{"id":9060,"date":"2016-03-17T05:15:45","date_gmt":"2016-03-17T05:15:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/2016\/03\/17\/if-someone-isnt-available-during-your-most\/"},"modified":"2016-03-17T05:15:45","modified_gmt":"2016-03-17T05:15:45","slug":"if-someone-isnt-available-during-your-most","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/2016\/03\/17\/if-someone-isnt-available-during-your-most\/","title":{"rendered":"If someone isn’t available during your most crucial time, then their presence any other time is useless."},"content":{"rendered":"

neurotoxinsonline<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

mymindsecho<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

This isn\u2019t realistic for adults. I\u2019m sorry it\u2019s just not.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t fall into believing that, \u201cif they\u2019re a true friend they\u2019ll drop everything and run to be by your side!\u201d crap.<\/p>\n

As a responsible adult there will be times that your friends are hurting and you won\u2019t be able to go to them.<\/p>\n

There are times that you will have to go to work, or take your sick kid to the doctor, or do many other things that will prevent you from being there for your friend.<\/p>\n

When your friend calls you and they\u2019re falling apart and it\u2019s ten minutes until you have to leave for work, you\u2019re not a bad friend for saying, \u201cLook, I love you. I\u2019m sorry this is happening, but I have to go. I\u2019ll call you back tonight when the kids are asleep.\u201d Or \u201cI\u2019m so sorry this is happening. I love you and I want to be here for you but I\u2019ve got to get to work. I\u2019ll call and check on you during my lunch.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adult life is hectic and busy with important things all the time and unfortunately it\u2019s also full of shitty things happening to people we love.<\/p>\n

Do your best to be there for the people you love and ask for support when you need it but be understanding when being a responsible adult comes before helping you.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

The idea that people need to be there any time you need them is really damaging and unhealthy, too. You can\u2019t place value on a person or a relationship based solely on whether or not they\u2019re available, no questions asked, whenever you need them.<\/p>\n

In addition to the above: sometimes, someone simply does not have the energy to help. Maybe they\u2019re coming out of a rough patch themself, maybe they have been busy all day,maybe a chronic illness is flaring up. There are a myriad of reasons someone may not be able to be there.<\/p>\n

Obviously, if someone is taking you for granted, and never seems to care how you\u2019re doing, that\u2019s an issue. But to write someone off because their life and your life didn\u2019t line up quite right at a given point in time, or maybe even on more than one occasion, is not a healthy way to handle things.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

neurotoxinsonline: mymindsecho: This isn\u2019t realistic for adults. I\u2019m sorry it\u2019s just not. Don\u2019t fall into believing that, \u201cif they\u2019re a true friend they\u2019ll drop everything and run to be by your side!\u201d crap. As a responsible adult there will be times that your friends are hurting and you won\u2019t be able to go to them. … Continue reading If someone isn’t available during your most crucial time, then their presence any other time is useless.<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[3319,3323,3321,3322,3320,3318,3066],"class_list":["post-9060","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-3319","tag-frick","tag-it-is-a-thing","tag-its-part-of-what-makes-them-good-friends-in-the-first-place","tag-people-have-lives","tag-screams","tag-this","without-featured-image"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9060","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9060"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9060\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9060"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9060"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9060"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}