((so Heiji and Hakuba had a haiku battle))
setting: a balcony at night, drinking sake while doing a moon-viewing. traditionally, one is supposed to recite poetry during this.
Heiji: Isn’t th’ moonlight
rather beautiful tonight?
Naa, Hakuba.
Hakuba: Yes, it is rather beautiful.
Heiji: Ya fail utterly.
Not even realizin’…
Yer rather hopeless~
Heiji: Drawin’ a blank, huh?
I don’t blame ya, Hakuba.
It ain’t that easy.
Hakuba: It is not as though …
I’ve a terrible accent..
to bend the rules with?
Heiji: Ya’ve figgered it out.
I speak Japanese just fine.
Don’t insult me, prat.
Hakuba: You cannot blame me,
a half-blooded foreigner,
for finding it hard.
Heiji: Half-blooded’r not,
poetry’s fer th’ cultured.
Some just can’t do it~
Hakuba: Ah, actually,
I meant understanding /you/;
the poetry’s fine.
Heiji: Ya’ve got a point there.
A foreigner like ya can’t
follow proper speech.
Hakuba: You speak too quickly!
It’s difficult to keep up,
much less understand.
Heiji: Tokyo-ben’s too slow.
Ain’t my fault ya can’t keep up.
Ya should really learn.
Hakuba: Oh please, Hattori;
I’ve learned /proper/ Japanese,
not your Kansai-ben.
Heiji: Kansai-ben’s proper!
Stop insultin’ me, will ya?
We’re wastin’ moonlight.
Hakuba: My apologies;
you are just so fun to tease!
Pass the sake, please~
Heiji: Here’s yer blasted drink.
Good rice, good year, good sake.
Hope ya choke on it.
Hakuba: And here I had thought,
as foolish as it may be,
that we’d become friends!
Heiji: Ya mean we ain’t friends?
An’ here I thought we might’ve
had somethin’. Ah well.
Hakuba: …You did just tell me,
if I am not mistaken,
to choke on sake.
Heiji: Ya mean ya wouldn’t
enjoy CPR from me?
Ya’d be missin’ out.
((and then Hakuba gave up))