“I am interested, yes. Okiya Subaru.” It was tempting and he needed to calm down.
Off to tea it was, then. Down the block, around the corner, just into the area that catered more to business than residential. Poirot Cafe. A familiar area to some, only vaguely for Hakuba. He’d only been there for tea and, once, to deliver mail to Mouri Kogoro. Ugh.
He held the door for Subaru, and smiled. “After you."
That sounds like a good idea, before I really do follow through. May I ask who you are?
“Certainly! My name is Hakuba Saguru, teenage detective. I hope you don’t mind my being so forward; you just looked like you could use a spot of tea and it’s about teatime for me, as well. Interested? There’s a little cafe nearby with the most excellent biscuits – perfect for tea time."
Ma bichette Sonoko-san,
I love you anyway, you silly thing.
A bientôt!
-Saguru
“On the whole, goat-creature, I agree with you… A person’s life ought to be a private thing, and I do respect that. However, there are situations where a detective, such as myself, must step over those boundaries for the greater good.
"Say, for example, that someone were to murder your queen. Would your people be concerned? Would an investigation be launched? A detective in those times could not only uncover the truth, but help to bring closure. We are just as much focused on preventative measures as we are damage control and prosecution.
"A good detective could uncover unseemly motivations from previously trusted staff, allowing the new faction head a chance to tighten security. They could also interrogate neighboring kingdoms to see if the culprit was sent by outside forces. Motivations uncovered, the potential problems can be dealt with properly – with time, discussion, and a clear, level head. Diplomatically.
"And, of course, once the culprit is identified, justice can be dealt, one way or the other… resulting in the aforementioned closure and peace of mind.”
“In all honesty, you’re not that bad. A little annoying at times, but I’ve met people who are a lot worse.”
“I suppose I should be thankful for that.. Forgive me for asking; I should have known better.”
EAT IT UP
YOU SOON-TO-BE CUTE FATTY.
“I must admit that I am very uncomfortable with this."
“Driven insane by baked goods. You know, that’s just crazy enough that I can actually see that happening. I think it’s more likely someone wanted to send you into a sugar coma and make you gain a few pounds. Then you could be the Doughy Detective. I will admit though, that would’ve been a good means of misdirection if someone wanted you distracted.”
“I… shall have to watch out for that, then. Both the distractions, and the induction of sugar comas… Doughy Detective? No, thank you. I keep a strict diet regimen to ensure that I can have my tea just as I like it…"
…
"Do you think that I’m too uptight, Kuroba-kun?"
“I see your point. Cookies in large amounts can be so sinister. What if the gifter was trying to give you diabetes from such a large sugar dose? Or perhaps they think you have a nut allergy and put walnuts in them?”
“Stranger things have happened… I suspect that they wanted to ruin my trim figure somehow, but honestly, how can anyone be expected to eat three hundred cookies on their own…? I suppose they could have known that I would over-analyze the gesture and spend all night running in circles… perhaps that was their sinister intent: to drive me to madness.”
“… That came off harsher than I intended. I was only meaning to tease, since you can’t even accept a gift of cookies without analyzing it like it were a crime scene. I … sorry. I’ll leave you alone.”
“In my defense, there were three hundred of them…."
