Imagine Kid reading your mind while you’re fantasizing about kid. With handcuffs, doves and copious amounts of ribbon. ;)

“…I don’t know what the doves and ribbon have to do with it, but ah, well… ah… … … that could get interesting.  Is he reading my mind and feeling agreeable? I suppose even if he’s disgusted, the object of this is to get me to blush, so I’ll go with a 7 for either case.”

Imagine: After the retirement of Kid, Kaito takes you out for a fancy steak dinner. He seems unaccountably nervous through the meal. For the dessert course, the waiter brings out a heaping slice of chocolate mousse cake to share and two flutes of champagne. When he sets the glass in front of you, you instantly see the small gold band resting in the drink. Your eyes snap to Kaito and he offers an uncertain smile. “I imagined promising you the sun, moon, and stars, but… want to make a go of it?”

“That’s a little unfair of you, anon-san, playing with my feelings like that.  Have a solid 9… which is probably the best anyone’s going to get, since I like to leave a margin for error.”

Well, when I say ‘some of them’ I mean ones that you’re closer to already, and they’d likely be grinning as they got closer. One might come out from behind to surprise you, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you got stuck in the middle of a Kaitou cuddle pile. I’d say watch your clothes, but you might get a bit distracted, even if you were watching one unbutton your suit in front of you. The Kaitous are good at being distracting alone, I can’t actually imagine what a group would be like.

“This all sounds vaguely terrifying, but I suppose I am blushing, so… six?”

More detail? OK. You’re standing on a roof, watching a white speck fly off. You know it’s a dummy… so where’s the real thief? You get your answer as hands grab you and press you against a wall, lips kissing you fiercely, before you can react. Hands run down your body, removing enough of your clothes so he can stroke and grope bare flesh… shall I continue?

“N-no, that won’t be necessary. Ah, I’ll give that an 8.”

I bet we’re all curious to know- what was your very first case as a detective? Did you solve it?

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“Ah, there’s some debate with that, as I was always ‘solving’ cases from a young age, whether there were mysteries to solve or not. I do recall the first case in which I assisted, but my name was not involved in the official paperwork, so I won’t mention that here. Rest assured, it resulted in a successful arrest. 

"The first official case in which I was actually named was one of a serial bank robber. I was fourteen, still short and ‘squeaky,’ having not yet "lost my spots,” as my mum would say, and recovering from some time in the hospital at home in front of the telly. Much of the time was spent watching movies and catching up on series that I’d been neglecting, but the rest of the time was dedicated to the news… which is how I caught the inconsistencies being presented about a serial bank robbery case.

“I find it fascinating how the different media groups will present the same information in completely different lights. Spin doctors, every one of them. It makes it difficult for the lay person to follow any particular story with complete accuracy, especially as they’ll usually stick to the newscaster that best represents their own bias. 

"This is why I tend to switch between all channels, gathering bits and pieces of story in an attempt to compose a more complete version of the story from the differing viewpoints. Adding in research from the internet and some additional phone calls, as well as my own personal experience with the layout of London, I was able to catch on to a handful of startling things that were being missed or misrepresented in the reports… and so called Scotland Yard.

"Of course, they weren’t interested in listening to a young boy with his theories, though the receptionist did take my information down – or at least pretended that she was. I tried to contact them several more times, but was met with nothing but red tape. So, I did what any young detective would do, and left home on my bicycle, took three buses and then the tube up to Scotland Yard, and snuck in to yell at the police chief, myself. And I did, for the better part of ten minutes, with flushed face, clenched fists, and about every colorful word I could think, expressing my frustration. 

"Looking back on it, I’m somewhat mortified at my conduct, but of course Mr. Hale decided to humor me and listen – such a splendid man – took notes, allowed me to point out the fallacies on which the police were operating under, and… to my surprise, he called in his team and asked me to explain it again.”

“Long story short, my observations were instrumental in proactively circumventing the crime spree, and all of the culprits were arrested without further complication. Chief Hale commended me in an interview and gave a strong PSA about trusting what you see on the telly, suggesting that everyone ought to give critical thinking a try. 

"From then on, I was welcome in Scotland Yard as a sort of honorary detective, and it wasn’t long before they began calling me to help with some particularly difficult cases. I ended up becoming an intern there… probably for tax reasons, though they liked to joke that I didn’t quite have Sherlock Holmes’ ‘consulting detective’ status yet."