When he made it outside he breathed in deeply a couple of times before climbing on to the bike; helmet and jacket forgotten along with his backpack. He didn’t tear down the drive or creep along it slowly he simply performed it like his life.
Controlled.
He nearly broke down on her and sobbed. Gods know he wanted to but after so many years of constantly forcing himself to stay strong he automatically closed in. The hug was what chipped at that control. Wrapping his arms around her he held onto her tightly. He gritted his teeth to keep from spewing out his life story.
He gave her one last squeezed and walked out of the room.
Baaya let him go, following after but with enough distance, she hoped, that he wouldn’t feel chased. He needed someone, just like the young master did, and hoped they would figure that out, soon. She worked on what to tell Hakuba while she watched Kaito leave in the false dawn, curtains pulled back from the window.
Poor, poor, broken boys…
He paused and felt his blood drain. ‘She know. She knows’ kept chant over and over in his head and left him lost and scared. He shook his head and kept his shaking back to her. “No, thank you …. Baaya-chan? About what you see … please don’t tell him?”
He looked back to her, a desperate plea was in his eyes.
She did know, and it reminded her so much of the young master that it nearly broke her heart. Baaya wasn’t able to resist any longer, stepping over to him to wrap her arms around him, embrace warm, soft. Different than Hakuba’s, but still nothing but loving.
“Your secret is safe with me, Kuroba-kun… and our door is always open to you.”
“Ah, no thank you. Horrible stuff.” He spoke stiffly and hoarsely. He throat felt like sandpaper. He felt his lips quirk awkwardly in a half smile and shook his head. “I … um, well I need to get home … I hope you don’t mind. I sort of raided the linen closest for a blanket and pillow for Hakuba. Thank you for the hospitality last night … could you apologize to Hakuba for me? … ah …um tell him I’ll call later or he can visit … you too if you want .. the Kuroba home isn’t as big as this place but ….ah …um …..right."
He closed his eyes and scrunched his brow against the headache. “I’m sorry, I should probably go … yeah ….”
He found himself trailing off and heading towards the door. The nightmare had left him far more shaken than he realized.
"You’re fine, dear, and I’ll let the young master know. Are you sure that I can’t get you anything at all?” Baaya watched him, wondering how much she was allowed to take care of the boy. He and Hakuba were obviously close, but until there was some sort of official word on the subject, she probably shouldn’t interfere…
As if she could really resist. “Tea? Water? Cake to take home? Oh, you must at least take what we prepared for you from last night’s dinner, all wrapped up and ready to go."
Kaito left Hakuba and walked into the kitchen hoping to find Baaya. He tried to smile normally when he saw her but couldn’t really find the strength. He felt rough and hoped that he didn’t really look like it. “Good Morning, Baaya-chan.”
“Good morning, Kuroba-kun,” Baaya said in greeting, keeping her voice quiet. She noticed something off, yes, and in that way that only a mother – or governess – could. Instead of commenting directly, though, she gave a soft smile. “Would you like some coffee before you go?"
Kaito didn’t realize he had fallen asleep with the detective till the nightmare came. Quick and fast. Just an onslaught of blurred images filled with fire, smoke and screams. He was running or had been he could feel it in his legs.
Small twitches racked his body till they sifted into full body jerks. His eyes flew open and fear closed off the scream. Gasping like a drowning man he weakly rose off his friend only to have his shaking arms give and he collapsed to the floor. Curling there he waited for the tremors to subside. Whimpering he wrapped a hand around his throat and wheezed in barely enough air.
It took fifteen minutes before he could breath properly again and another ten for him to raise into a sitting position so he could at least crawl to the opposite window. The sun was barely peeking out from horizon and died the sky in a pale pink light. Sighing he rested his aching head on his knees.
After calming down enough to walk Kaito ventured through the home to the linen closest to grab a blanket and a pillow for the sleeping detective. He covered him and gently ran his fingers through his hair and watched him sleep for a moment. He looked out the window again and could see the sun peek over the tree tops. He was reluctant to go home but he wasn’t quiet ready to talk about his nightmares just yet and he knew that they were showing in his face this morning.
If Hakuba hadn’t been drinking, and he hadn’t fallen asleep in such a comfortably warm position, he would have woken up to the tremors. The movement, the gasping, the distress of the other would have pulled him from his sleep in an instant. But with most of the bottle of wine having lulled him so thoroughly, he only shifted onto his side once the blanket was tucked around him.
Honestly, it was the best sleep he’d had in a long while. A pity that the same couldn’t be said for Kaito.
The morning did have some benefits, though; mostly in the form of Baaya, who was already awake and in the kitchen to prepare coffee and tea. The master would be awake in the next hour, and she always made sure that he had his newspaper and morning coffee prepared for the commute to the metropolitan police station.
She’d noticed that the motorcycle was still outside, and she had seen the two still in the parlor together, but had kept it to herself. As long as the Master didn’t find out, she didn’t mind. If anything, it would be fun news to report to the Mistress later… and endlessly amusing to tease the Young Master about.
Kaito jumped a little in surprise but relaxed into the kiss. Gently he spread his fingers over Hakuba’s chest and felt his heart beat. Everything that had happened over the past few weeks was like a dream; a wonderful life like dream that he really didn’t want to wake from. They had gone from what he thought was a mutual hatred to an awkward brief friendship only to find that they both felt an attraction to each other. He was happy. He was scared. So scared to find that this was all a joke. That the first and only person he had feelings for, even minor ones, would walk away and leave him alone again.
His fingers curled into Hakuba’s lapel and he trembled slightly. That would slowly destroy him from the inside out. He wanted to shake his head but held firm in the kiss and willed away haunting thoughts. This was the now, soft kisses, tender holds, and friendship. The simple basic things he had denied himself for so long. He was going to enjoy them as long as he could and to the fullest.
Although the future was definitely uncertain, Hakuba had no plan or intention to destroy what they had, however fragile, however brief. He closed his eyes as he continued the kiss, letting his fingers crawl over Kaito’s face and into his hair again, dipping fingers through the wild locks with a tender caress. If only life were simple enough to let them stay in that embrace. The detective let his hand travel over his back until he reached the small of it, holding it there to keep Kaito close.
They stayed like that for a time, just kissing, being comfortable, sinking into the plush couch with each other, warm and hazy in the dimness of the recessed lighting. It’d been a long day. A very, very long day. A long week, too. Month. Year. Life.
Things grew hazy as time wore on, and Hakuba offered deep, contented sighs between the now lazy kisses, eyes staying closed as he just enjoyed the other’s company. And somehow, strangely, the obsessive detective lost track of the time, and night wore on with no small amount of drifting between conscious thought and dreams, far too comfortable to stir until he was deeply asleep.
He lifted his head to look at him. “The monocle I gave you represents everything I’m giving you. The trust I’m putting into you … to give it back … it felt as if it meant nothing.”
He shifted and buried his face again. “I over reacted I know.”
There was silence for several seconds as Hakuba thought about that, struck by the simple significance. Suddenly, it all made sense. He looked down at him, all conflicted and bruised thoughts on the subject ebbing away. It might have been the wine, it might have been the honeyglow, but there was a feeling of resolution resonating in him that made everything just so comfortable.
He moved a hand to Kaito’s cheek, slipping it under to his chin to guide him to look up, giving an affectionate smile. “It’s all right. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize. Thank you.” Then he moved to kiss him, warm and full on the lips, no longer held back by his usual inhibitions.
“Aw, come come now.” Kaito chirped and climb back to his laying spot on the detective. “Don’t pout. It’ll make me want to kiss it away.”
He sighed in complete relaxation and contentment. Nuzzling his cheek and nose against the other chest he curled around the detective then stretched out his legs fully. One of those long one that made his joints burn and feel amazing when he finally release the tension.
Hakuba moved to get more comfortable, letting Kaito curl up against him again. He sighed, exaggerating the sound as he lifted his hand to his forehead, going for theatrics to dismiss his genuine sadness for the sudden lack of wine. “You know that will just make me want to pout even more, don’t you? Hmf.”
The detective then set his hands on the thief’s shoulders, finding that he enjoyed the close contact and perhaps he’d had enough wine, really. He felt so warm, so relaxed. “That reminds me…” he said as his thoughts wandered from topic to topic. “Are you going to explain why it made you so angry when I tried to give you back the monocle? I thought you’d be pleased…"
“AH!” He snagged the bottle and tipped it back the bottle for a swig. He coughed and poured the rest into his own. Thinking that he may have to take the offer on the guest bedroom. “No more for you tonight."
He finished off his glass quickly and scrunched his nose against the burn. “There all gone.”
He leaned over him and smiled softly at him. “Thank you.”
The detective watched in somewhat subdued horror as Kuroba finished off the wine without him, brows knitting in disappointment. "Ah! …aw,” he said, then looked to his own glass, picking it up to see if there was anything left at all, even a single drop.
Alas, he was able to tilt it all the way over with nothing left. Defeated, Hakuba leaned over to set the wine glass on the empty cake plate amid crumbs. "I’ll miss it.“