smokebombsandmirrors:

Pain both physical and psychological lanced across his face before he could stop it. He bowed his head and cautiously moved off the steps towards him. About a few pace left he stopped. “I’m  …. scared. I was absolutely terrified that you still had the urge to catch KID-” He inhaled and shook his head. “To catch me. When you said that you didn’t well … I got relieved and happy.  Down right ecstatic! I just laughed reflexively. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I never wanted ….” 

He broke off and blushed. The monocle was cool to his palm when he lifted it and held it out to the detective- no friend in front of him. Hakuba was his FRIEND. He wanted him to know. “You were right, have always been right. I can understand if you don’t want to talk to me or even …” he swallowed. “see me but can you at least take this. It’ll bring you luck. This one was my fathers and has managed to keep me safe. So hopefully it’ll bring some of that protection or luck or whatever to you. You can go back to England – to home with your head held high. You had caught me the moment you figured everything out and I’m sorry.” 

He sighed and chewed at his bottom lip. Gently he laid the metal and glass disk on the side walk in front of him, turned and walked back into the Kuroba home. 

It was all a bit much for Hakuba to take in at once. He listened without moving, back to Kaito, turning to look away as he spoke, but his feet stayed rooted to the spot. He didn’t take the offered monocle; he didn’t even see the outreaching hand. Really, he couldn’t even see much past the blur, eyes brimming with tears that he held back.

What did it mean? Did Kuroba trust him? Hakuba swallowed, head hanging with eyes closed as he listened… and waited until the door closed before doing anything at all, gradually unclenching his fists, letting his shoulders sag. 

He turned, glancing down to the walk and held his breath as he knelt to retrieve it. This was Kuroba Toichi’s?  The detective turned it over in his hand, fingerpads pressing over the rim, the cord, the charm. It was beautiful, authentic, and hard, physical evidence. Evidence he could use to have Kuroba Kaito arrested for his crimes. Hakuba glanced at the door, then back at the object in his hands, wondering what to do. 

You were right, have always been right… You caught me the moment you figured everything out and I’m sorry. 

Hakuba heard the hitch in his breath before he felt it, choking on the sudden surge of emotions that came out in a tangled mess. He’d wanted it confirmed for so long. He’d been right. He’d trusted his instincts, done his homework, and stayed the course despite everyone shutting him down. No one had believed him, but he’d been right. He’d been right and Kuroba had admitted it. 

He wasn’t a failure. 

You can go back to England – to home with your head held high. 

Tucking the monocle into an inside pocket of his suit jacket, he turned back too walk to his car, wooden box under his arm. He’d come for advice and gotten it… gotten more than, even; a victory, a potential friend, an olive branch of trust. 

And now he wasn’t sure if he wanted to go home. 

At least he managed to make it back to his car before the tears came in a wave, strangling him and his chest as he sank into the seat. What was he going to do? Why had Kuroba decided to trust him now? Was it because he was leaving? Was he no loner a threat? Was it a parting gift? A way of saying ‘now you don’t ever need to come back’? What if he wanted to?

He sobbed into his arms in the open-topped red convertible, shoulders shaking, bent over the steering wheel. There was too much pain, too much relief, too many feelings all wrapped up that he couldn’t adequately deduce. And, hard as he cried, it didn’t seem to help. 

Instead of a answer, he only found himself with more questions.