akaikujixyaku:

…..

Nobody asked for your sass, Gurururururu.

“Hey, now, only one person gets to call me ‘Guru’ and you are not them. Even though I would… probably allow you to, if you asked nicely and pressured me into it." 

”…Anyway, I’m not going to ‘tap’ anything until I know what’s going on. As it turns out, each Kaitou Kid is very different from each other – yet also remarkably similar. They all have the same basic goals and personalities fresh out of the box, perhaps… but they’ve all had their own individualized character development, as well… not to mention mutliverse headcanons, variations in source material and interpretation, mun preferences…“

"Which all boils down to it being my responsibility as (one of) the only Hakubas to chase down and befriend each one of them! Utilizing my superior detective and people skills, I’m determined to get to know all of the Kaitous that come my way so that I can fulfill their every Hakuba need. Some aren’t interested in relationships at all – friend or otherwise. Others just like the chase. It’s possible that some will want something casual, or to use me as so many others have in the past. Perhaps, eventually, one of them will genuinely fall for me. It’s a mixed bag; you never know what will happen! But that doesn’t stop me from trying. Each one is an individual and must be treated with respect and care, to get to know their own, unique interests and preferences over time…”

“I just hope that they all (eventually) believe that I am there for them in whatever capacity that they need. I’ve come to understand Kaitou Kid much better in my months of near-stalker levels of observations, database entries, researching, analyzing…  and I want to protect and help them, to… let them know that I get it. The loneliness, the sleepless nights, all of the work that they put into heists when they should really be living their lives… If something matters to them that much, enough that they’re willing to risk their lives (mortality, physically, emotionally, socially) for it… who am I to stand in their way?”

“After all, it’s not as though life is really black and white. Contrary to what most people think of me, I am a dedicated student in the philosophy of Humanism. It is much more important to me to discover the reasons why a person does such and such a thing… motivations and intent must certainly play a factor in any sort of judgment. It’s why I’m always sure to talk to the culprit throughout the investigation – so that I can understand what would drive a person to commit such a crime. Often, they were only attempting to fulfill a need that they did not think they otherwise could without resorting to desperation. Unfortunate, that, as much heartache would be spared if only a little more understanding were given before such desperation were reached…" 

"But I’ll be going into that more in-depth when I finally answer your question about the great Sherlock Holmes, Emi-kun.”

“In the end, it all boils down to a very large responsibility. Managing a harem of Kaitou Kids is hard work, but it’s a job that I’m very well-suited for. After all, I’m one hell of a detective.”