{"id":20849,"date":"2014-11-08T12:20:53","date_gmt":"2014-11-08T12:20:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/2014\/11\/08\/hi-hope-all-of-lifes-events-are-overwhelming-2\/"},"modified":"2014-11-08T12:20:53","modified_gmt":"2014-11-08T12:20:53","slug":"hi-hope-all-of-lifes-events-are-overwhelming-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/2014\/11\/08\/hi-hope-all-of-lifes-events-are-overwhelming-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Hi! Hope all of life’s events are overwhelming you. How are things??"},"content":{"rendered":"

gabapplewrites<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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\"image\"<\/p>\n

I assume you mean\u00a0aren\u2019t<\/em> overwhelming me\u2026 haha. Since departing from my day job, I\u2019ve had a lot of time to clean and sleep and work on some other projects. It\u2019s been kind of overwhelming because searching for jobs isn\u2019t very fun, but it\u2019s been nice to have some downtime to really think and, well, figure out how to sleep (which has been my doctor\u2019s #1 concern lately). I think things are getting better. I\u2019ve had a few job interviews, I actually started drawing again earlier this week (and injured my wrist in the process – oops!), and did a ton of agency research tonight (I think I have a dream agency\/agent now).\u00a0<\/p>\n

The end result is an excited and more stable Gab, I think, though this changes from day to day\u2026 everything is kind of up in the air, but I\u2019m working on it. Broke, and my desktop is dead, and I sure have bad days, and I\u2019m now sleeping too\u00a0much<\/em>, but taking steps in the right direction.<\/p>\n

\u2026incidentally, thank you so much for asking. <3 I get so wrapped up in the hanging clouds of doubt and depression that I forget that I actually DO have people out there who care. It\u2019s entirely too easy to forget sometimes, and the occasional reminder is so very, very helpful.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve started work on a secret illustration project to get me back into the groove, and have been thinking about\u00a0Fishsticks<\/em> a lot\u2026 I think, next week, I\u2019ll take some writing time and leave the house (thanks for lending me your car, mom), find a cafe somewhere, and just work on my ideas. It\u2019s NaNoWriMo,<\/a> after all, and I haven\u2019t won in a while!\u00a0<\/p>\n

There are a ton of past-due commissions I need to get taken care of, and I need to start contacting them to make a master list so I can keep working on them\u2026 for now, though, that I\u2019m drawing at all is a huge improvement over the past few\u00a0months<\/em>\u2026! I feel hopeful. But I think I mentioned that earlier (I took my ambien for the insomnia about 10 minutes ago, so if this post starts losing coherence, that\u2019s why).\u00a0<\/p>\n

Basically, depression is a pain, but I have been getting help and am working through it. It\u2019s just a slow process of tweaking things here and there, resting, riding out the burnout, rekindling that fire, and relearning my passions\u2026. returning to my roots, as it were. It\u2019s just going to take time. And, thankfully, everyone\u2019s been really understanding thus far.\u00a0<\/p>\n

We\u2019re still trying to figure out if we can go to FurCon in January or if I should get a refund for my table\u2026 in all likelihood, we\u2019ll have to\u2026 not only do we not have the funds to, well, pay our basic bills at all, but the travel expenses\u2026 AND I don\u2019t really have anything new to offer\u2026 It would be so fun to go, but I think we may have to bow out this year. I really need to do a whole new portfolio. Time + Energy is what I need.. alas, bills must be paid\u2026 \u00a0it\u2019s a tough cycle.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Anyway\u2026 I\u2019m kind of rambling now\u2026 but I\u2019ll post one of my recent drawing here just\u2026 just in case you\u2019re interested to see it\u2026 plus I\u2019m terrible at keeping secrets, and really excited about this project:<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Lots of flaws I\u2019m seeing in it now, but overall, I REALLY like a lot of the things I\u2019ve done here\u2026 Part of this project is to determine what feels good for me to draw, what I can manage quickly and without a lot of pain, keeping confidence levels high while presenting a \u2018polished\u2019 finished product. As I said, there are lots of mistakes here, but I\u2019m getting more and more comfortable with this sort of sketchy\/painterly style\u2026.\u00a0<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I also did this one, which is fun because I really do intend to become an author\/illustrator. That is my life goal. And in order to do this, I need to get damned good at both writing and illustrating. So working with some color theory and graphic design stuff etc\u2026 whatever.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Also this. It\u2019s a panda campaign, basically. To rediscover what it is I love about art and storytelling etc.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I have ideas again. I\u2019m excited about trying them. I wish my wrist weren\u2019t on fire so I could get to work on planning my novel. Fortunately, the ambien will have me unconscious in just a few more minutes.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

(It was drawing things like this with colored pencil that really messed me up, by the way\u2026 I need to stay away from colored pencil. I know I can\u2019t resist tearing my arm up with them but I do it anyway. Markers and watercolors are much safer, and digital is just better for me all around. Sob.)<\/p>\n

Anyway, tl;dr, I\u2019ve been studying art and writing, cleaning, sleeping, and otherwise enjoying my \u201ctime off\u201d while job hunting in the local area. Assuming we don\u2019t end up sleeping under a bridge come spring, perhaps things will fall into place for the next step in the overall Plan (whatever that is\/means). I don\u2019t even know.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Uhmmm\u2026 yes. I am still alive. Still kicking. I get up in the morning. Some days I even feel pretty good. Remembering meds 95% of the time now (which is actually really impressive for me), and when I went to the grocery store earlier, I actually smiled at people and got nods in return. Amazing.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I think, once I get my art up to snuff, I\u2019ll start converting my portfolio stuff to my ultra secret pen name, but that will\u2026 \u2026 take a while. So whatever.<\/p>\n

Thank you all for your support. I love you!<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

gabapplewrites: I assume you mean\u00a0aren\u2019t overwhelming me\u2026 haha. Since departing from my day job, I\u2019ve had a lot of time to clean and sleep and work on some other projects. It\u2019s been kind of overwhelming because searching for jobs isn\u2019t very fun, but it\u2019s been nice to have some downtime to really think and, well, … Continue reading Hi! Hope all of life’s events are overwhelming you. How are things??<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[44,1843,1842],"class_list":["post-20849","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-art","tag-because-it-has-secret-art-in-it","tag-reblogged-here-from-writing-tumblr","without-featured-image"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20849","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20849"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20849\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20849"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20849"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20849"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}