“I’m sure if I had five pounds to spare,” quipped the agent in English, “I wouldn’t mind lending it, sure… Let me remind you, however, that this is Japan, and such currency is not used here. Clouds, are you drinking again?”
“The more accurate question would be if I ever stopped. Aha!”
"…also, please return to speaking broken and difficult-to-understand Japanese. Your English makes you sound far too intelligent and attractive and that makes me very uncomfortable. Unless, of course, your goal is to seduce me in which case I may have to call my lawyer. Or give in. I’m not sure which. Regardless, the fiver thing was a joke; my mates back in London and I used to say that all the time, it was our clever way of saying that it was time to hit the pub for some good, old-fashioned underage drinking.”
"…and now you’ve gotten me soapboxing again. UGH.”