Tag Archives: soapbox

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I love Eisuke I’m sorry

“You, my dear, are perfectly fine, and more than welcome to enjoy whatever character you choose. This is a personal thing and a matter of preference; no one can say that you are wrong for doing so. 

"It’s sometimes difficult to pinpoint why we are drawn to certain people or fictional characters… perhaps we feel a special connection to them because we relate to them, or share certain traits. Perhaps we aspire to be more like them. Perhaps we wish we knew them. It could also be that their particular characteristics or story arc presents information in a way that is somehow appealing to you.

"Literature, in all forms, is so successful in human nature because we are drawn to stories… to learning, understanding, feeling, and changing as characters do – or don’t. Studies have shown that our brains still produce certain chemicals as we vicariously live through these experiences. 

"Even though we are not the ones who are there for the events, we can still feel the heartache, still fall in love, still be afraid, angry, relieved… the emotions are very real, and it’s through these mental exercises that, when exposed to a wealth of different material, we can become better prepared to handle what life pushes our way. 

"You do not need to feel pathetic, or like garbage, or any such ridiculous notion because you have found a character that you feel so strongly about. True, expressions of such joy are best when kept appropriate – and by that I mean shared with like-minded people and friends in situations at times when that sort of thing is topical –  but they are not, in and of themselves, in any way related to your worth as a human being.

"In fact, one could argue that your attention for such a character says something about being open-minded… Appreciation for things that are not readily accepted or determined of worth, but you have found something there that appeals to you. You’ve looked into his character, his role in the series, the things that he does, his own strengths, talents, skills… things that are more subtle, so easily overlooked in a series that is, quite honestly, an open ocean of one-shot characters, dotted with a handful of recurring, all surrounded by a veritable yacht containing the massive main cast…

"Sometimes it’s the characters that aren’t as popular that are the real treasures. The small details that make up the atmosphere that we know and love. Any fan of Detective Conan ought to be aware that Occam’s Razor is not usually the answer… and people that we didn’t give any thought to before may indeed be much more important than they were presented to be. 

"Regardless if his ultimate fate, whatever that may be, it’s important to give thought to the underrepresented characters… they support the main characters, add richness to the world, and are, with just a little effort, the main characters of their own stories. This is one thing that Aoyama-san does very well, I believe… and likely the primary reason why the fan base is so strong. The characters are interesting. There’s a wealth of things that can be expanded upon, theorized, worked through… 

"Ah, I’m rambling excessively, now… but in the end, I support your passion for this particular character. I love that he means so much to you, that you have become an advocate and a champion in his name, and that you continue to enjoy what was created for that purpose. I’m certain that the author would be pleased that you’re so taken with him. I know that I would be. 

"Do not apologize for the things that you love. Embrace it. Enjoy it. Let it inspire you to continue to create, thus inspiring others. Let it move you, draw out your feelings, and experience different avenues of life in safe and productive ways.”

“After all, isn’t that what art is all about?”

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hankuba you’re smart tell me how to prevent a hangover

“Aside from knowing your limits in terms of the quantity of alcohol over a specific length of time – ie, pacing yourself – the most important thing to do is to dilute the potency of said alcohol in your system. This can be easily done by keeping in mind the following guidelines:

  • Don’t drink on an empty stomach
    • Eating before and while drinking not only decreases the rate at which your body absorbs the alcohol, but acts as a natural pacer to slow your alcohol consumption. 
    • Carbohydrates, dairy, and proteins are all fantastic choices and for different reasons, but watch the sodium levels in your snacks – the more salt you eat, the more you’re likely to drink! 
    • I assume that this is the reason why pretzels are a popular go-to in American bars, especially, as the dry, salty snack drives patrons to buy more and more alcohol in an attempt to sate the thirst… And why, conversely, British pubs have food that, while not necessarily healthy, at least offers delicious choices along the lines of of shepherd’s pie or fish and chips, making us more inclined to eat real meals with our drinking. Hmm. Anyway… along those same lines…
  • Stay Hydrated
    • It’s commonly said that dehydration is the number one cause for a hangover, so it’s very important that you drink plenty of water throughout the day before hand, during your alcoholic adventures, and afterward. I typically keep water bottles close at hand to alternate between sips or shots, depending on what I’m drinking. 
    • Drink a full glass when you’re finished and before you go to bed
    • Drink in the morning, as soon as you wake up. Having a glass or bottle of water next to your bed is a good idea for this reason. You’ll avoid a lot of problems this way. 
  • Sleep It Off
    • Your body needs time to metabolize the alcohol in your system, so it’s important to allow yourself time to rest. Often times, if I’ve gone on a bender, I’ll really have no choice but to take a couple of aspirin and go back to bed. 

"There are things that you can to do minimize the effects of a hangover, as well, but the best thing to do is to try to prevent it if you can.”

“Good luck!”

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what does hakuba think about whales

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“I think that whales, and indeed all cetaceans, are largely misunderstood creatures… Beautiful, powerful, and immensely intelligent, the whale is one of the most incredible things alive on our planet today. Watching their family groups, social circles, distinct speech patterns per tribes, the emotions that they express, well, it’s no wonder that more and more countries are adopting a policy of non-human person in regards to their protection. 

"There have been documented cases of whales being caught in fishing nets and so on, who despite being panicked, were very still when the rescuers came to get them out. And once free, they very gently went to each person to thank them with a little head bump, acknowledging their assistance. 

"Dolphins, one of the smaller cetaceans, have been known to assist lost divers and other species, as well; allowing them to temporarily join their pods and bringing them back to safety. 

"There’s still so much that we don’t know about these fantastic animals, but unfortunately, many of them are endangered and populations are dwindling due to our misunderstanding of the habitat in which they live and the complicated psychology that they possess. Orcas, for example, have been captured and kept in holding tanks at theme parks that are far too small for them to live healthy, happy lives, and go through so much suffering just for human entertainment. It’s heart-breaking. 

"I hope that as awareness of the unique attributes of the cetaceans spreads that we will all be more conscientious of our actions and will make proactive changes in our habits so that we can peacefully coexist, even thrive together, in this world.”

I still think they’re the scariest things in the world.

“Oh my dear, sweet, munneko-chan… you are objectively wrong, but I will let it slide tonight as you adopted one of the Salish Sea Orcas as your own this past summer." 

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Hakuba eats a Hamburger (in theory)

Lain (drawing Hakuba): XDDDD
and Hakuba is so skinny!!!
Gab: HE IS. I LOVE HOW YOU DREW HIM
since his body is clearly a larger frame
and he HAS muscles
he just
NEEDS TO FREAKING EAT 
Hakuba: I DO EAT.
Lain: NO YOU DON’T
Hakuba: YES I DO >:|
Hakuba: I HAVE SCONES AND THINGS WITH MY TEA
Gab: LOL
hakuba no 
bad
eat this hamburger hakuba
Hakuba: ew 🙁
Lain: just eat it!~
Hakuba: no, that’s disgusting. the cheese isn’t even /real/ and what is this wilty sad excuse for lettuce? god it’s probably iceberg there’s no nutritional value in it whatsoever
Hakuba: and this beef is probably not even 100% beef 
Hakuba: it’s a thin and floppy piece of ground and compressed cardboard
Hakuba: held tenuously together with grease from god knows what 
Hakuba: this bun is a soggy mess of bleached, processed carbohydrates …
Lain: are you seriously dissecting a hamburger?!
Hakuba: if I eat this, I will be ill… if not from the food itself, but from the knowledge that I let something so horrid into my body… it will make me /fat/, not healthy 
Gab: he really is 
Lain: JUST EAT THE DAMN THING!!
Gab: I can see him with like
tweezers
pulling it apart
wearing gloves
goggles
little scalpel
Hei, Kai: *this wtf look*
Hakuba: do you see how much oil is leaking from this so-called protein?
Conan: *mouth full of hamburger* eh?
Hakuba: I’ve nothing against the concept of a hamburger, but honestly, if you’re going to do it, you ought to do it /right/… 
Hakuba: it’s not that difficult to purchase quality ingredients and make it yourself
Hakuba: let’s go to the local butcher
Conan: *swallows* o_o 
Gab: well that just happened
Lain: WOW
*facepalm*
well at least he going to eat
hopefully
Gab: yeah once he goes to the market and buys all of the things
goes and makes fancy hamburgers for everyone
angus beef and romaine lettuce
sharp cheddar and colby jack cheese
geez
he’s like: :V now we can eat
Lain: NOT complaining! At all!~~
Gab: LOL
Conan: well that took like 4 hours so I guess I’m hungry again
Lain: XDDDD
by

moonlightmajutsushi:

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“…They’re classmates. And I know every one of them by name. Why should I worry about getting chocolate from them? I wasn’t the only one, so I don’t see any real reason to get suspicious of getting something sweet.”

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“I’d have thought that everyone behaving very much out of the ordinary would have struck you as odd, Kuroba-kun… after all, this was something that was clearly pre-planned that you weren’t involved in. Does this happen often to you? You seem the sort to need to be abreast of every new development and the center of attention for every event.

"Regardless, I’ll end your suffering now. February 14th, the day that the girls (and a handful of boys) brought chocolate is known as Valentine’s Day. In the Western world, this is the day when people of all ages celebrate their relationships with others… It’s typically reserved for romantic and/or intimate love, but many choose to likewise show appreciation for their friends and family members, as well. In many ways, it’s similar to how the Japanese celebrate Christmas – as a holiday for couples and the hopeful lovers.”

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“But while anyone can give a Valentine gift (flowers, cards, chocolates, stuffed animals, etc) to anyone else in the west, the custom in Japan (and some other Asian countries) is for the girls to give tribute to the person that they like in hopes that their love will be accepted and returned on White Day – March 14th. This is usually in the form of a gift of some sort… white chocolate, cookies, and marshmallows are popular choices among students, jewelry, white lingerie, and so on for adults. 

"So you see, for the romantic, Valentine’s Day is the question – will you please be mine? – and White Day is the answer – yes or no respectively, with appropriate gift or horribly crushing silence. 

"That said, like Valentine’s Day elsewhere, it is not strictly for lovers, particularly in modern day. "Courtesy chocolate” can be given to anyone, and is common among friends, colleagues, associates, etcetera.“

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"You’ve now been informed about Valentine’s Day, Kuroba-kun, and the subsequent implications therein. I hope that you take it to heart; it’s not something that should be treated so lightly. After all, it’s likely that many of the chocolates that you were given were hand-made by those lovely young ladies, and if they never received anything from you on White Day, well… I’m certain you can guess what that means.”

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When you RP with people and their posts are like fucking Shakespeare and yours are basically I CAN COUNT TO POTATO

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“Oh come on, now. In terms of collaborative writing, we’re all within the realm of potatoes, as each thread is only as the average of the partnership. Besides, it’s not as though Shakespeare was any good, anyway… 

"If anything, a ‘potato person’ comparing someone else to Shakespeare is very likely an insult at best. As if to say, ‘you’re good only because you’re famous, not because I understand any part of what you were trying to do. I also don’t know enough about writing to realize that your satire is brilliant despite the overly pretentious and flowery purple prose. I believe that you have skill not because I’m able to recognize said skill, but because I have been informed by popular media that such a skill exists, thusly invalidating my compliment to begin with.’

"So you see, my fellow writers, do not be afraid to be a sparse and straight forward potato-counting journalist, and do not fear that your roleplaying partner is somehow more ‘quality’ than you simply because they have more followers, write longer posts, or confuse you with their literary nonsense that falls flat but seems impressive because of fancy window-dressing…

"The point of the matter is, poorly defined sonnets of pointless tragedy is not necessarily something we should be striving for… in essence, I would rather have the potato, which is far easier to stomach in any sense of the word.”

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littledetective:

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   ”Oi, not you, too!” Everyone’s lost their damn minds.

“I’m just saying that while there isn’t enough evidence to prove their existence, there also isn’t enough to disprove it, either. Science is constantly making new discoveries, changing the rules on this, that, and the other thing… things that were thought to be fact becoming untrue when new details come to light, things that were thought to be false turning out to legitimately be the case…

"As a detective, we must always be seeking the truth with an open mind, otherwise our deductions will be biased. Surely, you haven’t forgotten that lesson from Holmes, have you~?

"Sometimes, Occam’s Razor really is the answer.”

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Footnotes – Dorian Gray

From this post: 

“…are you simply content to remain as a mere portrait on Mr. Dorian’s wall~?”

‘The Picture of Dorian Gray’ is a novel from 1891 in which a young gentleman has his portrait painted by an artist, and is so in love with his own handsomeness that he sells his soul to remain young and attractive forever… embarking on a life of hedonism. But as he gives in to his vices, the portrait in his home reflects who he truly is… aging, twisting, becoming nothing more than a disgusting and corrupted version of himself.

By Hakubby calling Cleanba ‘the portrait on Mr. Dorian’s Wall,’ he’s saying that Cleanba must be a miserable person bearing the scars of sin without having experienced life at all.

…of course, in doing so, he’s admitting that he, himself, is far too addicted to his own vices.

Perhaps more interesting, it seems that Hakubby is so thoroughly invested in his hedonistic lifestyle that he is intent on corrupting his counterpart. Is it because he truly believes that Cleanba would benefit from experiencing more of life? Or is he envious of his other self for not being tainted with sin, unlike himself?

Hmmm~! 

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britishhsdetectivehakuba reblogged your post and added:

The kiss was over almost as fast as it had been done. Hakuba had been nervous, and a little ill at the thought, but the barely-there press of lips, which he had washed, was safe enough. Though he may have to wash his own later, just in case. Disinfectant didn’t get rid of everything, and he wasn’t sure if this Hakuba kept himself as clean as he did. If he kissed other – the thought making his stomach churn – or what he brought to his mouth.

He shifted a little as he felt the others gaze on him, and he couldn’t help but feel like a bug under a magnifying glass. The thought made him more nervous then he already was, and extremely uncomfortable. It wasn’t like he’d exactly wanted to do this, but he had made it a point in his life, never to back down from a challenge, and so here he was; facing his other self in a situation that was not exactly pleasant. 

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Hakuba scoffed at the thought of being compared to Kaitou KID, he was no thief. He followed the law to a T, and worked for them. There was no way he would ever steal anything, let alone repeatedly. The thought angered him, though he pushed it back down. A flush rose up on his cheeks as the detective continued to to talk, and he couldn’t help but feel insulted.

like the other was making fun of him.

“No one has ‘taught’ me how to kiss. I find the very idea of it, disgusting. As for my name my name is Hakuba Saguru.” His words had a bit of bite to them, still feeling the prick of the tease earlier.

“Hakuba Saguru?” He replied, tone dripping with incredulity as he tilted his head to the other side. “My dear boy, you could not possibly be the Hakuba Saguru, for any Hakuba Saguru worth anything knows the finer art of kissing. Any idea to the contrary is preposterous." 

Hakuba shook his head, hands folding behind his back which aided his posturing – tall, broad-shouldered, confident – and began, again, to pace around the other in amusement. 

"You see,” the more vocal half-brit began, stepping onto the metaphorical soapbox. “There are an estimated 157 different kisses that one can give, each with their own meaning and intent. Without the emotion behind it, you can hardly call it a kiss at all; simply physical contact between two parts of the body. No, no, my young friend, in order for it to be a kiss, you MUST have feeling, which you have unfortunately fallen short of.”

He spun on his heel in almost military fashion and stood at attention, eyes narrowed as he surveyed his audience, brows raising. “‘Oh, but wait,’ you might say. ‘My kiss conveyed reluctance and lack of desire, which is a valid emotion and motive in and of itself, therefore making it a valid kiss’ – and if that was your intent, then I suppose you have succeeded… but in doing so have created a horrendous crime.”

“Kissing is a way to express something to another person… why, therefor, would you choose to express such a negative and unfavorable emotion upon another person? Why would you, in the face of such an opportunity, willingly defer to the idea that it is acceptable to give anything less than your best in good spirit and admiration for this other, living, breathing, feeling being? Have you no heart at all, my dark shadow?”

“Who has wronged you in such a way to make you feel as though you’ve no alternative but to bruise my already broken heart with such a paltry offering? I ask you; was it simply an misinformed mistake? Shall I grant you the opportunity to make amends, set this wrong right, absolve you of your crime and send us both on our ways as better people?”

After a moment to finally take a breath, he offered a pleading glance and an open palm. “Please, you must tell me. Shall it be so?”

by

britishhsdetectivehakuba:

Dear Hakuba Saguru-

Enclosed is one case (20 boxes, 100 pieces per) of what I find to be one of the most useful, but perhaps least appreciated, pieces of investigative equipment in my arsenal. These gloves (one use) are powder-free so that they don’t leave gritty residue on your hands or evidence. They’re also textured, which is useful for handling objects, using tools (in the lab, especially), and navigating particularly messy crime scenes. 

You’ll also notice that they are black. I typically use these gloves during the photography portion of an investigation. They won’t stain with whatever you happen to come in contact with and offer a helpful contrast to make use of a size/reference comparison. Some of my colleagues find them to be a little intimidating, which is only an added bonus. It’s simply not as distracting as the white gloves spotted with blood and dirt.

Finally, of course, they are said to meet or exceed the ASTM criterion, so they are quite safe and should gently protect your hands quite nicely. 

Good luck in your endeavors, and please have a wonderful and productive birthday on my behalf.

Respectfully yours,

S. J. Hakuba

————————————————————-

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Hakuba chuckled softly to himself as he read of the note, eyes flicking back towards the box of gloves every once in a while. Once he finished with the car he placed it down and gently lifted the box into his lap, and ran a finger over it. Yes, this was a very practical gift indeed, and he couldn’t help the soft smirk that graced his lips. He did very much enjoy this gift, he would have to send a thank later to his other self.