“‘m not his boyfriend, I dun even like the half-brit.”
Yeah, yeah, Honey, I know the official story, just ignore me if it makes you feel better~
“HE’S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!!!”
“Hattori just wishes he were my boyfriend, but clearly he is far too savage for me to even consider dating. It would be uncouth. I shudder to think what it would be like to take him anywhere within polite society…”
“Hattori, I believe that the lady and I were having a conversation…”
“AND Kaitou-san! STOP JACKING THIS THREAD. I was looking at EMI-KUN, GOD!”
“Ahem. You were saying, Emi-kun~?”
“I knew it!”
Camie: ohhh, hakuba-senpai hattori-kun considers ya a friend~
Camie: so cute~
Hattori: I NEVER SAID THA’ !
Hattori: Hakuba, ignore Camie, I never said tha’!
Hakuba: So we’re… not friends?
Hattori: … -opens mouth, closes it, opens, closes it-
Hakuba: ah….
Hattori: << when have we ever actually behaved like friends?
Kari: all the time.
Kari: all of it Hattori.
Hakuba: *sniff*
Vodka: Remember, only friends get in the tea club. -HAS THE TEABOX. STRAIGHTFACED.-
Hakuba: Ah, Vodka-kun!
Hattori: I dun even drink tea…
Camie: huh what what hakuba is sick (still sick) wat huh?
Hakuba: No, just… sad~
Camie: *frowns* thats hardly better…
Hattori: Yere pullin' my leg… aren't ya, this is some sorta joke…
Vodka: hello!
Hakuba: I just wanted to be friends… /colleagues/…
Hakuba: Vodka-kun! You're my friend, are you not?
Camie: I'm more than a friend right senpai, I'm a kohai~
Hattori: Since when!?
Gab: this feels like the beginning of a musical number
Kari: dfhdbafhsdbfsdbhsd
Kari: yes.
Hakuba: Since when? …Since when!
Since… the…
Moment I first met you,
I knew I had to get you!
Get you to accept me in your life!
And if you could not conceive of it
Perhaps I'd have to conceal a bit
Of the fact that I want in your liiiiife~
Camie: Oh dear god hakuba is singing…
Hattori: …………………..
Camie: I'll get the bat..
Hakuba: You see we share so many elements,
Of what makes you and I~
From our fathers to our habits,
and that's the reason whyyyy—
Hattori: -kisses Hakuba to shut him up because NO-
Kari: OH MY GOD HATTORI THAT IS NOT SDFBJFSDFKSD
camychan: wh…
camychan: WELLTHEN
Hakuba: *IS KISSED* O___O
Hattori: No. No singing.
Kari: I can;t even, I have lost control.
Camie: *STARES*
Hakuba: Ah…
Hattori: -stern look-
Hakuba: I thought it was a rather good number…
Hakuba: Very… Music Man-esque.
Hattori: I will kiss you again.
Camie: Senpai you are…way to calm about all of this…uhm, are you okay?
Kari: Hattori. No. Stop.
Vodka: I'm your friend, yes!
Hakuba: *blushes…. retreats to hide behind Vodka*
Camie: I dont think senpai is okay………….
Hattori: Tha's wha' I thought.
Vodka: oh dear.
Send ♕ for a CHILDHOOD headcanon.
Hakuba was always… alone. He has no siblings and his parents are both working professionals, so for the most part, he grew up playing by himself. The mansion in London is very large and the property is vast, part of which runs into a nature preserve. There was a lot of area for little Saguru to explore and he did. His only companions were the dogs, his toy dragons, and Baaya (when she could keep up with him). He never really figured out how to be friends with people, not really. He had… associates, acquaintances, co-workers.
It’s only now, most of the way through high school, that he’s sort of figuring it out. And even then, he’s incredibly awkward about it.
Send ␛ for an ANGER headcanon.
Nothing makes Hakuba lose his temper faster than… other people losing their temper. He can handle it, typically, if it’s a culprit or someone that he knows is unreasonable, though he reacts harshly. His cold, harsh verbal lashings are an attempt to put people into their place and get them to calm down. And shut up. If they persist, his anxiety gets worse and… yeah.
Send ღ for a LOVE/SEXUALITY headcanon.
Hakuba is so completely attracted to competence. It doesn’t matter if it’s being an awesome detective (though that has other benefits), being a super high school level florist, fantastic at chess, or amazing at surfing… if you have a passion and you are highly skilled in it, Hakuba will be oh so enchanted by it. It’s just… you really do have to be competent. If you’re faking it, poor at it, or more passionate about being famous for it than the work itself (there’s definitely something to be said about professional humility), he will just be annoyed. Being proud of something and sharing your enthusiasm is MUCH different than bragging and beating a dead horse about supposed accomplishments.
Send † for a RELIGION headcanon.
As mentioned on my headcanon page, Hakuba’s technically Catholic, though he hasn’t attended any meetings of any kind for a very long, long time. He does still read the bible, though, and many other religious texts. Although he won’t mention it (to anyone), he’s working through his beliefs little by little, studying what he comes across in his work and travel. And while he identifies as Christian, he feels strongly, now, that exclusivity doesn’t actually fit within his own headcanon of Christ’s teachings.
% – Angst
Þ – Mystery
“I’m sorry, Hattori-san… the hospital just called… It appears that Kudou-san is… dead.” He let out a sigh, disguising the pain with a carefully neutral expression. “He didn’t make it through surgery. All that’s left, now, is to find out just what happened after he left the meeting last night.”
(Oh snap! Harsh! But not at all uncalled for. Hakuba does put off an air of superiority to the extreme at times… especially around people he doesn’t particularly care for.)
“Ya know, ya were the first ta catch my attention.” Hattori raised an eyebrow. “I was only wonderin’ why ya were here.” He crossed his arms.
"Ah, it would seem that, perhaps, we’ve managed to traipse across the same territory once again. My apologies, Hattori-san; I’ll do my best to keep my investigations way from your precious okonomiyaki."
“I’m so sorry yere highness.” Hattori let out a snort. “Next time I’ll be sure ta give ya a full page review of all my actions, while that victims bleeds ta death on tha floor.”
"Yeah, because my day is spent just thinkin’ up ways to waste yere time. It’s the highlight of my life.”
“Well then, Hattori-san… do you have a reason for catching my attention, or not? If you’re quite finished playing around, I’d like to get back to work, thank you very much.”
“Hahaha… Yere really a bundle of laughs and giggles, aren’t ya?” Hattori rolled his eyes. “Wouldn’t ya like ta know. And if it was a choice between goin’ outside ta look in tha window and the victim dyin’ and breakin’ down the door and ruinin’ evidence but savin’ tha victim, I’d choose tha latter.”
“So I’ve heard, Hattori-san. Still, there are more ways to open a door, and a little forewarning would have been appreciated."
"Regardless, I’m pleasantly surprised to see you, despite your callous tone and irritable demeanor. Is there something that I can help you with, or are you just attempting to waste my time?”
