Tag Archives: hakuba answers

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Re: COOKIES

osakansax said: “Ya know’f ya jus’ give them ta those “blokes with th’ very nice car,” one of them can eat all’f them an’ still have room fer two cakes an’ a 2-liter bottle of rum.”

 

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“Is that so? Well then… I suppose I will bring them by. After all, anyone with such good taste in automobiles would certainly appreciate these cookies which – from what I have seen thus far – ARE safe to eat…”

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Question 008 (if you give a Hakuba a cookie…)

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“While undoubtedly delicious, three hundred seems a tad excessive, doesn’t it? I may nip one or two for myself, but if it’s all the same to you, I’d like to share the rest with my followers… Let’s see, two hundred ninety-eight divided by twenty is… 14.9 cookies per follower.”

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“That’s still… quite an unhealthy ratio of cookies per person. But, wait, perhaps if I take an equal share and also send some over to those blokes with the very nice car…  That’s three hundred divided by twenty-three, leaving us with 13.043 per person…”

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“No, no, that won’t do at all… I can’t imagine that anyone should want more than two cookies, but that would mean that I would need one hundred and fifty people to give cookies to… I suppose I could take them to my father’s office but even that would be excessive and then I would have to worry that my father’s colleagues are assuming that I’m trying to gain additional favor… and I can’t have that!”

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“Perhaps one of the upcoming charity events? No… then I’d have to register them and it would not be coming from a proper catering service which would raise suspicion that we’re cutting budgets… and if I just left them there discretely, they would suspect that they were poisonous…”

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“Actually, I don’t know the origin of these cookies in the first place… How do I know that they are safe for anyone to consume, much less my fans, friends, family, and colleagues?!”

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“…I could always send them to Hattori-san… but I believe by this point that may be suspect for several different reasons.”

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“I would just throw them away and be done with it, but I wouldn’t want to be rude. It was awfully considerate of that person to send me cookies in the first place, especially as I do love the occasional treat…" 

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"Well! I suppose I ought to get on testing these cookies to ensure their quality and safety. then. It should only take me three or four hours to reach a conclusion.”

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Question 0005

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“Ah, I’m glad that you asked! The J stands for James, and is what I usually go by while in London — at least where academia is concerned.

“As you well may know, I come from a mixed heritage background. My father is Japanese and my mother is British. As with most things, they fought over what to name me for weeks. He wanted a good, strong Japanese name; she wanted a good, strong, English/Christian name. Papa won in the end, but Mum got her own small victory in compromise. 

“It’s not likely that you’ll hear me referred to as James around Tokyo, though; it’s quite difficult for the Japanese to pronounce. Almost as difficult as it is for the English to pronounce ‘Saguru,’ which has led to some very frustrating teasing from my classmates…”