Terminal Affirmation

smokebombsandmirrors:

As Kaito watched him his over enthusiastic grin fading into one that was personal and meant just for Hakuba to see. “You didn’t think I’d just let you leave with out seeing you one last time?”

He sat up and leaned on to his knees. “I …..”

I wish you weren’t going. I wish I didn’t open my big mouth and sent you off. I wish we had more time. I wish … I wish … There were so many of those that were fluttering about his mind and clogging his throat his didn’t know what to say. ‘I like you’ was to cliche and would bring too much pain to both of them. ‘I’ll see you soon’ was say too much of the unknown. ‘I’ll miss you’ was a given. ‘Don’t fall for any other thieves while your over there’ was just highly inappropriate.

He scrunched his brow and stared at the carpet. He was so lost at what to say. With his mother she was usually gone before he could wish her a safe trip. It wasn’t like he didn’t want that for Hakuba but he also wanted the damn plane to break down before the detective ever got on the monstrosity.  

The trailed silence earned a small, meaningful smile from the detective in return, who wished for all the world that he could offer a hand in reassurance. If not to hold Kaito’s, at least to put around him. If they were in London, it wouldn’t even be a question; he’d kiss him right then and there, hold him tightly, nuzzle into the crook of his neck. But there, in Japan, all he could do was attempt to not look quite as wistful and lovesick as he felt. 

Shoulders hunched, he, too, glanced down at the carpet after a moment. Societal convention forced so much to be left unsaid, and while it wasn’t fair and he certainly didn’t agree with it, there was nothing, really, that either of them could do.

“We’ll call, text, email, and send photos,” Hakuba said, forcing his voice to stay quiet and even. “I’ll be busy with campus tours and Scotland Yard, you’ll… well, I know you’ll be busy causing all sorts of mischief. We just need to be careful so that we’ll be reunited in one piece in just… a couple of months…”  It wasn’t as accurate estimate as he liked, but he feared that the actual number would sound far too despairing. “And I’ll be back before you know it.”

He paused, then, struck by a sudden, terrible thought. “…a practice run, if you will, for… long distance…" 

Terminal Affirmation

smokebombsandmirrors:

image

“Around seven. I didn’t want to miss seeing you off since dinner got scrimped.” He grinned and took the open seat next to him. He folded the aviators and hooked down the front of his black v-necked shirt revealing slightly tired eyes and the starting of dark circles. The dark red cargo jacket shifted back that showed off his slim waist and hips. Dark wash jeans hung low on his hips and was held up by a thick brown leather belt and dark boot were worn and scuffed from years of use. 

“Excited?” He asked and hooked his arms around the backs of the chair next to him and behind Hakuba. He stretched out and relaxed in the usually uncomfortable chair.

The blush didn’t leave as Hakuba watched him, noting the discrete arm, the casual pose. Was Kuroba not worried at all by what he was doing? He drank awful coffee from the cup to buy himself a moment of time, then smiled, still embarrassed, but… grateful. 

“To see you, yes… but not so much to leave. Watson doesn’t really like planes… and…” The smile faded as Hakuba looked down at his cup, unconsciously leaning toward Kaito with a sigh. It wasn’t fair that he looked so attractive and so tired; it only made his resolve that much more worn. If only they could leave, go back to the house, cuddle down for a much-needed nap… “I wasn’t expecting to see you here. Thank you for coming. God, I wish I wasn’t leaving." 

Terminal Affirmation

smokebombsandmirrors:

He swiped the hang up icon, leaned over the detective shoulder and pecked him lightly on the temple. “I miss you, too, Tantei-san.~”

Hakuba froze at the sudden touch, eyes wide and startled until the situation caught up with him. “A-ah! Kuroba-kun!” he said, fumbling with his coffee. “When did you get here? I didn’t think…” His face flushed with color as he realized he’d just been kissed – in public – around a mass of people. 

Terminal Affirmation

smokebombsandmirrors:

image

He chuckled and stood from the table. Tossing his trash he began walking out of tiny cafe. “We not that far from each other.”

“As I said, I know that the fact is that we’re much closer, but…”  Hakuba frowned, brows creasing at the apparent miscommunication of his sentiment.

Whether it was because he was so tired or so stressed, the detective really had not noticed the noise on the other end of the line. It would have been easy to assume – though assuming was always a dangerous inclination – that he were simply in a busy area, like a mall. Shopping for more ties without him, perhaps. He took another sip of coffee, then continued. “Ah, anyway, suffice to say that I miss you already…?" 

Terminal Affirmation

smokebombsandmirrors:

image

“Not at all. I’ve been awake for a while. How are you feeling? You sound a little stressed.” He said softly, watched him from the small cafe he was sitting at, and just how long it would take the other to hear the airports background noise echo back to him.

“A little harried, yes, but somewhat better now that I’ve got a moment to talk to you.” Hakuba didn’t want to risk sounding clingy or overly sappy, so he hoped that his mostly casual response veiled his feelings effectively enough. “I’m at the airport now… just waiting until boarding, which won’t be long now. God, I’m sorry this past weekend was such a mess.”

He took a sip of coffee, then frowned at it. Not nearly enough cream or sugar. Alas. The detective drank more, anyway; he really needed to wake up.

“I know we’re just twenty-two and a half miles apart, but it already feels like I’m 5,963 miles away…" 

Terminal Affirmation

image

(…continued from…)

Monday morning arrived and Kaito was sitting at a cafe in the Tokyo airport. His phone lit up and started to sing out Undisclosed Desires by the Muse.

“Morning, my detective.” He answered sweetly and kept the exhaustion out of his voice.

Finally, something happened just the way he’d hoped! Heaving a sigh of relief, Hakuba smiled, head tilting, and leaned against the nearest pillar to rest his body while they spoke. He had a few minutes. Not long, but long enough to gain some reprieve from the stress.

“Good morning, Kuroba-kun…” To be greeted thus left him torn between feeling wonderfully warm and terribly lonely. His words all but dried up in his throat as he looked up to check the board for his flight departure time. No delays and all too soon. “Apologies for not calling earlier; it’s been sort of a rough morning.

"I hope I didn’t wake you." 

Terminal Affirmation

(Really long reply post from smokebombsandmirrors w/ backstory put behind cut for archival purposes:)

image

 ”Hullo?”

“Hey …”

“Hey! Kuroba-kun, how are you doing? I’m so sorry I missed you this morning… I suppose I was, ah, /very/ out of it…”

Laughs. “A little would be putting it mildly. You looked like you needed it though.”

“It was nice. I haven’t slept that well in a very long time.” Hesitation. “Did you sleep all right? I heard you left very early…”

 ”Yeah.” Forced. Clears throat. “I’ve always been an early riser so don’t worry about it. I slept fine. I had to go into Beika for a few things and didn’t want to hit the rush. Sorry.”

“That’s fine… I know you’d intended to go home last night. Sorry that I kept you. Well, sorry, but not really sorry? I miss you already… at the risk of sounding clingy…”

Smiles and chuckles. “Don’t worry about it and at the risk of sounding even more cheesy, I do too and kept thinking how I wish I had taken you tie shopping with me.”

“You went tie shopping?!”

“I did. I needed to pick up a new one for my uniform and I found a few others that sort followed me out of the store.”
“Ahhhh! But tie shopping is my favorite! That had to be done this /morning/? Really?” POUT.

 Laughs. “You looked too cute sleeping I just didn’t have the heart to wake you and besides I can always go again anytime. A gentleman can’t have enough ties. “

 ”It’s so true…” He sighs, meaning the /ties/ not that he’s cute. “Never, ever enough ties. Well. I hope that you found some good ones. I’m still jealous, though. Did you… enjoy yourself last night?”

Stares at his phone for a moment. ‘did he really?’ “More than you could ever know. We should do it again soon. With out the yelling and the suspicion. How about my place? I could cook for you.”

 ”I’d like that. A lot, actually.” A pause. “I’m leaving for London next week… Monday, actually.”

“Ah …” Silence. “So soon …. I thought …” I had a little more time.

“It’s… I’ll becoming back before…” How to explain this? “I’m to take some tours… Mum wants to see me… but I’ll be back before summer’s out, at least for a little while…”

“No, that’s good. You’re following your dream right?” Be supportive. “ Word of advice for you: Don’t ever let your self hesitate. ”  It was the same wasn’t it. Wether diving head first off roofs or making life changing decisions.

 ”…I suppose.” He sighs. “I’d love to see you again before I go, though… and, ah… I really will come back, either way… finish moving my things..”

 ”Its a promise then. Just call and say when you want to meet again.” a long pause. “I” don’t want you to go. “I’m going to miss you …. “

 ”I’m going to miss you, too…” Dammit. “Ah… hey, you could see me at the airport… I’ll email my itinerary…”

 ” …. Thanks.”

“Kuroba-kun…”

 ”I’ll be back.”

 ”You better. Hakuba?”

 ”Yes?”

 ”I like you.”

A pause, letting that sink in. “I like you, too.” Nuances included.

Smiles stupidly. “So~ When I cook for you what do you want?”

“What do you know how to cook~? I enjoy most foods… … … except duck.”

Duck? “just about anything save for … fish.” Shudders.

“That’s fine. Cordon bleus are my favorite…”
“Then I guess I’ll have to make that~ ”
“They’re a lot of work~”

“Not too much and besides it’ll be worth  it to see your happy face”

“Oh god, you’re good to me.”
Laughs
“If you keep being so sweet I’ll come to expect it though, you realize…”

“I do. Its my evil plan to get you so attached to me you can’t live with out me~”

He laughs. “God, you’re cute. I’m sorry, I should have… realized before, you know? About the both of us.”

“and what is that exactly?”

“That we both.. liked each other.”

“We weren’t exactly nice to each other. The whole thing was kind of like two territorial dogs.” Laughs

“And yet… and yet I couldn’t get enough of you. Somehow. I’m glad.”

“Gods I am the same. Exactly the same.”

“And now we’re dating.” He sounds so happy.

“Not just that, Hakuba, we’re also friends." 

"Yes, true.” Pause. Frown. “I wish I wasn’t going…”

“I … don’t want you to leave either but you have to go. 
You have to give this a chance. I’m not going anywhere so I can wait for you.”

"All right.” He sighs. “Thank you…”
“I’ll fret about you the entire time, you know.”

Laughs. “You don’t have to worry too much but thank you. I’m probably going to send shots of the heists you may miss. Gods I’m really going to miss you.”

“I hope you do… send me updates, lots of them… we can talk and text, right? You won’t mind too much?”

“Of course not! Send me as much as you want and I’ll do the same! I want tons of photos too! ”

“I can do that, yes… ”

“Great! …. You okay?”
“I’m all right, Kuroba-kun, I just… god, I wish I’d come to you sooner… but perhaps some maturity was needed to be to be gained, first…" 
"I think it was need for both of us.”
“Yes, I suppose you’re right… and at least we’ve now discussed it…:”
Hums in agreement.
“I’m sorry that I’m leaving so soon… mum booked the flight for me since she said I was just… floundering…”

“Hakuba its okay., trust me I can understand willful mothers.”

“They’re a meddling bunch.”

“They are and I love them for it.” Laughs.

“Even though mine is making me come home so soon?”

“You should go see your mother regardless of anything else going on.”

“And I was planning to! But not for a couple of weeks…”
“It’ll be fine.” Amused.

“You sound so casual about it~ I’m your boyfriend, you know!" He’s amused, too.

"I know, but she’s family and take precedence over a day long boyfriends”

“…it feels like it’s been so much longer.” He laughs, helplessly. 

“it has ….” wistful and sappy.

Little laugh. “…Could it be kismet~?”

“Soulmates.”

He /giggles/, and tries to muffle the sound. Ahem. “Er, yes. Yes. Quite.” 

Chuckles at the sound. “Don’t go getting shy on me now~”

“I can’t help it! You’re so good at getting me flustered.”

“What can I say I’m just that good~” Laughs. “Besides you make it so easy. A blush looks really sexy on you.”

“H-hey now! You’re being such a tease! Stop that… stop right now~”

“Why? Are you blushing?~ ”

“God of COURSE I am! And you know that I am!" 

Sighs. “Tis a shame that I can’t see that pretty color.”

"It’s… not pretty! Here, hold on a moment.”
Trying to turn on the face.. cam… thing on his phone.

"What are you trying to do, sweet?”

“Trying to.. get this thing to work… does your phone have a face-time application?”
“Or do you have a webcam on your laptop?”
He shook his head and smiled. Rotating his phone he quickly turned on the cam. ” Is this what you were trying to do~”
He had on a thin black tank top and was leaned against the massive mound of pillows on his bed.
“…yes. Sorry, this is the new iphone… they change everything every couple of months, it seems… bloody hell…”   Looking at him, smiling a little 
“I was right. That really is a beautiful color.” He grinned and hooked a hand behind his head.

“No, it’s not. Don’t you start that, Kuroba-kun.” He sticks his tongue out. So mature. “Anyway, we’ll have to have that dinner when I get back… hopefully I won’t be there too long… it’s not as though Oxford’s terribly far from London, after all…”
“You’ll get wrinkles. Hakuba, time will go by in a flash. You’ll be able to visit though. It’ll only be a few hour drive.”

“You’d still date me even if I had wrinkles, right~?” He’s trying to not show how insecure he is, but he can’t help it.

“Of course. I’d date you if you turned out to be fat and bald. You being insanely attractive is a special bonus~ " 
He thought to he own scars and squirmed.

”/Insanely/ attractive? I thought that was /you/… Hmmm. How very interesting.“ Snickers.

He felt his ears burn.

Hakuba laughs a little more. “Well, it’s true! You’re incredibly handsome. I’ve always thought so.”

"Even when I was scrawny basket case?" 
"Scrawny basket case?” Pause, thinks. “Do you mean when I first transferred in? I never quite thought that… LOUD, yes, but…”

Laughs deep. “Well that’s good to know!” 

“Can we do this all the time while I’m in England?”

He smiled. “Of course, for as long as you like.”

“Hurrah! Good.” Little, sheepish smile. “…I wish I could sneak away to see you.”

“Why don’t you? Your window opens up to the ground, You can always say that your just going for a walk~ ”

He looks to the window 
“…I could just get into my car… it’s not as though Baaya could stop me…”

“Come on~ I can cook~”

“… … just let me get my keys.”
“I’ll get started cooking.”

“I’ll see you in just a few minutes~”
Kaito considered himself lucky, extremely lucky. Yet when it came to Hakuba he always seemed a little down and out. Their impulsed dinner date was one of those times. Hakuba did make it inside and they got to share a steamy kiss that made Kaito’s toe curls and belly warm but the detective’s phone went off and he was dragged onto a case. What about, Kaito didn’t know. So he was left sending the other off like some sappy wife waving a white handkerchief hoping that the other was going to come home safely. 
That was the last time he had actually spoken to the detective.The nightmares had come on fast and hard leaving him with the littlest amount of sleep over the three days. He was panicked and worried and desperately wanted to go find Hakuba himself. Sunday came as did the first texts he received from him. 
[text] Kuroba:‘on foot…’

[text] Kuroba: ‘culprits found bolt hole’

[text] Kuroba: ‘in pursuit’

[text] Kuroba: ‘firefight brb’

The last text came and he wanted to faint with worry. He didn’t move from his phone for hours till it finally rang and Hakuba spoke to him. He remember the apology from the detective came first then, the questions, the blind terror at him getting hurt then the relief, the sweet relief that everything was fine and Hakuba was safe and alive. The migraine had started to subside after that and he as able to let the detective go to bed so he could get a few hours of sleep before his flight. 

Monday morning arrived and Kaito was sitting at a cafe in the Tokyo airport. His phone lit up and started to sing out Undisclosed Desires by the Muse.

“Morning, my detective.” He answered sweetly and kept the exhaustion out of his voice.

Terminal Affirmation

image

“Saguru James Hakuba! How dare you not answer your phone! This is the fifth time I’ve called you this morning!”

Hakuba stared at the blurry iphone screen from where he was on the couch, stifling a yawn in the late afternoon light. “Mum…?”

“Were you up drinking? GOD!”

“Yes… I suppose…” He glanced at the table where the bottle of wine still was, now emptied, but left along despite everything else on the table having been cleared off. Baaya had already come and gone. And, apparently, so had Kaito. “Apologies, Mum, I had a guest over.”

“I know. Baaya’s already told me. Now, I’ve forwarded your itinerary…”

“Already told you?”

“Yes, you had a going away party, it’s very charming, but listen: your flight leaves Monday morning at 10:40. Don’t forget that it’s international so you’ll want to bring your passport of course, allow for extra time to go through security, and make certain that Watson has her travel needs met…”

“Monday?” Hakuba sat up.

“Yes! You’ve been dragging your feet so I went ahead and arranged everything for you. Don’t worry, I got you first class, and you’ve your priority boarding, and Baaya will take you to the airport… Do you have your things packed yet?”

“Mum, I haven’t even decided which school I’m going to!”

Marion sighed her most patient of sighs. “You have the weekend to pack, anything left we can just hire someone to take care of. Besides, you’ll be going back to finish up and–”

“Mum!”

“Saguru, told you to take a GAP year, but did you want to listen? Noooo. It was always ‘no, Mum, I know you’re always right and have the best ideas, but I need to rush my education so that I can begin working like an adult and completely forget to enjoy myself because I’m a workaholic who can’t take a break and I don’t want or need self-discovery because I’m happy being miserable,’ right?”

Hakuba frowned. “Mum. You know that’s not how it is.”

“It is. Now go on. Get packing. I’ll see you at the airport, my love. I can’t wait to have you home again.”

“Fine…" 

He’d really hoped to have more time before he went back to London. True, he would be coming back before the start of the semester, but all the same… Touring Cambridge and Oxford was just another step leading away from Kaito. 

Perhaps he should just decide on Keio and be done with it… 

But then…

Frustrated, he ran a hand through his hair and looked at his phone. It was two in the afternoon. He could call… no. He shouldn’t be so clingy. The hesitation snowballed as the day wore on, and by the time he called, there was really nothing that could be done.

image

"Is everything all right?” turned into “I miss you.” and “I want to see you,” only to be followed with the difficult truth: he was leaving in three days. Less than, even. "Fifty-six hours, thirty two minutes… well, less, given security, but surely, there’s some… some time?“

The young detective looked at the packing yet to be done, the casework piled on his desk that needed to be turned in, and finally his car keys. If he hurried, perhaps… 

But between work schedules and being called to fill in as an extra for first division and all else, time simply slipped away. "I’ll be coming back before summer ends…” he said, leaving off the part where he didn’t know when, or for how long. 

Before he knew it, Hakuba was stepping out of a cab onto the walk in front of Tokyo International Airport. He shouldered his carry on, grimacing at the concrete burn over the left side of his body and took a moment to gather himself before going for his suitcase and Watson’s carrier. 

He’d done this flight dozens of times. It was never pleasant, but it was nothing new to him at all. Hakuba patted his suit jacket, making sure that his wallet, passport, and pack of playing cards were in place, paid the driver, and started off toward the terminal, pushing past the crowds of foot traffic.

God, he hated that airport. Hated how he stood out like one of the tourists, hated that he was often so alone, hated that he had so much to keep track of all at once and a tight schedule to keep. Especially that morning; he’d overslept after getting home so late the night before due to the case he’d assisted with, and while they caught their culprit, Hakuba was running on so very little sleep, and wasn’t even sure he’d packed everything he’d needed to. It made for anxious travel, and he still needed to get Watson through security…

…he hadn’t even gotten the chance to say goodbye to Kuroba. But, hopefully, there would be time to call him and get a cup of coffee before boarding. 

After a long, brisk walk, he got in line to check his luggage, double-checking that everything was properly tagged, then sent a text to Baaya to let him know that he was on schedule – if just barely. By the time the suitcase was away, Hakuba was anxious to get in the queue for security, keeping his bag and Watson’s carrier as close to him as he possibly could.

It took longer than it should have been with the additional clearance for his companion, and getting coffee with bird in tow wasn’t as easy as he’d hoped, but finally, finally, he found himself with just a few minutes to spare and took out his phone to make that call to one Kuroba Kaito, hoping that he would answer.