The Meaning of the Monocle

smokebombsandmirrors:

As he watched Hakuba try all of the dishes the small bubble of hope came back and he wanted so badly to squash it. He took a tiny hesitant step towards him. A long sigh escaped him. That fear hadn’t quiet gone away and that frustrated him to no end.
“Hakuba …” He whispered quietly. “Stop.”

Swallowing hard, Hakuba set Kaito’s wine glass back on the table and looked over at him, frown fixed on his face. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, reaching for his napkin again. Leaning back in his chair, shoulders slumping, brows knit. 

“I really didn’t mean to frighten you…" 

God, he wanted to throw up.

The Meaning of the Monocle

smokebombsandmirrors:

Kaito watched him humiliated, terrified. His stomach rolled dangerously and he launched up and out of his seat. The shaking had moved from his up his arms. Memories from that night flooded back to him all at once. Wrapping arms around his waist he watched the other. His breath came in short quick pants and he felt his vision fade. All thoughts on his escape route vanished.

Please let this be a lie. Don’t …

He bowed his head and struggled with staying right where he was. His imagination was running rapidly around and around. 

“Kuroba-kun…?” Hakuba watched him helplessly, turned in his seat to look at him, half wanting to run to him, half wanting to crawl under the table and die. “There’s no poison, I swear to God. I would never– not to you, not to anyone else, oh God… no, I… I… please forgive me, I…" 

The detective grimaced, turning back to the table to bury his face in his hands. He wanted to eat and show Kaito that things were fine, but as he reached a hand for the fork to force himself, the lump in his throat just pressed harder. "It’s fine, Kuroba-kun, I swear it.” He forced it down, then reached for the soup that was still there, getting a spoonful to eat, as well.

He reached for his wine glass, hesitated, then went for Kaito’s, which he took a long sip from, feeling absolutely miserable. What a mess their dinner had turned into. 

The Meaning of the Monocle

smokebombsandmirrors:

“That’s fine. I didn’t know that it was a seven hundred dollar bottle of wine. Thank you.” He said and waited before giving the alcohol a swirl not to mix the flavor just to simply do something with his hands. 

He took a sip and welcome the dry heat in the back of his throat. Setting the glass back down he took up the fork and knife again. He was finally starting to relax properly. Glancing over to Hakuba he noticed the other had barely touched his food. He blinked a few times before he glanced down at his food. He swallowed thickly and felt his hands start shaking so bad he places the fork and knife down with a gentle clatter.

“What’s wrong? You’re not eating?” He said quietly and tried to keep the chill out of his voice and expression.

Hakuba blinked, fingers on the stem of his wine glass, glancing down at his food with sudden embarrassment. “Ah, I…” he stammered, wondering exactly how to explain it, turning to offer a pained and apologetic look to Kaito. “Apologies, I just can’t…”

Then he paused. What was wrong with Kuroba? Shaking, fear, the… subtle tremors, what happened? Was it something in the food? The detective looked down at Kaito’s plate, then back to Kaito, alarmed, and then it clicked. 

“Oh! Oh, God! No! Kuroba-kun!” He laughed,bringing a hand to run through his hair anxiously, beside himself and horrified. “God, no I just can’t eat when I’m anxious! I’m so bloody terrified I haven’t been able to – just the water! But it’s…! God!”

Hakuba took a deep breath and hurriedly picked up his fork, with food on it, and forced it down, ears almost scarlet. As he chewed, he wondered if he should feel insulted, bringing up a napkin to cover his mouth as he swallowed, stomach twisting again. “…see?”

The Meaning of the Monocle

smokebombsandmirrors:

“I’m going to have to talk to your chef. The food is amazing.” He smiled truly. 

He reached for his water glass and noticed his wine bottle unopened. He glanced at the other bottle and shrugged. He couldn’t really take offense after all it was a seven hundred dollar bottle. That price still made him squirm. He finished the water, took up the wine glass and gestured to the open bottle. “Do you mind?”

“I’m so glad to hear that, and… oh! Ah, not at all…”  Hakuba set his own glass down and immediately went for the wine bottle, pouring the exact standard amount into his glass– not a little more or a little less, then set it aside and went for the water pitcher.

“God, I’m sorry. I’m all out of sorts. I hope that you don’t mind that I opted to go with this other bottle… I’d of course be more than willing to drink yours with you, but…”  He laughed uneasily, setting the water pitcher down afterward.

“…I always err on the side of caution, you know.”

The Meaning of the Monocle

smokebombsandmirrors:

So much for being grounded. Kaito paused in his step and swallowed. “It’s not …. I mean … Can we both admit that this is different and awkward for both of us?” He winced.

Now that the elephant was acknowledge he could breathe a bit better. He walked over to him and rested a hand on the back of Hakuba’s shoulder before taking his seat. He let his finger slide over the material softly before picking up his utensils again and began to eat with vigor. 

“Yes, I believe…”  Hakuba’s voice trailed as Kaito touched his shoulder, gaze following the movement of the other’s hand, even after Kaito went back to eating. “Ah… yes, it’s a little… yes, what you said, precisely.”

He wasn’t usually this bad with communication, even with Kaito. At least, during school he’d managed to keep his composure for the most part, even when frustrated. And during heists, well, that was another matter all together. But here, in this intimate setting, just like the last… It was the one-on-one moments, with no one prying, that were truly the most challenging, and Hakuba was failing to live up to his own expectations.

“I hope the meal is to your liking.” His voice, timid, announced the turn of his head back to his own setting as he reached for the wine he’d poured. 

The Meaning of the Monocle

smokebombsandmirrors:

That said servant was one he nearly ran into. Embarrassed far beyond he could take he blushed and shook his head. Quickly he moved down the hall and to the guest bathroom, once there he practically showered again. Face dripping the water he struggled to settle his stomach. This wasn’t like him at all. The sickness that came from nerves, the embarrassment at his own stupidity. He was usually so much better than this.  Always one step ahead. What is Hakuba? Did he just not care to put forth an effort.

His hand slid into his hair and he blushed . No, it was because it WAS Hakuba that made everything important. When had the approval of one person mean so much to him? When did Hakuba start to mean so much to him? Exhaling he started to bring a hand to his mouth and paused he was trembling. Glaring he moved it to his churning stomach. He was so nervous and scared and  …. so happy.

Leaned back against the counter he slicked his hair get with the remaining water and took several deep breaths before settling on the fact that he was going to figure this out soon.

Grounded again he walked back to the dinning room.

By the time Kaito returned, another bottle of wine had been brought out. Hakuba really wasn’t certain if they were going to be able to enjoy Kaito’s, so it was better to be safe than sorry. He poured some into his own glass, then sighed, drumming fingers against the table. The moment he heard Kaito’s approaching footsteps, he froze and slowly turned to look at him again, nervous smile plastered on his face.

“Oh, ah… welcome back, Kuroba-kun… I trust you found your way?” A pause. “I’m… so terribly sorry if I’ve mucked everything up. Again. I have to admit that I can be quite awkward at times… ah…”

The Meaning of the Monocle

smokebombsandmirrors:

“That’s nice.” he mumble then froze. Half way through a gulp he choked and nearly spewed. “WAIT!! Did you just say seven hundred dollars?”

He paled. Holy crap, Jii. Why did he have that mixed in with the others? Were all the wine that expensive? Well at least he didn’t have to worry any more about it being insulting. Hands shaking he set down the silverware and stood with an easy smile.
“You mind if I use your restroom? No, okay.” He asked then answered for himself and quickly walked out of the room.

Blink blink.

“Ah…” Hakuba stood up to follow, but with Kaito already hurrying on his way, he sat back and frowned. What had he said? Was it the price? Was it Jii? Was it… what was it???

He looked at his food, picture perfect in its presentation and tilted his head, reaching for his fork. There was no desire to eat, but he pushed it around on his plate to burn at least a little bit of his anxious energy. 

Out in the hallway, a servant asked if Kaito needed anything, but it seemed clear that he knew where he was going already.

The Meaning of the Monocle

smokebombsandmirrors:

Kaito tilted his head in confusion. That was ….  ”Expensive? How much are we talking about?”

“Ah…”  So Kaito didn’t know. Hakuba licked his lips as he attempted to come up with a way to express the amount without insulting him. He had no idea how Kaito would take it if it were too much, but then, he knew several people who thought bottles of wine like this were cheap. "It runs around seven hundred dollars, actually. Now, I understand relevance and perspective, but the bottle I’m suggesting is only thirty-seven.“

Bloody Moriarty

thelotusflowerfiles:

The only place Shinichi could think was Periot and that embarrassed him. Here he was supposed to know Beika, did know Beika, and the only place he could think of was a tiny cafe some odd blocks away from his home. He shook his head and unscrewed the cap off a water bottle to take a long gulp of water. His work out had just ended and he was just waiting, trying to kill some time between the actives cases he was working on and the series of colds that Meguire-keibu had given him.

‘Something to keep you from hunting the streets.’  He grimaced. He did not hunt Beika’s streets NOR prowl as Shiratori-keibu put it. It wasn’t his fault that he stummbled, literally sometimes, across murders or in the scary sense fell right into his lap. That was a interesting night to say the least.

Shinichi sighed and pulled the thin shirt over his head to mop the sweet off his face. He still hadn’t replied to Hakuba mostly because he was still debating on taking the fellow detective to Periot or scrambling in the last minute to find a suitable replacement. A cafe in Japan? After living in Europe? Fat chance he was going to be able to find something that good.

SO Periot it was. At least it was a comfortable spot for him.

Shinichi sat in front his laptop again after his shower and reread the email. The message brought up more questions than answers for him. Particularly why his meeting spots would no long exist. He had read, after some digging and a bit of illegal hacking, and heard the rumors about his running with a criminal named Spider. It didn’t go well for either of them. The coroner’s report was pretty clean and straight forward in their findings.

He leaned back in the chair, the tips of his fingers pressed together as his mind raced with the possibilities as to why it had happened. What trigger that reaction from his fellow detective. Not that he didn’t think it wasn’t necessary but ….

He shook his head. Hakuba was his colleague and was asking for his help. What ever happened in his past need to stay there untouched till the other brought it to the surface. Sitting up in his seat again he got to work on his short simple reply.

Hakuba,

I know of a cafe that is pretty close to my home and is something of a neutral spot for me. Periot cafe. This weekend sounds perfect if a case doesn’t crop up during that time. I’ll be looking forward to our up coming meeting.

Kudo.

He reread the message, was satisfied with it and hit send then looked at the time: One AM. He let his head fall and hit the table.

image

Hakuba waited until the morning of his departure before responding, seated in the uncomfortable wooden chair on the covered patio of the Wickham-Hakuba estate.

His tea cooled in the warm morning air, spoon set aside while he tapped out his reply on his phone. Marion watched him from across the table, sun hat shading her face in a solid line while the rest of the setting was dappled with sunlight from the overhanging latticework and ivy. 

Kudou-san,

Excellent. I will give you a call on Saturday morning to confirm plans. Shall we tentatively plan for 15:00:00?

The game had changed. Last names only from Shinichi meant that Hakuba would switch to last and honorific, as opposed to the full names of their previous emails. Did this mean that Kudou thought of him as an equal already, or at least a colleague? Incredible, were that the case…

“Are you sure that you’re able to travel? There’s still time to cancel your flight.” Marion’s voice broke the train of thought, careful to keep her lips in a thin line, not wishing to give away her feelings on the matter, though Hakuba already knew quite well how it was. They played the game of pokerface often, but knew each other far too well to be fooled. 

He didn’t even bother to look up at her, reaching for the delicately rose-covered cup to take a sip. Still too hot. He set it down again. “I expect I’ll be fine, Mum.”

“Yes, of course you’d say that, but your back…”

Hakuba gave a patient sigh and ignored her in favor of rewriting the line he’d just written, easing into a statement that would be a little less formal. 

Let’s tentatively plan for 3 o’clock PM.

Better. It was a little more friendly while still accommodating. But what else to include? How to end it?

“Do you think Miss Twiggy will take to Ekoda well?”

Hakuba finally looked up at that, blinking. “Oh, I think Twig will do splendidly. She’s a sturdy thing.”

So sturdy, in fact, that he wasn’t entirely certain where she was. He glanced over the vast grounds of the estate, squinting to see if he could spot her. Probably herding the ducks again. Like all good corgis, she liked to keep busy. He could relate.

She smiled. “You could always leave her here.”

“No, Mum. Twig stays with me.” He set his phone down to take another sip of tea, which had finally cooled enough to let the flavor of honey through the brew. “We’ll be fine.”

They both sighed, both took a sip of tea, then looked at each other again– she pleading, he irritated. 

“Oh, I wish Baaya were going with you. Just promise me that you’ll stay away from the station?" 

Hakuba rolled his eyes at that. "I’m retired, Mum. I’ve no reason to go to the station except to meet Dad for… whatever I would need to meet him for. I’ll just be taking a holiday.”

It seemed to ease her worries, but only just. “If you say so, but you know how detectives are…” She stopped herself when her son’s expression went cold. “Retired or not, you’re still just as thirsty as a hound, you know! I know you, Saguru James. The moment a case comes up that piques your interest, you’ll be off running regardless of your capacity!”

If it weren’t for the medications, the comment might have pushed Hakuba in all of the wrong direction. As it was, he took another sip of tea, then calmly set it down, ignoring the tremor in his hands. “I’ll stay away from the station, and I’ll come back in one piece.”

Marion let herself relax at that, satisfied. “Good. See that you do, my dear. I’m going to fret from the moment we see you off at the airport until you’re back again.”

“Yes, yes, I know.” Hakuba picked up his phone again to finish the email, hitting send without a second thought. It wouldn’t do to linger, since he was well aware that he was inviting trouble and ignoring his mother’s wishes, right there at the table.

Thank you for your quick response. 

I look forward to seeing you and discussing the aforementioned topic. I’d love to hear of some of your cases, as well.

Sincerely,
– Hakuba S. J.

At Any Cost || themoonlightthief

themoonlightthief:

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The two detectives froze at the whimpering plea, and while Conan steeled himself for what was to come, it only took 1.37 seconds for Hakuba to know, without a doubt, who the voice belonged to. It was Kid. It was Kuroba Kaito. His Kaito. He’d never heard it like that before, though; not in any of the time he’d known him. It was so broken. And it hurt. 

Taking in the scene didn’t help ease that pain, either. Both of them could smell the blood and sensed the fear, felt the tension in the air, but Hakuba recognized something else that Conan had very little experience with, and it twisted his stomach in knots. The odor of sweat and sex, though nearly impossible to describe, stirred with the evidence of torture and brought unbidden flashes to mind. But the blond detective didn’t stop breathing until he saw his moonlight thief. 

Conan leveled his watch, body tense, muscles coiled and ready to spring, but narrowed his eyes at the figure shivering in the light. Was that figure, bent and bleeding, really Kaitou KID? Was that even possible? He stepped forward, listening for his companion’s actions to dictate his own, but stopped when Hakuba staggered forward. He’d expected a calm and cautious approach, soft words and authority, but this… 

It was all wrong. All so wrong. Hakuba couldn’t see KID, all he could see was Kaito. None of his professionalism and training stood a chance against vivid images that overtook him, crashing through all of his protective walls like the raging sea against a crumbling dam. It was far too personal. It hurt too much.

All at once he was drowning, gasping a ragged breath of his own as he dropped the firearm uselessly to the floor. Numbly, his left hand made for his pocket, digging for the watch in a desperate and reflexive effort to salvage his sanity, but the trembling in his limbs was far too violent to even keep adequate hold. Knees giving way to the crushing emotions, Hakuba sank to the ground, face twisted in agony and horror. Kaito, oh god, Kaito, oh god! 

He couldn’t speak. Could barely think. The shadow cast by his own body in the flashlight stretched over Kaito as the sheepdog over a lamb’s battered form, drawing close despite its resemblance to the offending wolf.

It was the perfect contrast; a tormented knight to the shattered joker, and it disturbed Conan to witness it. It also told him far more than he’d anticipated– Hakuba was no stranger to abuse and he probably knew who Kaitou Kid really was… or they were really close despite. There were very few alternative explanations for how quickly the foreign detective had become emotionally compromised.

In a way, it embarrassed him. Hakuba may care for the thief, but they had work to do. How was losing his shit going to help KID? 

“Oi, Hakuba!” Conan barked, voice hard and scowl firm. “Pull yourself together!" 

The harsh reprimand snapped Hakuba back just enough for him to give a strangled cry. "Kaito!” Reaching, half crawling through the bloody patches toward him, tears building and falling in desperation. 

Fortunately, Conan dismissed the slip for a mistake on that foreign tongue, rolling his eyes as he impatiently collected the gun from the floor. Dammit, Hakuba!