Tag Archives: hakubby vs cleanba

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britishhsdetectivehakuba:

The other seemed to have ignored the fact that he had state he found kissing disgusting, as he first started of on a tirade about how any Hakuba Saguru’s ‘must know how to kiss’ and then about kissing itself. He could feel his patience slowly eroding with each word the other spoke. It wasn’t that he didn’t know about kissing, he just didn’t kiss people, the exchanging of saliva, the skin contact? It made him feel ill. He had no desire to do it with anyone.

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And honestly he didn’t care if it was’t an ‘actual kiss’, he did what he was told to do, and that was it. He had done nothing wrong, what so ever, and the others mocking and haughty tone had pushed him far enough to make anger bubble over in his chest, though his kept his face neutral enough, and his voice calm and collected.

“If you are quite done with yourself.” Hakuba crossed his arms. “I did state before that I found kissing disgusting, but instead you chose to ignore that in favor of hearing yourself talk.” Hakuba examined a nail. “I have no desire what so ever to learn about these ‘real kisses’, I am well aware what kissing entails and the different kinds of kisses there are. I choose not to take part in any type of them.

"If you would take a step off your high horse for a moment, I will explain to you the reasoning behind it that you have chosen to ignore in favor of your soapbox.” Hakuba adjusts his suit. “I myself have mysophobia, it is the fear of contamination and being dirty. I despise skin to skin contact and don’t let people hug me, let alone press agree to the exchange of skin and saliva.” He shuddered at the though and lifted his gaze towards the other.

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“Further more, there has been no ‘crime committed’. Therefore I have no reason to make amends. I was only doing what I was forced to do, and have no desire to do it again. Least of all with my other self who seems to like nothing more then to make others feel utterly horrid.” Hmpfh. 

“Ah, what a perfectly proud pair of pretentious prats we are!” Hakuba exclaimed, laughing with a touch of madness in his glee – he had a certain weakness for alliteration, particularly when it was insulting. “Yes, I’ve already deduced your crippling phobia, and feel all the more piteous for you that you should let it be a crutch with which to excuse yourself from experiencing all that God has granted us in this life." 

Hakuba shrugged, no less composed or pleased with himself for having gotten under his counterpart’s itching skin so thoroughly. 

"That said… it does seem that you have a particular interest in my sharp wit; indeed, my greatest weapons are my words, and many have said that I am, myself, silver-tongued. But it is not only words with which my tongue is quite talented; are you interested in investigating that, or are you simply content to remain as a mere portrait on Mr. Dorian’s wall~?”

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britishhsdetectivehakuba reblogged your post and added:

The kiss was over almost as fast as it had been done. Hakuba had been nervous, and a little ill at the thought, but the barely-there press of lips, which he had washed, was safe enough. Though he may have to wash his own later, just in case. Disinfectant didn’t get rid of everything, and he wasn’t sure if this Hakuba kept himself as clean as he did. If he kissed other – the thought making his stomach churn – or what he brought to his mouth.

He shifted a little as he felt the others gaze on him, and he couldn’t help but feel like a bug under a magnifying glass. The thought made him more nervous then he already was, and extremely uncomfortable. It wasn’t like he’d exactly wanted to do this, but he had made it a point in his life, never to back down from a challenge, and so here he was; facing his other self in a situation that was not exactly pleasant. 

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Hakuba scoffed at the thought of being compared to Kaitou KID, he was no thief. He followed the law to a T, and worked for them. There was no way he would ever steal anything, let alone repeatedly. The thought angered him, though he pushed it back down. A flush rose up on his cheeks as the detective continued to to talk, and he couldn’t help but feel insulted.

like the other was making fun of him.

“No one has ‘taught’ me how to kiss. I find the very idea of it, disgusting. As for my name my name is Hakuba Saguru.” His words had a bit of bite to them, still feeling the prick of the tease earlier.

“Hakuba Saguru?” He replied, tone dripping with incredulity as he tilted his head to the other side. “My dear boy, you could not possibly be the Hakuba Saguru, for any Hakuba Saguru worth anything knows the finer art of kissing. Any idea to the contrary is preposterous." 

Hakuba shook his head, hands folding behind his back which aided his posturing – tall, broad-shouldered, confident – and began, again, to pace around the other in amusement. 

"You see,” the more vocal half-brit began, stepping onto the metaphorical soapbox. “There are an estimated 157 different kisses that one can give, each with their own meaning and intent. Without the emotion behind it, you can hardly call it a kiss at all; simply physical contact between two parts of the body. No, no, my young friend, in order for it to be a kiss, you MUST have feeling, which you have unfortunately fallen short of.”

He spun on his heel in almost military fashion and stood at attention, eyes narrowed as he surveyed his audience, brows raising. “‘Oh, but wait,’ you might say. ‘My kiss conveyed reluctance and lack of desire, which is a valid emotion and motive in and of itself, therefore making it a valid kiss’ – and if that was your intent, then I suppose you have succeeded… but in doing so have created a horrendous crime.”

“Kissing is a way to express something to another person… why, therefor, would you choose to express such a negative and unfavorable emotion upon another person? Why would you, in the face of such an opportunity, willingly defer to the idea that it is acceptable to give anything less than your best in good spirit and admiration for this other, living, breathing, feeling being? Have you no heart at all, my dark shadow?”

“Who has wronged you in such a way to make you feel as though you’ve no alternative but to bruise my already broken heart with such a paltry offering? I ask you; was it simply an misinformed mistake? Shall I grant you the opportunity to make amends, set this wrong right, absolve you of your crime and send us both on our ways as better people?”

After a moment to finally take a breath, he offered a pleading glance and an open palm. “Please, you must tell me. Shall it be so?”

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Cleanba made his way towards Hakubby, taking out a handkerchief. He dabbed it with some food safe disinfectant, therefore would cause no harm if consumed, and dabbed it over his other self’s lips before leaning in to kiss him.

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“…" 

Of all of the many, many experiences that Hakuba had experienced in that vein, this was a first. The detective, confused and startled as he was, could only watch, mystified, as the other approached, touched, and then kissed him. He stood there in silence for a moment after that, eyes narrowing while he regarded his doppelganger. Really, aside from a few minor differences, the other young man might have been a mirror image of himself. 

…but there were, of course, those aforementioned minor differences. These offered a sort of reassurance on one hand – someone like Kaitou Kid or those in a similar trade wouldn’t make that sort of mistake if they were attempting to replace him for some nefarious reason. On the other hand, it did raise quite a few new questions. 

The half-brit tilted his head, setting his gaze at an angle to get a better look at his counterpart, bringing a hand up to his own lips to touch the substance that had been put there. From what he could tell from touch, smell, and taste, it was nothing more than an antiseptic of some sort; nothing immediately harmful. But why…?

Oh. The gloves. Right, yes, that made sense. But was it some sort of phobia, perhaps? A symptom of an extreme obsessive compulsive disorder? Unless it was part of the disguise. Feigning that sort of thing proved a useful distraction for those who might otherwise suspect something amiss. So who was this other self? 

Even more curious was the nature of their interaction. A kiss. But not just any kiss – a pitiful excuse for a peck, almost as if it were spurred on by some unnatural force, carried through with the utmost reluctance and hesitation. Clearly, this false detective had little, if any, experience in physical affection, nor the inclination for it.

But then again… that may be just the sort of thing that a person might want him to believe in order to mislead his deduction. Hakuba took in a slow, measured breath and let it out while he counted the seconds to himself in his head. Really, despite the various theories that had begun to surface, he felt no more confident in reaching a conclusion than he had fifteen seconds ago, and the longer he delayed, the lower his chances of reaching a satisfying resolution. 

He would have to, therefore, bluff in order to buy himself some time and, with any luck, probe additional information from his assailant. 

"Well, then,” he said, lips tilting into a lopsided smirk. “I would assume that you were Kaitou Kid in another one of his ridiculous disguises, but you certainly don’t kiss the way that he does.” Hakuba chuckled, shoulders shrugging in amusement. “So who, may I ask, are you, and whoever taught you how to kiss that way~?”