Confusion and pain were the two words Hakuba put together as he returned to consciousness. The third was ‘annoying,’ which was in reference to his the ringtone assigned to Baaya in his phone. He lifted his head, scraping his cheek against the bark of the tree that he was in, and frowned.

It was dark. And he was naked. In a tree. 

The detective very carefully pulled himself into a sit, feet bracing him against the sturdy branch beneath him. Memories shaken, the only thing he could think of to do was to answer the phone, which he did.

“Ah, mo-”

“Saguru-kun! Where in blue blazes are you?! We’ve been trying to call you for the last three hours!”

Hakuba grimaced, pulling the phone away from his ear. “Ah, Baaya… what time is it?”

“WELL PAST TIME TO GET YOUR FANNY BACK HERE! Your father is about to send out a search and rescue squad!”

Oh. Right. The missed dinner appointment… not answering his phone… Things completely unlike his usual behavior. But then, he’d just been a cat, so that was to be expected. And on that note, the tie around his neck was rather uncomfortably tight. 

“I’ll be home soon, Baaya… I just need to figure out how to… get out of this tree…”

“Tree?”

“Yeah, I fell asleep in it earlier. That’s why I missed your calls.”

“Just… climb down and get home, okay, young master?”

“It’s a little more complicated than that, Baaya…" 

"What?” The concerned tone went flat again. “What do you mean?”

“Ah, well, you see…”

“I don’t like that tone you’re using, young master…”

“I may have fallen asleep naked?”

“What…?”

“In a tree.”

“Right, I understood that part, young master.”

“Right outside of the court house." 

There was silence for a moment. Then a sigh. "I’ll bring a car and a change of clothes…”

“Oh, no need for that. I can see them from here; they’re underneath the bench just south from the tree.”

More silence.

“I put them there for safe keeping.”

“…Your mother may be fine with these new age protests, but your father and I do not share the same opinion, Saguru-kun! Honestly, what were you thinking?!”

“That I was very tired, to be quite honest.”

“…Never mind. I’ll be there in fifteen. Don’t… move or you’ll risk being caught and…”

“I wouldn’t dream of such a thing, Baaya.” Pause. “Oh, and Baaya… about Papa…”

“If you manage to avoid being charged with public indecency, I will spare him the information.”

“You’re wonderful, Baaya… have I told you that recently?”

“Yes, which is what worries me. I’ll see you soon.”

Hakuba waited for the woman to disconnect before he did the same, and finished pulling the tie off from around his neck. There didn’t seem to be many out and about at this time of night, which was lucky for him  As long as no one had seen him and had taken photos stealthily, he ought to be just fine… Maybe… 

Hm. The tie that he’d stolen, he discovered, was actually quite nice. He’d have to stop by some time soon to offer patronage.