“No, I didn’t know. But I can’t really say that I’m surprised by it,” she answered to his first question. “You’ve displayed quite a few self-destructive tendencies already.”
She paused not really sure how to continue. On one hand she wanted to cause him strenuous discomfort but on the other hand… she really just wanted to lie and sugar coat it. Obviously, neither one of those things were going to be helpful.
“I’m not going to lie to you. My original goal was to make Kuroba-kun jealous, or at the very least, notice me. No matter what I did, he completely ignored my advances. You were a rival, the perfect opportunity to make him upset.” It was the truth, no matter how painful. Lying wouldn’t get her anywhere. “It didn’t work of course. It never does…
"But even knowing that, I hesitated to end our fabricated relationship.” She bit her lip painfully, trying to keep herself grounded in the present. “You were loyal, kind, a good listener… and completely genuine… that terrified me. It scared me to think that you weren’t there because of my spell. So I tried to end it before you got too attached. Strike two, right?
"I used you to get to him even though it’s completely hopeless. I know that and I think I’ve always known that… even before. I don’t expect you to forgive me but I need you to understand that it wasn’t all make-believe. I’m not that heartless.”
“Hah…"
Hakuba stood for a moment, watching Akako as he processed what she’d said, giving that cold, sort of heart-broken laugh.
"Please, allow me to reiterate. You cast a spell, used me to try to attract Kuroba-san, and when you found out that I had fallen for you, dumped me and pushed me away. Because it scared you… that you were getting attached?”
He shrugged, helplessly. “And now, you don’t want me because I’m worthless, soiled, and self-destructive. Too dirty and common for your tastes. And you wonder why I’m self-destructive."