nonsense tomorrow. In the meantime, though, now that we’ve cleaned up, I wanted to write a bit about how having been obsessed with Detective Conan helped.

This could also be titled ‘Why Roleplaying is Awesome’

(Also, unwinding from the stress with my favorite series is helpful before bed, so there.)

Hubby and I both work full-time and we’ve got a 40 minute commute both ways, so the house is empty a lot of the time. We’re always careful to keep things locked up tight, though; we’re paranoid, especially since we’re both fans of crime dramas and mysteries where tiny details lead to big problems.

 We noticed something was off as we drove up to the house tonight.  Probably because we have, you know, a keen eye for details. The back porch light was on, which is something we’d never do. Weird, but there could be a lot of reasons for that. Maybe we bumped it. Who knows. We parked the car, locked it, then went to look, just in case.

…we found a trashcan overturned and the gate opened. 

It’s fall now, so our lawn guys haven’t been around in over a month. We don’t have any kids, either, and all we ever do is play on the internet, so there was no reason for anyone to be in our backyard. The trash can could have fallen over due to the strong winds that we often get, but that gate is heavy. 

So, hand in hand, we crept around the back and low and behold: 

This is not a good thing. We’ve had broken windows in other places before, but clearly, someone had been in our house. They had to have in order to turn on the back porch light.

What do you do in a situation like this? I’ve never had a break in before. Hell, I’d never even called the police before. BUT… I’d seen it in Conan a million times and, in roleplay, my detective characters (Conan, Hakuba) have to do it all of the time. I’ve researched this stuff! So I asked, ‘What would Conan do?’

My first instinct was go to into the house to see what was stolen. Fortunately, I ignored that in favor for listening to the detectives in my head, honed after many hours of analyzing the series and constructing scenes dealing with this same situation.

…this is where I start to sound crazy, but bear with me here. 

“Mun-neechan, call the police immediately. Don’t go in there. You don’t know if anyone’s still in the house, which is very dangerous. Criminals get violent when interrupted.”

“Conan-kun is absolutely right: your safety is top priority. Items can be replaced. It will be all right; just call the police. They will help you. Are there any neighbors that you can go to?”

Alas, we don’t know any of our neighbors, and most of the lights were off by then in the neighboring houses. But I could call the police. What am I supposed to say, though?

“Just stay calm. Explain that there’s been a break in, but that you’re not entirely certain what the extent of the damage is. The dispatcher will ask you a series of questions. They will be patient and more than willing to clarify anything you’re confused about.”

“They’ll ask for name, address, phone number, and when the instance occurred. The calmer you stay and the better details you provide, the faster and better they’ll be able to help." 

Will we get in trouble for calling the police, though? I mean, it’s probably just a thief or something, so is this really an emergency?

"It is an emergency, yes. Definitely call them right away. That’s what the police are there for; to help. If you EVER run into a situation like this, it’s best to call. The worst-case scenario is that they’ll direct your call to a more appropriate department. Trust us; they would much rather you err on the side of caution." 

"It’s better to be safe than sorry. And when there are signs of forced entry into your home, you don’t mess around.”

So I did. I called 911 and spoke to a dispatcher who asked those questions and several more, and asked us to wait somewhere safe while waiting. “Do not enter the premises. Officers are on the way.”

It was then that I noticed that the bedroom light was on upstairs. When we leave in the morning, we turn everything off but the front porch light. That was the moment I was really, really  scared. Someone in our bedroom? UGH.

A short time later, four squad cars arrived, each with a big, tough-looking officer. Three began a sweep of the property while the fourth came to talk to us. Asked us lots of good questions, then asked us to wait outside while they checked the house out. 

When they walked in, they announced their presence… and covered each other as they moved through our house. It was incredibly tense, waiting for them to go through each room and closet. Fortunately (really, really fortunately), the criminal(s) had come and gone, the house was empty. 

They asked us to go through and take note of anything that was missing while they started getting the report checked in. 

Very little was actually touched, thank goodness. The aforementioned items were just… poof, gone; leaving nothing but silhouettes of the objects in the remaining fields of dust and cat hair. 

After that, it was a matter of cleanup. Fortunately, this was the only damage done to the house itself. The glass was everywhere; sprayed over the room in a 6’ radius. Hubby and I analyzed the patterns and talked about blood splatters (there were none, but still) and so on while we cleaned… and went over all of the things about the crime that should have been done differently/better. Rating the various aspects of the job.

Kind of like this:

“Goodness, they took the Rock Band Pro Guitar and the Squire Stratocaster, but left the Seagull?" 

"That’s not as bad as taking the PS3 and the Wii and not taking the Xbox360 that was just sitting there…”

“I’m surprised that they didn’t take the doubly-autographed wall scroll of Kudou-kun and Kaitou Kid… Nor any of the films, games, or adorable plushie of you, Kohai~”

“They were probably weirded out by the sheer number of nerd stuff in the house and just wanted to get the hell out of there." 

"You’d think they could have at least had the decency to steal some of the excess flatware that they’ve been gifted over the years…”

“Don’t be stupid, Hakuba. Nobody wants those.”

So we survived. Cleaned up, barricaded the back door, and then listened to safety tips from the detectives (like, ‘check all of the doors and windows to make sure everything is locked’ – which revealed that one of our front windows was unlocked – ack!, and so on). Fortunately, RPing/Skype buddies pooled together resources when they heard, too, and provided a bunch of links to help us sort out our missing stuff… all of which we will deal with tomorrow! 

Thanks for the concern and well-wishes, guys…! We’ve been through much, much worse, and will be a-okay. 

The End. 

(I’m going to go pass out now holycrap I am tired)