At first Kaito simply listened, watching Hakuba’s face while doing so and letting his hands rest on the injured leg, one slightly below the knee, the other a little off the scar. He clearly registered the anxiousness his patient was showing and together with the words started forming a hypothesis.
“Mhh”, he answered noncommitally at first, more to let Hakuba know that he’d heard. Then he focussed on the brown eyes before him. “It is more pain than I would have expected from what I’ve seen on your file and on your skin. But Hakuba-san, there is no norm you’re supposed to meet. There is no exact manual for a human body, each and everyone is different and reactions can vary. You’re not bound to feel anything but what your body tells you.” He took another short look at the leg and then leaned back, removing his hands to lean back a little.“Let me humour you with some of my thoughts,” he began. “This incident has clearly shaken you up, as it would anybody and the person I’ve got to know in you is someone who prefers to have some control over himself and the situation around him. Injuries like this one though are things we can’t control by our will. They happen suddenly and then they’re there, confining you to medical attention where you are dependant, limiting your movement against your will. They force you to change your life around them.
"It is frustrating and sometimes it feels like you’ll never get anywhere, because no one will have the guts to assert you that it will be alright again, preferrably even give you a date for your full recovery. I assume you’ve always given your hardest and probably already experienced how it feels like when you push too hard. I daresay you pushed it too far more than just once and remember very clearly that it had hurt and felt like you were walking backwards within your recovery.
"I can see that you’re anxious, Hakuba-san. I guess you fear to fall or already have fallen behind on some given recovery schedule or that your case just won’t get any better. That I might say that there’s nothing I can do.”Taking a short break, Kaito got up to remove a bottle from a shelf and sat back down with it.
“There is no schedule and you haven’t fallen behind anything. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. I ain’t going to tell you that I’ll stop before I even tried. I see no reason not to work with you.
It’s not bad if it hurts, because we are going to do something against it. And pain is not an enemy, pain is just one way of your body talking to you.
"I have changed my mind about testing the hell out of you today. What I’m planning now is having you relax for the ten minutes we have left, while I’m giving your scar a little massage helping it keep recover so well. What do you say?”
Although he really didn’t want to, Hakuba let the fear show in his eyes as he listened to Kaito speak, practically hanging on every word while holding his breath. Gradually, his cheeks colored with embarrassment and he let his gaze drop down to his leg again, head hanging in shame, guilt, and growing anxiety.
Kaito was right. Of course he was right. He hated feeling so weak and useless. He hated not being able to work, that he couldn’t get around without considerable time and effort, and that it hurt so god damned much all the time. He’d followed doctors’ and therapists’ orders to the letter, but had pushed himself harder than was probably necessary.
Was it over, then? Was he ruined? He wondered, fretting as Kaito walked away from him, chewing on his lower lip. How was he supposed to take care of Akira if he couldn’t even walk properly?
Gulping, he reached for the pocket watch that he kept, running fingers over the engraved surface while he waited for Kaito to return, dreading the worst. What he said, though, surprised him, and Hakuba looked back up with a single spark of hope in his otherwise troubled face.
“Ah…” He stammered, blinking, and gave a small, submissive nod. “All right, then… yes, I think that’d be fine. Thank you.”
He was no less embarrassed, but the relief he felt was palpable. Honestly, if he could get out of the office without having to admit his failings out loud, and without much more pain, the detective would be satisfied to go home and ignore the world for the rest of the day.