Hakuba, what’s a normal school day for you?

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“My mornings begin at 6am with some light exercise, a shower, tea, and a recheck of my schedule for the day to decide if I have a good enough excuse to wear my suit to school instead of that ghastly uniform. Often, this only happens once or twice a week, which is a shame.

"Once I have some sort of thing to take for breakfast, and an apple or bento for lunch, Baaya drives me to school. My father’s house is on the boundaries of Ekoda High’s district, so it’s quite the walk, even if I manage to catch a bus. Students are discouraged from driving, and Baaya claims that I’m dangerous on the road, so I let her handle it- not that there is any parking for students, anyway.

"We arrive between 08:05-08:15, depending on weather and traffic, and I immediately head to the lockers to trade my nice shoes for school slippers, and then, depending on the day, to the assembly or home room to prepare for class. Japanese schools are different in that the students tend to stay in one room and the teachers move between classes for different subjects, instead of the other way around. 

"My days are spent taking ample notes on both a given sensei’s subject and on the behaviors of my fellow classmates. I have separate notebooks for these tasks, and log the latter in English to deter curious overlookers. Some of my classmates are of more interest than others – Kuroba Kaito, for one, with his antics and pranks, and Koizumi Akako for another, with whatever her current scheme is – but everyone has a profile in my database, as we tend to spend so much time together.

"Lunch is spent in the classroom on most days, though I’ll venture out to somewhere more quiet when I have a lot of work to do. This time is usually devoted to studying casefiles for my private clients or whatever the force has given me to work on, though I do, occasionally, use it for homework and essay writing. 

"Contrary to popular belief, getting the grades that I do and maintaining them is no easy feat. I may be intellectually superior to many, but I still have much to learn about the nuances of the Japanese language and culture; kanji remains the bane of my existence, and I fear I may NEVER get the hang of the more abstract word-play jokes. More on this later, however. If I’m feeling up to it, I’ll eat. If not, I won’t, and then it’s back to lessons.

"Once class is over and cleaning duties are complete, I’m usually able to head out for the day as long as there is no cram school. Although club activities are typically required for students, I’ve had an exception made for myself because of my detective work. This is one area where I have allowed my father to pull some strings for me, which I am grateful for. I simply do not have time to spend two or so hours after school, every day, socializing. I have work to do. 

"Baaya picks me up as always, right on time, and will drop me off at whatever appointment I have with clients, at the station for work, or will take me home to get started on my school assignments. Every one of them is done as early as possible so that I have time to check and recheck and do additional research if necessary. At least I’m able to have afternoon tea in the process. 

"If I’m to get into Oxford or Keio, I must have excellent marks, particularly as transferring between countries often leaves gaps for required credits. I have them all, rest-assured, and in fact could nearly already graduate with what I have, but it adds one more thing to the application process that I’d rather not have the administration deal with — it’s annoying for them (which I’d rather not have them associate with me), and gives too wide a margin of error for my taste.

"After all of that, I’ll have dinner with Baaya and my father, if he’s managed to escape from work (which only happens once a week at best), and then return to studying, cross-referencing casefiles, investigating crime scenes, meeting with clients, preparing for Kaitou Kid’s heists, or, if I’m very lucky, winding down with a book before bed. 

"Typically, I’ll end up in bed just after midnight, but I find it very difficult to sleep when there’s still so much to be done. Fortunately, the weekend is a splendid time to catch up – both on work and on sleep.”

Hakuba, what do you think of Ran Mouri and Kazuha Toyama?

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“Mouri-chan is such a nice girl. I’ve rather enjoyed every interaction I’ve ever had with her – usually at the station or when the division needs me to run an errand involving her father. Kind, intelligent, respectful, strong willed… I can definitely understand what Kudou-kun sees in her. Ah, they’re both so fortunate to have each other! What a lucky pair. And the fact that she could kill me at any given moment is a definite plus! Ah, I love a woman who can tear me apart and still let me get the door for her~”

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“Toyama-chan, on the other hand, may be a pretty girl, but she’s somehow even more annoying and more difficult to understand than Hattori-kun. And violent, as well! But not in the calm, restrained way that Mouri-chan is, just reckless and aggressive and augh! She and Hattori-kun deserve each other. I can only hope that they enjoy tearing each other’s throats out in their senseless mauling.” 

any plans for your birthday?

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“Were I home in London, I’d see if I could find any of my old mates from high school to go on a pub crawl with me; that’s usually what we’d do, anyway. But here in Japan, where I have very little – if any – friends, I think I’ll spend the evening digging through cold case files at the station. You never know when you’ll find something interesting that the others have dropped, and I love tying up loose ends.

"That said, I’m certain Baaya will do something for me, which is usually eclairs with breakfast. Perhaps I’ll see if I my father can be too busy to meet me for lunch in downtown Tokyo, as well. It would be par for the course.”

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"I think I’ll take Watson out on Saturday, though. The weather is still nice enough for camping, and we haven’t gone hunting in a while. Perhaps I’ll even be able to convince Baaya to get me the keys for the cabin; it’d be a lot nicer than pitching a tent with an outdoor perch.”

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((Hakuba’s birthday is August 29th – this Friday! I may let him drunk text people again, so please look forward to it!))

Do you prefer to wear Western or traditional Japanese clothing? I think you would look really nice in a kimono.

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“Oh, definitely western, no question about it. I prefer to wear business professional above all else, however, I do wear a yukata when I visit my grandparents or attend more traditional events, like tea ceremonies. And though I’ve been told that I look quite nice in it, I always feel like a tourist. Alas, I’ll never quite fit in, even if I can bow with the best of them.”

Have any of your fangirls ever asked you to father their kids?

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“Yes, yes they have, which is always an awkward thing because it seems that the more someone throws themselves at me, the less interested I am. Life is funny that way. My poor, naive fangirls. I adore them, don’t get me wrong, and their support is appreciated immensely, but I will not give in to their ideas of fancy.”

"Now, those who are secretly my fangirl or boy, on the other hand…”

If you were somehow limited to only 3 sexual partners for the rest of your life, who would they be (you can leave slots open for monogamy or people you have yet to meet).

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“Ideally, I’d settle down with one lover to spend the rest of my life with. As for who that person is, well… There are quite a few people that I can think of off of the top of my head that I think could make wonderful spouses, but the one that I am really invested in is the one and only Kaitou Kid. Yes, the rumors are true. Not that he needs to know… and I understand that it’s just a silly crush, anyway.

"For the sake of this fantasy scenario, though, I’ll pick the aforementioned thief, and my two colleagues, Kudou Shinichi and Hattori Heiji. They’re the three that I can easily imagine spending that sort of personal time with, to varying degrees of success and bickering, and are likely the only ones who could keep up with me in terms of intellect.

"Again, not that they need to know."