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askkaitokid: “No one gets hurts during my heists (aside from Nakamori-Keibu’s rising blood pressure)! Feelings included.” ((Cue gross sobbing from Hakuba and Hakumun. Omg thank you. ;-; We are trying I promise. Things will be okay. Just been a rough patch but we are Super High School Level DETERMINED!
From the Desk of S. J. Hakuba: @askkaitokid
KID hung up the phone and sat back on his chair with arms crossed in front of his chest. ‘More sophisticated’? Ha! Just because Hakuba goes around jesting with a pocket watch and notebook in hand doesn’t mean he is sophisticated! After all, /he/ was the Magician under the Moonlight! The Gentleman Thief!
But enough of that. A mischievous smile crossed KID’s face. He casually walked to his kitchen cabinet, making sure to grab the cheapest packet of tea leaves (it must have been a freebie from school, he couldn’t remember), the bottle of vinegar that he haven’t touched for months, and a dozen sugar cubes. If tea was what that Brit wanted, then tea he will get!
Several minutes later, Baaya dropped Hakuba off (his car was still in the shop, though the mechanics were fairly certain that it was totaled and there was no hope of restoration) in front of the Kuroba residence. He brought with him not the medical field bag, but a box of chocolates, and carried these with a smug smirk right up to the door to knock. Oh ho, what a clever trick, bringing a gift for the naughty thief~!
From the Desk of S. J. Hakuba: @askkaitokid
“…well, at least it’s not dying of /laughter/ from my overreactive care. Hmf.”
“Well, if it makes you feel better, you can still come over with your field bag~! (After all, as a gentleman thief, I wouldn’t want to turn down my fans~)”
“What would the…
"Ah? Correct me if I am wrong, but it certainly appears to me that all detectives (or at least the ones I have talked to) have absolutely no sense of humor. Or maybe you declined so quickly because you are not confident in your medical skills?”
/Suture my mouth shut? Hakuba no yarou just you wait until I turn your hair green at school!/
“Oh, I’m /quite/ confident in my medical skills… I didn’t decline; just that I didn’t need to bring my field bag. And, please! We detectives are /very/ funny when the situation and circumstance calls for it… our brand of humor is just a bit more… sophisticated than yours. Hmf.
"At any rate, I’ll be right over… given that I know where you live and all. Please have tea ready~”
“…well, at least it’s not dying of /laughter/ from my overreactive care. Hmf.”
“Well, if it makes you feel better, you can still come over with your field bag~! (After all, as a gentleman thief, I wouldn’t want to turn down my fans~)"
"What would the point be in bringing my field bag if you’re not actually injured? While administering medical care for no good reason would certainly cure your boredom, it does not sound safe nor very fun at all. I suppose I could suture your mouth shut, but honestly that seems in poor taste, too.”
Hakuba, of course, neglects to mention the obvious implications of ‘playing doctor’ with Kaitou Kid, and the subsequent merits therein.
“…well, at least it’s not dying of /laughter/ from my overreactive care. Hmf.”
“Oh~? Fancy seeing you here, Hakuba. As for your question, handcuffs are handy things to catch petty criminals, but I can assure you that I am no ordinary thief. That, I am sure you already know.”((GUyS guys!!111 There’s another Kaitou Kid! And look! He called Hakuba a bastard. I like him already!!!)
“Know that I do… which is precisely why I felt the need to ask. I’m not exactly your average detective, either. So here’s my next question: are you ready to start running?”
“Ah, is that so? Well, Hakuba, thank you for the kind offer, but I must refuse as I see no threat in front of me. ”
“Ah… Kaitou… Kaitou-san! You…!”
“Ah, thank you for the…information, dear anonymous. I was certainly not aware of that. However, what Hakuba does in his free time is none of my concern so long as it does not interfere with my work."
“Wh-what?! I don’t… No! No, I don’t have any of those! They’re referring to the actual harem of… God, never mind. Never mind.”
“Use his money to buy first rate chocolate of course~! It must be nice living as a bocchan.” (There really should be more important things that I could do, but that was the first thing that came to mind.)
I have the very strong impression that this Kaitou hates me for some reason (perhaps I haven’t been very kind to him… I know I have a tendency to be very obnoxious from time to time, particularly when investigating) … however
…however, this is so adorable I.. I…
I’ll buy you expensive chocolates, Kaitou-san! Please don’t hate me. Your smile is so cute. ;-;
(bonus)
“Excellent! I’m pleased to see that you’re finally listening to reason…”
“Ah, wait, what have I gotten myself into?”
