He leaped at the sudden movement and ran to the opposite wall. “I’m sorry, Hakuba. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for it ….I just…..” He buried his face into his hands and shook. “I’m sorry. Look I can understand If you’re disgusted or weird-out by this. I just ….” His back hit the wall.
There was nothing he could do but apologize. Gods he was stupid. Confessing like that. ADMITTING that! He just destroyed that last little lifeline he had left with the detective. What was he supposed to do now?
“N-no… No I…” Hakuba shook his head, faltering from Kaito’s retreat, though he managed to, somehow, keep upright. “I’m not… I mean, I…"
It was frustrating to feel so much and not be able to express it. He ran a hand through his hair, furious with himself and the situation, agonizing over every second lost, and looked up to the ceiling just pleading for a moment to breathe.
The pocket watch. His fingers twitched, slipping into his pocket to retrieve the watch, which he fumbled, caressing, flipping it open to count. There wasn’t time for the whole ritual. He didn’t even look at the watch, just counted in his head. Deep breath. Slow exhale.
He didn’t dare approach, much as he wanted to, his own feelings too raw, his fear of scaring Kuroba off too near.
When he continued, Hakuba spoke in English. Proper. Earnest.
"Please don’t misunderstand me, Kuroba.” He paused. “Kaito. I’m not disgusted, just terribly confused. It’s difficult to take in all at once. But, for all that’s been said…” Hakuba said, hesitating, though he did all that he could to keep his voice steady.
“I’ve not changed my opinion whatsoever: I can’t lose you, either.”