“Let me preface this by saying that I do appreciate that my mun knew she loved me from the very first moment that she saw me in Detective Conan manga, unlike most…”
“But she’s… a little bit unsettling at times…?”
“I think she may be the cause of the majority of my problems.”
You know I can’t allow you to show that cake and not share it, right?
“Oh, well if you’d like some, you’re more than welcome to join me, Kuroba-kun. I would be quite happy to host!”
“I suppose I could share with you, Kuroba-san… but only if you take it from my lips.”
“Who am I to deny the birthday boy? I’ll have Baaya send some over.”
“Ah, tonight we’re having Japanese curry rice. It’s a wonderful comfort food and, while vastly different from Indian curry, reminds me of home. In London, Indian Curries are all the rage – nothing else quite compares to its robust flavor and spice. Japanese curry is more savory and, while still possessing the capacity for heat, is more about being a stew than a milky sauce. All the same, I rather enjoy it, and am pleased to be able to find it just about anywhere in Japan.”
“Doesn’t that look delicious? In case you were interested in making it yourself, I have found an easy to follow recipe for your convenience:
"Along with dinner, I think a nice Moscato wine will make a wonderful accompaniment."
"And finally, for dessert… Chocolate Strawberry Shortcake, in honor of Kuroba Kaito’s birthday.”
“I hope that he’s having a lovely evening… I must admit that I was a little too shy to really approach him about it myself.”
“I may have been, once… three or four years ago…”
…
“Should I take that as a yes?”
“Haven’t you asked enough questions? God, Kuroba-san… And you claim that I’m pushy. I think ‘friend’ is a bit strong. Perhaps I’ve become a bit fond of you against my better judgment and I’m not entirely certain what would happen to you if I did, in fact, turn you in. Perhaps I don’t want want to be responsible for your blood on my hands. I don’t know what your game is, or your motives, but I know that you’ve made some powerful people very angry and I’m not going to assist in getting you killed if I can help it. Is that a conclusive enough of an answer for you?”
“Clearly, Rarity is the correct choice as she is objectively the best pony. Black Beauty maintains his position as best horse overall, however.”
"One can only imagine what a foal between them would be like… …. Ah, my Britishness is showing, isn’t it?“
“Ah… Well, it… The dirtiest one? It’s a little, ah, difficult to… just… describe. There are lots of factors and elements that play into it. Ah, specific details, I mean. And may or may not involve certain other detectives. And…”
“I envision a hotel. Resort hotel, specifically. White sands. All-inclusive. Some kind of an event – those details aren’t really important – but Kudou-san is there… I suppose it would be like the Koushien, with Kudou-san actually attending. Myself, Kudou-san, and Ha-Hattori-san hired and asked to attend. So, this hotel, and it’s the evening before we’re to meet our client… and Kudou-san has asked me to have tea with him to discuss the letters I’ve sent that he never got around replying to… which sends Hattori-san off in a huff…"
"A-anyway, we have tea and it’s lovely. And we make plans to meet up back in Tokyo. But he decides to go check on Hattori-san and I head up to my room to get ready for the evening, and run into Hattori there, in the elevator… and he, ah… is furious, you see. Territorial over his friend (that he doesn’t deserve, I might add). We get into an argument. A heated… argument and he… pushes me up against the wall and… Tensions… Leading to…"
"And then, arriving at the top floor, we are surprised to find Kudou who… Ah, wait, I think this is slightly out of order..”
“Perhaps it was the dance, first… I think we were hired to investigate something during an event… Despite the heated arguments and tension before, the three of us fanned out to investigate the crowd, mixing and mingling… Wait, no…”
“Something about deductive reasoning and showing Hattori-san that he can’t just push me around, even though the time in the elevator… Well, I have to prove that I can be dominant, too, by…”
“…defending my fellow detectives… from a secret assassination group sent by an underground criminal organization from London!”
“And it turns out that Kaitou KID was our client all along, and knew that I would be the best to protect us all from the threat.”
“Somehow, we end up back at my suite and, with plenty of drinks to go around, the four of us… Ah, well… So much youthful energy."
"Next question, please.”
“On the whole, goat-creature, I agree with you… A person’s life ought to be a private thing, and I do respect that. However, there are situations where a detective, such as myself, must step over those boundaries for the greater good.
"Say, for example, that someone were to murder your queen. Would your people be concerned? Would an investigation be launched? A detective in those times could not only uncover the truth, but help to bring closure. We are just as much focused on preventative measures as we are damage control and prosecution.
"A good detective could uncover unseemly motivations from previously trusted staff, allowing the new faction head a chance to tighten security. They could also interrogate neighboring kingdoms to see if the culprit was sent by outside forces. Motivations uncovered, the potential problems can be dealt with properly – with time, discussion, and a clear, level head. Diplomatically.
"And, of course, once the culprit is identified, justice can be dealt, one way or the other… resulting in the aforementioned closure and peace of mind.”
If you want tea, you must eat.
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the amazingness that is this cup of tea.”
Don’t care. EAT IT OR NO MORE DETECTIVE TIME OR TEA FOR YOU.
Fatty. 83
“You… dare to threaten tea time?!”
“…This is beyond inappropriate behavior. No more discussion regarding suspicious baked goods or my body, thank you very much. I am quite happy with the way that I look. Further correspondence will be directed to my lawyer. Don’t make me write another PSA about proper internet etiquette."