Bunnichi in casual clothes (basically sans boots, jacket, and scarf) with cap’n Hattori Shinichi wears the pink shirt because it reminds him of the girl he lost. Plus he doesn’t give a shit about arbitrary gender roles. THIS IS SPACE
I drew some Hakuba with Kaito and Hakuba with Heiji and more Hakuba and ickleba (I think that last sketch is my favorite) …all while on ambien last night. It surprised me when I woke up and found it on my computer in the morning.
Gab: Once upon a time, there were three little detectives who each had a little house. One built his house of books by Ellery Queen. One build his house of books by Arthur Conan Doyle. And the last built his books from the entire Oxford university library. Gab: Then, along came the big bad Kaitou Wolf, who stalked up to the Ellery Queen house Gab: and huffed Gab: and puffed Gab: and KICKED OVER THE LITTLE PILE OF BOOKS Allie Pigion: omfg ★ Karococo! (Cauxiq): OMFG Gab: and sent the little Osakan detective running to the next house, where the big bad Kaitou wolf went to next Gab: KUDO PLEASE YA GOTTA LET ME IN Gab: OI geez fine Allie Pigion: oh god ★ Karococo! (Cauxiq): omg Gab: So the two detectives hid behind their fortress of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle Gab: all of the serial productions and paperbacks hardcovers etc Gab: But then came Big Bad Kaitou Wolf Gab: who huffed Gab: and puffed Gab: and BODY TACKLED INTO THE HOUSE ★ Karococo! (Cauxiq): FUCK Gab: sending the two detectives SQUEALING for the third house Allie Pigion: GDI KAITO Gab: They pounded at the house Gab: PLEASE HAKUBA LET US IN Gab: YA GOTTA LET US IN Gab: Hakuba peeked over the fortified tower of books with an incredulous brow raise Gab: Hakuba: And why should I let you in~? Allie Pigion: oh my god Gab: Shinichi: we’re colleages? ★ Karococo! (Cauxiq): omgggg Gab: Heiji: ya ya we’re colleagues hakuba!! Gab: Hakuba: hMmMmM I seem to remember that /you/ didn’t think I DESERVED to be in Japan, Hattori ★ Karococo! (Cauxiq): PFT Gab: Heiji: no! wait I mean c’MON HAKUBA Gab: Hakuba: And if I remember correctly, YOU thought that Kaitou Kid wasn’t even a challenge and that I was ridiculous for having not caught him yet Gab: Shinichi: hey we can talk about sherlock holmes hakuba Allie Pigion: omg hakuba Gab: Hakuba: Kudou may come in~ ★ Karococo! (Cauxiq): FUCK ★ Karococo! (Cauxiq): AHAHA Gab: Shinichi scrambles in ★ Karococo! (Cauxiq): JERK Gab: Heiji: BUT HAKUBA WHA ‘BOUT ME?! Gab: Hakuba: admit that I’m great u_u Gab: Heiji has to think about it Gab: looking between the fortress and the approaching Kaitou Wolf ★ Karococo! (Cauxiq): omg Gab: Hakuba: I’m waiting~ Gab: Heiji: Er Uh Gab: Heiji: MAYBE YER NOT SO LAME AS I SAID Gab: Shinichi: geez Gab: Hakuba: Is that really the best you can do? Gab: Heiji: PLEASE HAKUBA HE’S COMIN Gab: Hakuba: HMF An apology would be nice at least Gab: Heiji: ’M SORRY OKAY ’M SORRY Gab: Hakuba: oh all right come on in, tea’s almost ready Gab: so the three detectives drank tea while waiting inside of the fortress of books Gab: while the big bad kaitou wolf came creeping over Gab: and he huffed Gab: and he puffed Gab: and he poured a several gallons of lighter fluid onto the fortress ★ Karococo! (Cauxiq): OH GOD Allie Pigion: omfgggg Gab: Shinichi: oi do you smell something? ★ Karococo! (Cauxiq): retreat to akako’s house Gab: Hakuba: probably just the scones, I’ll go check Gab: Heiji: nice place Hakuba’s got here I guess Gab: Hakuba: IT’S NOT THE SCONES THE WHOLE ENTIRE FORTRESS IS ON FIRE ★ Karococo! (Cauxiq): goodbye nerds Gab: Shinichi: why did we think that building a house out of books was a good idea Allie Pigion: they were very literary minded Gab: and they all burned to death Gab: and the Big Bad Kaitou Wolf howled into the night to celebrate his success Gab: the end <3
Once upon a time (earlier today), meitanteiosaka’s mun and I discussed an AU in which Hakuba was a shape-shifting gryphon/detective, tasked with the honor of going to Japan to slay the evil demon known as Spider. While there, he met Heiji, a shape-shifting tiger/detective beastie. The Koushien went as well as could be expected (just like the show, only with more being at each other’s throats), and the end result was a heck of a lot of residual anger and a serious need to posture.
Thus, months later, Hakuba finally decides to challenge Heiji to a BATTLE. Over text messages, no less. The following is the hypothetical transcript of the transpiring challenge:
–
Hakuba: [text] I am coming to visit. Heiji: [text] who is this Hakuba: [text] The REAL Detective of the WEST
pause
Heiji: [text] who Hakuba: [text] HAKUBA SAGURU Heiji: [text] FUCK YA YER NOT TH’ REAL DETECTIVE OF TH’ WEST Hakuba: [text] YES I AM AND YOU CANNOT CONTEST THAT GEOGRAPHICALLY Heiji: [text] KANSAI IS WESTERN JAPAN, ASSHOLE Hakuba: [text] YES BUT I AM REFERRING TO THE GREATER WEST – I RULE ALL OF EUROPE Heiji: [text] seriously doubt that. ya couldn’t rule a small house Hakuba: [text] Oh just you wait, Hattori Heiji…. JUST YOU WAIT. Heiji: [text] why’re ya comin’ here Hakuba: [text] TO DEFEAT YOU IN BATTLE Heiji: [text] bring it. yer gonna lose, just so ya know Hakuba: [text] I SINCERELY DOUBT THAT, TORA-CHAN Heiji: [text] DROP TH’ CHAN, PRICK Hakuba: [text] TO-RA-CHA-N Heiji: [text] UNGODLY UNION OF A BIRD AN’ HOUSECAT Hakuba: [text] YOU WILL EAT THOSE WORDS YOU USELESS TABBY Heiji: [text] I’LL FEED YA YER OWN TAIL Hakuba: [text] I’LL TURN YOU TO BUTTER FOR MY PANCAKES
Heiji has to pause on that one because what? seriously what?
Hakuba looks to Kaito
Hakuba: I think the challenging is going well~ he seems game to fight Kaito: that’s…..good? Hakuba: very successful banter indeed~
Heiji: [text] I’LL TURN YA INTA GLUE Hakuba: [text] YOU’LL MAKE AN EXCELLENT THROW RUG FOR THE GARAGE Heiji: [text] I’LL MOUNT YER HEAD IN MY OFFICE Hakuba: [text] THAT WOULD BE THE ONLY WAY YOU’D EVER GET TO MOUNT ANYTHING Heiji: [text] AN’ YET YA’D STILL BE TH’ ONE GETTIN’ MOUNTED
Hakuba GASPS at his phone
Kaito: were you slighted? not looking up from his homework Hakuba: !!!!! HE IS ….. ..!!!!! SUCH A BRUTE Kaito: you’re both acting like kids Hakuba: I AM GOING TO DESTROY HIM Kaito: yeah, kind of a problem with that
Hakuba: [text] YOU ONLY WISH YOU COULD BE SO FORTUNATE TO HAVE SOMETHING AS GLORIOUS AS MYSELF
Hakuba: I won’t really KILL him just… teach him a LESSON Kaito: you’re still a detective. upholder of the law. you shouldn’t be getting into fights just /because/ Hakuba: It’s not ////just because////, it’s for HONOUR Hakuba: HE INSULTED ME
Heiji: [text] mighty big ego ya got there. I’d prolly just use ya as a paperweight
Kaito: and I’m sure you’re insulting him right back Hakuba: well of course, but at least I’m not doing it in front of OTHER DETECTIVES
Hakuba: [text] We’ll see about that, HATTORI HEIJI. BE PREPARED FOR BATTLE THIS WEEKEND. Heiji: [text] OH I WILL
Kaito: yeah. just regular citizens Hakuba: no, I’m doing it over text Hakuba: you see, over the phone, only he is privy to the messages
Heiji: [text] WASH YER PRETTY LI’L NECK, HAKUBA, ‘CAUSE I’M GONNA RIP THOSE FEATHERS FROM YER ASS Hakuba: [text] I think that you may also need to rethink your plan of dropping out of school; your understanding of anatomy could use some work.
pause
Heiji: [text] yer ignorance of common phrases astounds me Hakuba: [text] you do recall that I’m a european gryphon, yes? or do you need to work on your geography as well? Heiji: [text] yer still half Japanese. thought ya’d at least know some of yer heritage Hakuba: [text] Perhaps I’ll think about residency here to do just that after I have defeated you Heiji: [text] ya WISH Hakuba: [text] I don’t need wishes; I forge my own destiny. I look forward to destroying yours.
Hakuba: Kuroba Kaito: ye~s? Hakuba: if someone says to wash your pretty little neck, are they referring to washing your neck before being beheaded? Kaito: yep Hakuba: And is that related to execution or the slaughtering of a chicken? Kaito: uh, execution Hakuba: Ah. All right, then.
Heiji: [text] yanno I’d say yer ego’s bigger than yer dick, but that ain’t difficult ta do
Hakuba: ….Kuroba Kaito: hm? Hakuba: it is generally ill-advised to send photos of one’s genitalia to your adversaries in this country, is it not? Kaito: …..yes. yes it is. please tell me that it’s not like that in England Hakuba: no, it’s thought of as quite childish there, as well Kaito: are you guys seriously insulting each other’s….? Hakuba: HE JUST DID Hakuba: DO YOU SEE WHY I NEED TO DEFEAT HIM?! Kaito: I see why you both need to stop fighting Hakuba: and pray tell why is that Kaito: because you are /children/ Hakuba: well, technically, yes Kaito: fine Kaito: you know what Kaito: go have your fight. I’m going to be grabbing a crepe or something in the meantime
Heiji: [text] betcha don’t even got th’ balls ta come ta Osaka, pretty bird~ Hakuba: [text] I’ve already booked the hotel, tora-chan. Hakuba: [text] you may want to be careful when speaking of anatomical comparison; after all, the national average for your country doesn’t afford much hope for you~
Heiji’s going ‘FUCK’
Heiji: [text] are ya sayin’ ya’d like ta show me yers? sorry Hakuba, but I ain’t interested Hakuba: [text] you were the one who brought it up, RIVAL HATTORI HEIJI! But no, you are not worthy, anyway.
Hakuba: he’s so crude Hakuba: I surely must defeat him Kaito: you keep telling yourself that Hakuba: he keeps talking about his…! Kaito: mmhm Hakuba: disgusting, honestly
Kaito’s only half-listening Hakuba looks at his phone in despair Heiji isn’t responding, he’s calling Shinichi to COMPLAIN LOUDLY
Shyness gave way to embarrassment once the detective finished his song, then turned to mortification when he realized that the response from his companions hadn’t been a standing ovation or stricken with awe – Hattori and Kuroba were laughing. And not just any laugh, but the riotous, falling over each other sort, each holding their sides and each other as their howls competed with their lungs for oxygen.
To be honest, Hakuba wasn’t sure what he’d expected to happen after his performance, or what had possessed him to go up onto the stage in the first place. It was so completely unlike him, particularly in front of his associates that he felt absolutely helpless as he stepped away from the mic and dropped down to the ground level next to the orchestra pit. They were there to investigate the multiple death threats that had been lodged against the band’s lead vocalist, not to live out a silly little fantasy.
Blush burned into his cheeks and mouth fixed in a tiny frown, he brushed past the heckling pair of hyenas and strode off to make his escape. Let them laugh, he thought coldly, ignoring their calls after him. We’ve work to do.
He was at least grateful that there were few people in the auditorium, minimizing the damage. He needed to find the stage manager for questioning…
“Oiiiiii! Hakuba! Wait up!”
Hakuba turned back to find himself looking at Cona – aka his rival, colleague, and idol in disguise – and blinked, expression guarded. Great… now Kudou wants a turn to stab me right in the heart.
“How’d you learn to sing like that?? That was really good!"
"Y-you… really think so?” Hakuba stammered the question out before he could stop himself, letting the praise steamroll right over conventional politeness. “Ah, I mean…”
Conan nodded, eager and child-like as he often was when in public or on the case. It seemed that he slipped into the act naturally as anything, but the child-like wonder added a certain charm to the compliments. “Yeah! I had no idea you could sing! Great detective and vocalist?”
It was almost too much. The blond shuffled from foot to foot, thrusting hands into his pockets in a sheepish display of humility. “Ah, thank you…. My mum was a music major in university – concert piano – so I’ve been involved in music since I was quite young. Choir, piano, violin…"
"Ehhh?? You play the violin, too?”
The boy smiled in that way that he did when he was particularly impressed under cover – or trying to hide something. It felt genuine that time, at any rate, and Hakuba couldn’t help the warm contentment that always overcame him with such adorable displays.
“I do, yes… I understand that you do, as well, don’t you?"
"Yep!”
“As an homage to Mr. Holmes?”
“Of course!”
Hakuba laughed, pleased and amused and alltogether quite proud to mentally file that tidbit of information away with all of the other details that made he and Kudou Shinichi a complementary pair. The others may not have appreciated his talent, as inappropriate as its reveal was, timing-wise.
