wewillstartwiththeridingcrop:

Flicking his gaze up to momentarily glance at the teen as he began to speak in a more hurried and defensive tone, Sherlock smirked to himself. “Oh I don’t doubt that. I am sure you are decent at best as a detective and I will be wasting my time. Still it always helps to check over these sort of things” Sherlock stated dryly. “I am curious to know what sort of expertise you have. Your name appeared very quickly when I imputed part of it in the search bar so there is perhaps hope for you yet.”

The first thing that caught Sherlock’s attention was that his companion appeared to be wearing a deerstalker in the photo. There was no possible way he had chosen to wear that of his own free will. It was hardly fashionable nor was it convenient for investigating. Anyone wearing such a hat was bound to attract the attention of those around them who thought they looked a moron. No, this had to be a deliberate reference to himself. “You’re wearing an ear hat!” Sherlock stated incredulously, his tone containing a hint of surprise. “I was aware you are a fan of mine but I didn’t think you would go as far as to wear such a silly piece of headgear. Even I do not wear it by choice. It started as simply a disguise gone wrong.”

As he read through the article, Sherlock found himself beginning to feel a little irked by the tone in which it was written. The whole thing seemed to imply that he was nothing but a figure which anyone could become a caricature of if they acted and dressed in a certain way. It completely underplayed his intelligence and talent for solving crime by stating that James Hakuba could become his successor and take his place merely because he had an eye for detail and some enthusiasm for solving crime. “Scotland Yard doesn’t need a new favourite detective.” he muttered inaudibly to himself.  Catching sight of Lestrade’s comment about Hakuba being more agreeable than himself, the consulting detective narrowed his eyes. “Agreeable?! I have every right to not have an agreeable personality when everyone around me is so very below me intellectually. It is like being trapped in a room with chickens for an intelligent debate!” He snapped his gaze over to James. “Apparently you would also understand my pain since you are brilliant enough to equal or better me in every way. Then again maybe the fact you are charming means that other people’s thoughtlessness is dulled down to you.” 

“Oh God,” Hakuba groaned, bringing his other hand up to completely bury his face. This was exactly what he didn’t want to have happen. “Please, Mr. Holmes, it’s just the media – you know they’ll do anything to sell a paper. It’s all absolutely ridiculous. Complete poppycock. God, no;  I’m nothing but a whelp, Mr. Holmes!”

He spoke quickly, attempting to get enough of a defense out to stay on Sherlock’s good side, though he was getting the distinct impression that it was already far too late for that.

“Of course you have every right and reason to be upset. It’s certainly not your fault that they’re all so dull and critical when they can’t even tell a hedgehog from a porcupine, let alone even begin to understand your brilliance!" After an unintentional whimper, the young detective pulled his hands down to look at Sherlock, facing him with no disguise of the mortification he felt, cheeks red, ears pink. But at least they were nearly to the building. 

 "And the ear hat… the deerstalker cap, god that was my agent’s idea… I’m so embarrassed."