I decided to answer this publicly because I have been keeping a lot of things under wraps lately. *HUGS first, though!* 

Things have been crazy stressful. I think I’ve been doing better than I have been, but it has not been without great effort. I’ve always struggled with depression, but things came to a head last summer as the past ten years all caught up to me and I more or less had a series of nervous breakdowns and ended up losing my job as a result… which sucked since we were already facing financial ruin.

Six months later, I finally have a new job, but now I’m gone from the house for ~12 hours a day, and my hubby is on the job market again, too. So we’re still so, so, so broke (like months behind on rent & car payment, with our phones off, checks bouncing, overdraft fees), and now busier than ever… so the house is a mess… AND the person who owns this house is coming next month to visit and may or may not evict us then. Uh. Yeah. One thing is for sure, as soon as we can afford it, we’re filing for bankruptcy.

Did you know that you can be too broke to file for bankruptcy? 

At least the medication seems to be helping with the anxiety and having to get up so early and run around for work has helped with the insomnia. There’s ever-looming, heavy guilt from being so far behind with replies and commissions and things, but I have to keep reminding myself that at least I am pushing through suicidal thoughts and barely keeping my head above water. 

This is why I haven’t been online lately, though.  

Uhhhh… so let’s see, to recap… depression, financial worries, may or may not be homeless soon (or moving?), guilt, stress… but new job that is fun and fulfilling even though it takes up a LOT of time? I get health insurance starting next month, though. Which is amazing because I haven’t had it in two years… even though I need to be getting my blood tested every 6 months or so because of that whole cancer thing. 

IDK

I just need to be patient. And keep going. And hopefully things will work out. 

For now, though, I should get to bed!