whiteknighthakuba:

“While undoubtedly delicious, three hundred seems a tad excessive, doesn’t it? I may nip one or two for myself, but if it’s all the same to you, I’d like to share the rest with my followers… Let’s see, two hundred ninety-eight divided by twenty is… 14.9 cookies per follower.”

“That’s still… quite an unhealthy ratio of cookies per person. But, wait, perhaps if I take an equal share and also send some over to those blokes with the very nice car…  That’s three hundred divided by twenty-three, leaving us with 13.043 per person…”

"No, no, that won’t do at all… I can’t imagine that anyone should want more than two cookies, but that would mean that I would need one hundred and fifty people to give cookies to… I suppose I could take them to my father’s office but even that would be excessive and then I would have to worry that my father’s colleagues are assuming that I’m trying to gain additional favor… and I can’t have that!”

“Perhaps one of the upcoming charity events? No… then I’d have to register them and it would not be coming from a proper catering service which would raise suspicion that we’re cutting budgets… and if I just left them there discretely, they would suspect that they were poisonous…”

“Actually, I don’t know the origin of these cookies in the first place… How do I know that they are safe for anyone to consume, much less my fans, friends, family, and colleagues?!”

"…I could always send them to Hattori-san… but I believe by this point that may be suspect for several different reasons.”

“I would just throw them away and be done with it, but I wouldn’t want to be rude. It was awfully considerate of that person to send me cookies in the first place, especially as I do love the occasional treat…" 

"Well! I suppose I ought to get on testing these cookies to ensure their quality and safety. then. It should only take me three or four hours to reach a conclusion.”

“This would be a much easier problem to solve now… with a little creative cutting, every one of my followers could have approximately one and a half cookies each, not including myself. Alas, those cookies are long since gone, now.”