goddess-of-light-palutena replied to your post: goddess-of-light-palutena said:i …
sherlock homes x sir arthur conan doyle
i care a lot more about sherlock holmes fans than the stories themselves tbh
they have been fucking intense from the get go its extremely fun to learn about at least imo
Case File: send me a ✈ and I will give your character a memory from mines past.
A Taste of the White Widow
There he was: fourteen years old and strung-out on god knows what in a someone’s loft just outside of London proper.
He’d taken the train there and gotten off of a stop under a bridge. The others led him through the poorly maintained tunnel, then out to the surface streets where every house was uniform and tightly packed, six or so sharing walls between them with long, narrow gardens stretched out back. The grass grew unusually high there, but then, that may have also been whatever they were sampling that day. It was dead in the cold February frost either way.
It was difficult to remember how long he’d been there, when he was going to leave, or really, what mattered. The weather was cold and dark out there; the ice covered the walks, and wild cats knocked over rubbish bins and fought with the foxes in the hedge. It didn’t matter. They were warm enough inside.
The heater hummed with the sound of crickets that didn’t exist, and burned what the group assumed were the corpses of spiders that had crawled in, but James Hakuba — he was a smart one — thought that maybe it was dust and debris from the room… stray hair, dead skin cells, that sort of thing.
They liked James. They liked that he was pliable. They liked that he was willing to try just about anything they threw at him, and that made him willing to do almost anything after that. It didn’t hurt that he was cute. The group agreed that he was on the young side, but quite attractive. In fact, some of them really, really liked that his voice was still cracking. It made it all the more interesting when he begged, they said.
Sarah brought him to the flat. She’d slept with him before, she told the others, out under the bleachers about a year ago. She’d given him his first cigarette. His first taste of what being with a woman was like. How much different it was than that dirty old priest.
“So why didn’t he join us then?”
She laughed. “He wanted to find love.”
“Did he find it?”
“Yeah. Can’t you see his broken heart?”
There were seven of them all together in Sarah’s little pack, including Sarah herself. Three boys, three girls. James made eight. They sympathized with the story of the breakup. Offered to let him into their nest with welcome arms. Promised to chase all of those nightmares away. And they did… for a little while.
The boy was young, impressionable, depressed, and rich. Really rich, and so willing. For nearly a month, they persuaded him to play. He fronted pound after pound for food, drink, toys, and so-called ‘natural remedies,’ while they served him so many, many experiences in return. It didn’t take long before he really didn’t know what he was on, or how long he’d been there… hours were lost, clothes missing, bloodied handprints appearing on the wall…
For a solid week somewhere in the thick of it, he didn’t go home or to school. They began their mornings with whatever they had, mostly bread, crisps, and coffee… then brought out the sampling for whatever it was. Cocaine was the easiest for them to get, and they’d all do hit after hit, throwing in another few things here and there. The veterans took turns getting it and various other chemical delights to sell while the others played in that blanket pit upstairs.
Hakuba liked the way they took his tie off with their teeth. How they pulled his clothing off, one button at a time. He loved that they whispered his name in his ear, nice and slow like they were about to climax, themselves. “Ha-ha-Hakuba,” the cried, and it never failed to get him completely riled. They wanted their fresh meat to be treated well so he’d stay. He’d be more compliant if they kept his aggression at bay, used his heartbreak against him.
“We’re so sorry,” the girls crooned as they took turns feeling him up, long nails dragging over his thighs, kissing at his stomach, then lower and lower still. As drunk and high as he was, he had no complaints for anything they did. And they did a lot. The men, too, teasing and touching and replaying so many memories as if they were wild fantasies. A new submissive plaything was something they’d been looking for a long time. It was ideal, to say the least. Get him off first so that he couldn’t compete, then take turns with him. ‘Love’ in all directions. “Let’s just take care of you, first.”
His wallet was their bank account, and they hit it hard. Lost in the haze, he didn’t care. It didn’t hurt nearly as much. Even when he had moments of clarity, enough to cry out John’s name in the dark, they soothed him. So many hands brushing over him, milking him, lips kissing and caressing him. Pouring more drink, getting him to go back to sleep.
Back to sleep, where the dreams came and went like the hours in an endless haze of colors and light. Shadows lurked there. They lurked everywhere. He saw faces in the windows, in the walls, the cracks in the floor. He heard screaming under the floorboards and in the creaking of the ceiling fan. “Absinthe?” they offered, and there he stood on the edge of a vast desert, cloudy sky stirring the contents of his stomach until they forced their way out.
The laughing was always good-natured. “Another toke will do you well, mate,” someone — he couldn’t tell who — whispered into his ear. It took the edge off, but the things they gave him usually did. The non-stop sexual exhaustion kept him pressed into the sheets without complaint.
No, that wasn’t quite right. He had complained. The toys hurt. He hurt. His body ached all over and he couldn’t keep anything down. More wine was the answer. Or Jaeger. Rum and cocaine. Morphine. Heroine. Meth. They pushed him down, sucked him off, drugged him, kissed him with hard liquor, and laid him down to enjoy while the others went on to each other.
It was the White Widow that he remembered so clearly. Its particular strain reminded him of those days… .just barely far enough to feel safe, but keeps you under the bridge from it. You could run, but why risk? The tension builds. Panic. Anxiety. Sometimes screaming.
He felt fire, he saw those faces in the dark, heard their voices, even though there was no one there but his supposed lovers, all unconscious from their binges. He cried and no one comforted him. They were dead.
Dead until the afternoon when they finally roused themselves, laughing and discussing their dreams and their wonderful feelings and making plans for more, with James huddled in the corner. They’d been dead all night, all morning, and he’d watched their skeletons moving in the red dawn of winter. He’d seen, in his hazy vision, the bone fingers of the trees stretch into the room and choke the life from them. He’d felt that priest touch him, take him, push him down onto the steps in front of that fireplace, hot iron poker ready to lash and tear the flesh right from his bones.
They tried to comfort him but he was numb by the time they were living again. Running fingers through their puppy’s hair, as they called him, shaking his naked shoulder, all that they could get was a small groan.
"He hasn’t been eating”
“Why wouldn’t he be eating?”
“Give him a cigarette.”
“How’s that going to help?”
“His trousers are stained…"
"Shit. With what?”
“Everythin’…"
"Bloody hell, did you really have to insist on that? I told you it was too big.”
“He’s gotta learn some time…"
"Cigarette. Water. Go on then.”
“I don’t think he’s aware.”
“Shit, did we fry the bloke?”
“James… oi James… listen to us. You’re okay.”
“This is getting boring just leave him be, let’s get out the good stuff.. that merlot was amazing."
The rest of the crew continued on while Sarah put her arm around James Hakuba, nuzzling into his shoulder and told him that he didn’t belong, did he? He wanted to be someone. “Here’s your share, baby… you were a wonderful investor.” She pushed a stack of rolled bills into his palms, which he couldn’t even take hold of. “Come on… I’ll get you home.”
Home.. sounded safe, but home ended p being the emergency room. Sarah left him there, bundled in nothing but a blanket with a wad of several thousand notes, smelling like incense, liquor, blood, and sex. She almost forgot to give his wallet back, too, but once he was safely admitted, she left.
Detox. Stomach pumped. Charcoal. Saline solution. His identity eventually made known. Marion and Baaya came straight away, holding their poor baby’s hand. What happened?
He had no answers. Everything was muddled. They rook him home and there he writhed for three agonizing days in the dark through feverish withdrawals until he emerged, resolved.
The things he’d seen were those he never wanted to experience again. The only solution, therefore, was to end it all.
Thanks to everyone who submitted! It’s all behind a cut because… some of the answers, well… just in case! Repeated questions are replaced with the next unasked question in chronological order.
1. Are looks important in a relationship? They certainly make some aspects easier, I suppose… and physical attraction is, generally, a healthy thing to have. Is it the most important part, though? No… no, I don’t think so.
2. Are relationships ever worth it? I’d like to believe that they are, romantic and otherwise. Just because I haven’t really made one work doesn’t mean that its merit is lost in general.
4. Are you in a relationship? Ah… not at present, no. I am, for better or worse, currently single.
5. Are you in love? …I believe so, yes. Assuming I’ve figured out what ‘love’ really is. It’s painful and wonderful all at the same time, yes?
7. Can you commit to one person? If that person is willing to commit likewise, yes.
8. Describe your crush Ah, crush… I have many crushes. Crushes are easy to get. I simply know too many wonderful people… but I imagine that you’re asking about someone in particular. So I’ll tease you with a list of some of my crushes, their traits, and vague hints at their identities… Who knows; you might be among them.
…I suppose I have a thing for dark hair. Who knew? Is this why I’ve been so reluctant to leave Japan? Oh ho. That was a bit of a racist comment; my apologies.
9. Describe your perfect mate Kind, thoughtful, curious, adventurous. Someone who is interested in what I like because I like it, not necessarily because they share it. Someone who is willing to be different from me, too, and content with that. Needs to be willing to share their life. I want to be someone’s partner, not their perfectly preserved china doll in a cabinet. Let me help with your burdens, and help me with mine. Let’s get hurt together, and patch each other up. I want to be well-loved and scuffed around the edges, and I need them to be the same. Enjoying the simple things in life. The subtle. The tiny moments in life that make it worth living… and I want to talk about it. Also, preferred if they love animals. And children. But of course I know that things don’t have to be perfect to be perfect.
12. Do you forgive betrayal? No. At least not easily. By the time I consider something an actual betrayal I tend to detach completely and sever whatever ties I can. It would take a lot of convincing for me to forgive betrayal… and even more for me to let them get close again.
13. Do you get jealous easily? I’d like to say no, but… I know that’s not true. It all depends on how much personal investment I’ve put in to a given person or situation and… how threatened I feel of being replaced, which has happened before.
21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? I suppose that’s possible, yes. I think that’s actually a safe bet…
22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? I would be a little surprised if they were, but I suppose it’s not impossible…
27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? You know, I don’t think… Actually, no; there was a poem written in my first relationship, three or four years ago? It was short and I don’t actually remember the lines (unfortunate), but I do remember the way his mouth moved when he read it to me. How shy he was. The color of his freckled cheeks, heated with embarrassment. He couldn’t even look at me. It was the most amazing thing. A beautiful memory that I wish I could forget.
1. Are looks important in a relationship? 3. Are you a virgin? No.
6. Are you single this year? It would seem so.
9. Describe your perfect mate 11. Do you ever want to get married? Yes, yes I do. Very much so. Some day.
10. Do you believe in love at first sight? I believe that people can feel a strong connection with another person rather immediately and that can develop into love, certainly, but love is not quite so… so simple.
32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Alas, yes.
33. Have you ever had sex with a man? Yes.
34. Have you ever had sex with a woman? Yes.
36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? Yes… and it’s torture.
38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Yes to this as well. More torture.
39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? Yes, yes, and yes. God yes. Never-ending torture of the most frustrating sort.
42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? Haha- that’s a very good question! I have to confess that unless I am very carefully concentrating on doing otherwise, I have a difficult time resisting the urge to… move things forward after fifteen minutes or so. And my hands, well… there’s just so much sensory information that I can gather and I’m a very curious person, you have to understand….
48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? I apologize for making things awkward for them and wish them the best of luck. No hard feelings… unless they’ve been leading me on, but I do hope that I’d be more observant than to be taken in like that. A person can’t really help who they become attracted to, really, and, ah… I’m certain there’d be reasons behind it… after all, I’m not exactly the most… worthy choice…
51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? Yes. Yes, I do believe so, given the right circumstances…
55. Share a relationship story.Once, I met a boy in Paris during one of my summer holidays and I tried an experiment: for the duration of our relationship (twenty-one days), I was to do nothing more than kiss and cuddle. It was difficult. I was almost fifteen years old, and still working through the emotional trauma of the previous year. I don’t think that I would have been able to hold to my promise to Baaya of not trying to take my own life again were it not for this boy… a simple, pure relationship, exploring the streets of Paris. Pointing out everything. Sharing histories, trivia, experiences. When I ended it, I told him not to look for me, that we should leave what was perfect where it needed to be- in Paris. I’ve looked for him since, off and on, but haven’t seen him… Sometimes I wonder if it had been the right decision.
…but as much as I wonder and dream, sometimes, I know that I wouldn’t have been good for him, anyway.
58. What are five ways to win your heart?
62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? Surprise affection in a private setting… ah, I… well, it might be nice to have someone take their time with me… talking, touching, checking, laughing, ah… but I suppose that’s not the sexy sort of thing that you’re looking for, is it? It’s difficult to quantify ‘sexiest thing ever’, really; there are too many moods and options and…
Ah, I’ll just suggest that someone use the secret weapon… Whisper my name in a very particular way into my ear in public, while wearing a straight face, as if you were just speaking about something else, and then follow up on it later~
65. What is your favourite foreplay routine? This is a rather personal question, isn’t it? Ah, I suppose, though… my strategy is always to catch my partner off guard; disarm them by making them laugh, surprising them with something that gets them distracted, in the mood… it’s all about preparing them emotionally before setting to work on exploring and experimenting. The goal is to make them feel as though they’re the only one in the whole world and their pleasure is the most important thing. Lots of touching. Lots of kissing. Finding exactly what does it for them, then building up the momentum and pressure. Match the pacing and style to whatever they seem to prefer, then drive them to the brink… By then, it’s a matter of finishing and, well… … that’s really as specific as I’m willing to be. I’m already fairly embarrassed that I’ve said as much as I have.
67. What is your idea of the perfect date? Who’s the one in charge? I honestly wouldn’t mind being on the ‘being taken on’ end of things for once… But, ah, back to the question. I rather enjoy dates that involve doing some kind of activity that requires outside influence (not outdoors, necessarily, but something to add stimulus – such as a movie, a meal, window shopping, actual shopping, etc.) so that there can be ongoing discussion and commentary… I suppose I rather enjoy talking with those I’m comfortable with.
What I’m getting at, I mean, is doing something together that can be used as a springboard for conversation and thus providing opportunity to learn more about each other within context of a romantic relationship (potential or established). Specifically… ah, going out with the… intent to learn and explore and discover; figuring yourself out with their assistance, prompting more questions and information from them… It’s a learning opportunity; a scientific experiment… willingly… participating… … yes.
69. What turns you off? Controlling possessiveness. Demeaning attitudes. Treating me as if I’m some sort of porcelain figure. And, oh – doing anything without express permission. I cannot stress this enough.
70. What turns you on? Attentiveness. Whispers right against the back of my ear. Lower-lip tugs. Seemingly innocent touches to the backs of elbows. Being let know that I’m desired.
71. What was your kinkiest wet dream? A somewhat modified and shortened version of this… I will not elaborate; it’s far too embarrassing.
72. What words do you like to hear during sex? Positive indicators of all sorts are welcomed; I like to know that I’m on the right path. Also, ah… … … I may or may not really enjoy hearing my (sur)name in various… ways… … ahem.
73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? I’d love… if someone would wait up with me. Talk to me, keep me distracted until I fell asleep… and then curled up next to me and stayed until morning, at least… longer if they really liked me. It might be nice to share my bed with someone who genuinely cares for me. We could have breakfast. Talk about the newspaper. Go shopping. Something. It sounds… it sounds absolutely lovely.
75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? I’d say that, ah, this whole ordeal likely qualifies… Honestly, breaking into my room at night, leaving me gifts and kind little notes? I’m still amazed and confused that it happened… I really don’t deserve such kind treatment.
79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? I’ll confess that I’m jealous all of the time… and it’s ridiculous and shameful and a horrible habit that I need to break out of.
81. Who are five people you find attractive?
8. Describe your crush 14. Do you have a crush on anyone? Yes… several wonderful people, all of whom I have described in an earlier section.
10. Do you believe in love at first sight? 15. Do you have any piercings? No. And while I’m not opposed piercings on others (so long as they look tasteful enough), I do not have any interest in getting any, myself.
17. Do you like kissing in public? Not so much, no. A little peck on the cheek or lips is fine, I suppose, but I prefer for intimacy of most kinds to be conducted in private.
20. Do you shower every day? Barring unusual circumstances, yes.
21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? 23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? Yes. When in relationships, I have always been very committed… Granted, the three or so relationships I’ve been in only lasted about a month each, give or take a week, and… … well, that’s rather pitiful for all of my talk of romance, isn’t it?
38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? 40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? Several, yes. They’ve been generally well-received, as far as I can tell, but have not really… yielded in any sort of quantifiable result.
39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? 41. Have you had sex so far this year? Yes.