aries: moody as fuck
taurus: too stubborn to agree on anything with their partner plus already in a relationship with food
gemini: not committed enough and never has the time
cancer: too busy crying and watching tv
leo: too needy
virgo: still waiting for their manic pixie dream girl/boy to save the day
libra: no reason ur perfect
scorpio: trust issues and jealousy
sagittarius: ur always drunk or hyper and u don’t know what you want
capricorn: too dry and serious abut everything
aquarius: too insensitive
pisces: would rather daydream about a relationship than actually have one