“Hmmmmm beside you knowing almost everything about me and probably having twenty-some odd files based on KID you’re making this difficult to say something you don’t know.” Kaito smirked and stretched his legs out as well. Ankles brushed against the detective’s leg and he hooked his hands behind his head.
“Something you don’t know. The assassin’s who are after me belong to a group call the Organization, Snake is the leader of the group and I despise every fiber of his pathetic being. I got shot by one of his lackeys at the heist last night and I’m praying to the GODS that he hasn’t committed suicide by cyanide molar.” He took a moment to collect himself and force down the memories of Jii. “I have about twelve different assistants who work with me at random heists. They are never together at the heists and I can’t tell you who they are because I respect their privacy and decision to support me and I’d lay down my life to protect them. I also have a give take relationship with one, Kudo Shinichi.” He smiled. He had some ‘fond’ memories of the detective.
“I’m an active member in the Underground criminal network and go to gatherings to find information about different targets whether they enter Japan legally or by other means. It also where I can buy most of my equipment supplies in bulk with out arising suspension. I have also had a very HEALTHY and active sexual life from which I know I have no children. If I did I’d keep them and be the father I never had.”
“My father …. was murdered by someone in that organization. By whom I don’t know but if I find out I’m not sure I won’t be able to hold myself back in killing them.” He shifted and covered his eyes. “I hate them, Hakuba, I hate them SO much.”
He laughed bitterly. “I have also never been in love. True I love my mother and I love Jii. I love Aoko like a sister but in love with someone … I don’t even I want to. I’d be so scared to lose them. I can’t lose them.”
He leaned over and sighed. He was tired. So tired of everything. “I can’t lose you.” He whispered lightly then exploded with emotion. Leaping in his seat he stared horrified at the wall. Pain and anguish crossed his face as he buried it in an attempt to hide. He brought his legs up to his face and curled in to a small ball. Everything was to keep those words from escaping into the room.
There was so much. Too much.
Overwhelmed, Hakuba listened in silence. He had responses for most of the information, even the more shocking revelations, but the words didn’t come. Wouldn’t come. Not until Kuroba was finished. Which was exceptionally difficult for him. Canned speeches pulled at his mind like sighthounds at the end of their leash, rabbit on the run, straining and whining to be released.
Kudou Shinichi. What did he have to do with Kid aside from the heist with the bloody clocktower that he’d missed? Just how close were they? Give and take relationship?
Twelve assistants – far more than he’d expected, but it made sense. He wouldn’t press for their identities, though he felt a twinge of jealousy. Kuroba wasn’t exactly alone in this, was he? Not like the detective was. No, that was ridiculous; they were colleagues at best. He knew that sort of relationship well.
Underground criminal network? No surprise there.
…healthy, active sex life. Uh. Hakuba felt the heat rise in his cheeks and kept his gaze focused squarely on the table in front of him, eyes widening. Not that he could talk; he’d had his suspicions about Kuroba and the way that he acted, the way he’d been so confident about certain things, but even so… He wish he hadn’t known, even if it made some things easier. It also, clearly, didn’t involve Nakamori Aoko.
All at once, he was far too aware of the other teenager’s contact with his leg, and he found himself completely unable to decide how he felt about it.
Still reeling, the blond almost missed the part about wanting Kaito wanting to murder someone. Someones. He blinked, glancing up at him, and regretted it the moment Kaito moved on to the next piece of information.
I have also never been in love.
What did that mean? He wasn’t in love. That meant he wasn’t in love with him. It hurt. God it hurt. For so many reasons. But then… But then…?
I don’t even I want to.
I’d be so scared to lose them.
I can’t lose them.
…I can’t lose you.
Hakuba shook his head, suddenly sucking in a breath at Kaito’s reaction, the movement, the sound, everything. He pushed back from the table, toppling the chair and sending it clattering to the floor. Then he stared. Frozen. Heart pounding. Trying to breathe. Dizzy, light-headed. So much information. So many emotions. So much of everything all at once, and coupled with the night before, coupled with the last time he was there, in that very same kitchen, with the scent of that very same goddamned tea…!
But he had to say something. Had to fill the silence. Had to react. And not by nearly flipping the table. He couldn’t keep standing there, shocked and startled and all together more like a deer in headlights than the proud and confident stag he was purported to be. Say something, you bloody git!
“I- ah… I…” Hakuba glanced around himself, eyes darting in panic as he struggled to summon any words that might be able to convey something of how he was feeling, even though he didn’t have a ruddy clue, himself.
“Just… just what are you trying to say, Kuroba-kun?” He gulped. “Y-you can’t be serious… I know what you said last night, but…”