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“Pocky Day…? Oh! I see. Because the date – November 11th – written numerically as 11.11 looks a bit like sticks of pocky. Does that mean that you’re supposed to play the pocky game today? Is that what this faux holiday is about? What if you’re not overly fond of pocky? I mean, they’re all right, but there are certainly better ways to use your calories, aren’t there? And what if I don’t exactly have someone close at hand to play with? Is it a necessary task for the day? Will Pocky Day not be complete unless I play the game? Or does it not matter as it’s not an official bank holiday, anyway?”

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Insanity, Pawns, Delirious

Insanity

Hakuba does often wonder if his paranoia borders on insanity. He has a ridiculous amount of contingencies set up in the event of his untimely demise, most of which involves delivering information about his various cases into hands that he believes are capable of handling them. Sometimes, as he writes the letters that he sets aside for this purpose, he has to stop and ask himself if he is, in fact, insane. 

Pawns

One of the reasons why my Hakuba hates the Spider that I’ve written in his backstory is that he uses a combination of white widow cocaine and a drug called scopolamine on his targets and bystanders… This allows him to produce those illusions, each tailored to a person’s individual fears (think Batman’s Scarecrow), and makes them very willing volunteers for whatever Spider wants them to do. For the criminals that he assassinates, it usually involves forcing them to play out their worst nightmare before they die. Since Hakuba’s not really a target, he’s only seen glimpses of this, but both times (especially the first), left him shattered, angry, and terrified.  

Delirious

The nightmares will sometimes have this effect. It doesn’t happen often, but the nightmares, or something will trigger his PTSD and suddenly the eidetic memory kicks in and Hakuba turns from a professional, level-headed detective to a crying mess on the floor, or scrambling to escape. Just the right combination of triggers and you can have him screaming bloody murder and stuck reliving the past until he’s snapped out of it. 

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Headcanon: love uwu

Hakuba is the type to fall quickly for many different types of people. It’s difficult for him to see just what’s going to stick, as there are so many facets of a person that are important, and he’s so very picky. Interest sparks for many, but very few go on to be flames, and fewer still turn into those long-lasting fires. 

For him to fall in love with someone, successfully, it usually has to be a slow burn. Sparks of interest here or there, stringing along until it becomes a flame, but at some point there has to be a transition between Hakuba doing the pursuing (which is how he prefers to start things), to the other person showing equal interest and dedication. 

Trust is built over time. Secrets exchanged. A healthy amount of dirty laundry on the table. Clear the air. Decide that they’re still in it, still willing, still interested. Accept him for who he is. He’ll accept them for who they are. And then it becomes a mutual partnership. Friends, lovers, soulmates. He hopes for marriage. And then sharing his life – all of it – with whomever becomes his mate. 

Ideally, anyway. He’s ridiculously compatible with a lot of people, but rarely gives anyone a fair chance… too busy self-loathing and being defensive to, I guess. Ugh. 

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Torture hehehe :3

Headcanon for keyword: Torture

In Hakuba’s line of work, it’s often romanticized that detectives are kidnapped and tortured for information. Mostly, though, their work is a bunch of research and paper trails. There are confrontations, yes, which occasionally get violent, but they are not super spies like James Bond, nor are most detectives like Batman. 

That said, being a super high school level genius detective comes with a certain sort of territory that brings out some of the worst, especially for one who is more a private consultant than a legitimate member of the police force. There have been a couple of times where Hakuba has found himself in a situation where criminals have tried to get information from him, one way or the other. 

Terrified of this happening, Hakuba researched various methods to cope, which have actually come in handy. One of the things that criminals like to use is truth serums or other drugs, which Hakuba knows (from research) works by making the person feel compelled to talk. It’s not so much about truth as it is the culprit providing the topic, and the victim having to speak on said topic, which usually results in them spilling the information. So, Hakuba has invented several scenarios and speeches or reports, if you will, to give falsified or otherwise useless information readily enough that it confuses your captors.

I mean, this usually means getting beat up more… but at least the information is safe. He’s way more concerned about taking the secrets to the grave, though, so that’s something. 

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stuff I owe:

Please let me know if I owe you a reply and your name is NOT on this list (shortest to longest waiting):

  1. sxpphire-sky
  2. dark-reflections
  3. smokebombsandmirrors (x3)
  4. miyanohaibara
  5. thenightmarebyyourside
  6. crystalizedrainbow
  7. kuroba-k (x3 2)
  8. littledetective
  9. baiganraltaica
  10. ft-dc-fan
  11. harajukuharuspex (x2)
  12. patientxpetals
  13. daughterofthesleuth
  14. osakandetectivehattori (x3)
  15. britishhsdetectivehakuba
  16. kaitouxjeanne
  17. askkudoushinichi (x2)
  18. meitanteiosaka (x2)
  19. detectivephiliac
  20. akaikujixyaku
  21. shsl-queenofcakes (x2)
  22. officertakagi

Plus a bunch of asks/meme responses/etc that I need to write. 

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meet the muse ;

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LEGAL NAME: Saguru James Hakuba
ALIAS[ES]: Sherlock Holmes of the new century (hah)
DATE OF BIRTH: August 29th
GENDER | SPECIES: Male || Human
PLACE OF BIRTH: Tokyo General Hospital, Japan
CURRENT LIVING CONDITIONS: Sharing an enormous, empty house with his governess and father
SPOKEN LANGUAGES:  English, French, Japanese
EDUCATION: High School, some college
OCCUPATION: Student, detective
CRIMINAL RECORD:  None (on record)
DRINK | SMOKE | DRUGS:  Yes/Yes/Not since middle school

LIKE[S]: Sherlock Holmes, books, reading, cases, mysteries, hawking, camping, jogging, tennis, animals, drinking, being right, paperwork, agreeable people
DISLIKE[S]: Aggressive people, drug addicts/dealers, ladders, getting down from trees, people messing with his stuff, jokes at his expense
FEAR[S]: Ghosts, hell, demons
PERSONALITY TRAITS:  Professional, analytical, aloof, reserved, gentle, generous, polite, observant, defensive

{ P H Y S I C A L   I N F O R M A T I O N }

HAIR COLOR: Sandy blond
EYE COLOR: Brown
HEIGHT:  5’11"
TATTOOS: None

{ F A M I L Y   I N F O R M A T I O N }

SIBLING[S]: None
PARENT[S]: Junpei Hakuba, Marion Wickham
CHILDREN: None (Akira in several timelines)
PETS[S]: Watson (Eurasian Sparrowhawk)

{ R E L A T I O N S H I P   I N F O R M A T I O N }

SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Pansexual
RELATIONSHIP STATUS: ??? married to his work usually ???

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[ ♔ ] meet the puppeteer

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name: Melissa (just call me Gab though)
height: 5’6”
eye color: blue
favorite color(s): idk… ultramarine blue, sage green, crimson red, orange…
best school subject(s): english, art, and get this – math!
current shirt color: blue and white
day or night: night ’(ovo)’ hoot
religion: agnostic theist
gender: female
sexual orientation: demi
single or taken: taken
celebrity crush: eYEBROWS 
coffee or tea: iced tea mmm… 
favorite food: curry rice or tacos or sushi