{"id":8647,"date":"2016-04-18T08:02:46","date_gmt":"2016-04-18T08:02:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/2016\/04\/18\/jumpingjacktrash-magic-circle\/"},"modified":"2016-04-18T08:02:46","modified_gmt":"2016-04-18T08:02:46","slug":"jumpingjacktrash-magic-circle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/2016\/04\/18\/jumpingjacktrash-magic-circle\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

jumpingjacktrash<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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magic-circle<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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actualanimevillain<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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sometimes you say or do bad things while you\u2019re in an awful mental place. sometimes you say things that are rude or uncalled for or manipulative. and i\u2019m not going to hold that against you. mental illness is hard, and no one is perfect. but once you\u2019re through that episode, you need to take steps to make amends. you need to apologize.<\/p>\n

\u201ci couldn\u2019t help it, i was having a bad episode\u201d is a justification, not an apology.<\/p>\n

\u201ci\u2019m so fucking sorry, i fucked up, i don\u2019t deserve to live, i should stop talking to anyone ever, i should die\u201d is a second breakdown and a guilt trip. it is not an apology.<\/p>\n

when you apologize, the focus should be on the person you hurt.\u00a0\u201ci\u2019m sorry. i did something that was hurtful to you. even if i was having a rough time, you didn\u2019t deserve to hear that,\u201d is a better apology. if it was a small thing, you can leave it at that.<\/p>\n

if you caused significant distress to the other person, this is a good time to talk about how you can minimize damage in the future. and again, even if it is tempting to say you should self-isolate and\/or die, that is not a helpful suggestion. it will result in the person you\u2019re talking to trying to talk you out of doing that, which makes your guilt the focus of the conversation instead of their hurt.<\/p>\n

you deserve friendship, and you deserve support. but a supportive friend is not an emotional punching bag, and mental illness does not absolve you of responsibility for your actions. what you say during a mental breakdown doesn\u2019t define you. how you deal with the aftermath though, says a lot.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Reminder<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

this is such a good post.<\/p>\n

please also remember that even if it\u2019s hard to do this, and even if you fuck up a bunch of times, it\u2019s still worth trying and you will still get there eventually.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Omg good post yes thank you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

jumpingjacktrash: magic-circle: actualanimevillain: sometimes you say or do bad things while you\u2019re in an awful mental place. sometimes you say things that are rude or uncalled for or manipulative. and i\u2019m not going to hold that against you. mental illness is hard, and no one is perfect. but once you\u2019re through that episode, you need … Continue reading <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8647","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","without-featured-image"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8647","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8647"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8647\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8647"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8647"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8647"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}