((He drank too much, but it was all rum and cocktails made with rum, and some more rum. As for how many unicorns, I’m going to guess 3 1/2.))

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the-suit-man: http://the-suit-man.tumblr.com/ NOT GOLDEN RETRIEVERS BUT THESE ARE STILL BEAUTIFUL SIGHT HOUNDS I knew it. My favorite aggregater blog knows that I exist and loves me, perhaps at least a third as much as I love it.
(( hun are you sure you didn’t drink any alcohol with him, because im starting to worry about you as well))
((very sure I did not; I am just qwertyfacing on my keyboard again :3 ))
Drunk Text Requests Now Closed!
Thank you all for participating, that was really way too much fun to be legal. (Especially since Hakuba’s not strictly legal re: drinking age.)
Tonight’s adventures were brought to you by a whole lot of Bacardi Rum~!
It’s safe to say that the detective is unconscious now. How much will he remember in the morning? How much will he utterly regret? How many friends will he still have?
The answer to all three of this are the same: no one knows. And that, my friends, is the scariest truth of all. We can only hope that he learns from this experience and refrains from repeating his mistakes.
Thank you all for your patience during this wild and crazy escapade. We will return to our regularly scheduled post replies and asks once he is over his hangover.
Sincerely,
The Management
ps. the mun did not consume any alcohol during the entirety of this special radio drama. any actions that appear contrary are purely the result of sleep deprivation and hypothyroidism. thank you for your time and attention. <3

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the-suit-man: http://the-suit-man.tumblr.com/ ((still convinced they’re spying on me; perhaps in league with the unicorns? just waiting on golden retrievers, still… perhaps it’s in the queue.))
//-casually requests a drunk text ohmy hellothere~~-
[text] onceupon atime there was a girl who waited by her window nd shewiated and waited and wiated
[text] and waited and waited nwad waitned and wiated
[text] sndna wited
[text] andfinally he cmae nad told her that they were going to go striaghto ntil morning
[text] scond star to the right
[text] itjust rmeind meof you
[text] only i gotmore flowers
[text] cani brorw oyur hat
re: drunk hakuba
(guys he is going to have the worst hangover in the history of ever tomorrow. he normally doesn’t drink this much, I don’t know what happened. One minute he was talking about how he actually liked himself, the next he got out the scotch… and the rum… and then it was pub crawling…? can you even do that in Japan??????
(we should probably assume that Akira and/or Subaru dragged him away from the bar and got him safe in bed but man oh man what in the world will he wake up to no one even knows this is scary plus unicorns??????)
[ Drunk Text ~? ^^ ]
[text] kohai
[text] conankoahai
[text] lpk onaj kohainan edogkawa kun
[text] yuo are sefretly a koala
[text] i’m on to you
[text] lcng to me nstead of hattori
[text] ilove you kohai
/ Delete /
((this is probably the best response he could have hoped for))
(sobsobsob)
((Drunk text~~~))
[text] masumir-sanchan i just nwated to let you knwo that i htink gthatwe should be friends
[text] the restojms for thisw are as follows:
[text] 1) we javer smismialra interestests ( girls??>?? boys??? )
[text] 2) we arbe rb poth allergedly detectives
[text] 3) we woish conan was outr sapprenteices
[text] acti;hlh; i guess that makes usw RUVALS
[text] prepare youtrself!!!111
[ Drunk Text ~? ^^ ]
[text] kohai
[text] conankoahai
[text] lpk onaj kohainan edogkawa kun
[text] yuo are sefretly a koala
[text] i’m on to you
[text] lcng to me nstead of hattori
[text] ilove you kohai