{"id":14800,"date":"2012-12-07T06:46:24","date_gmt":"2012-12-07T06:46:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/2012\/12\/07\/bloodberryandblazers-how-dominos-pizza-tracker\/"},"modified":"2018-12-05T02:39:02","modified_gmt":"2018-12-05T02:39:02","slug":"bloodberryandblazers-how-dominos-pizza-tracker","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/2012\/12\/07\/bloodberryandblazers-how-dominos-pizza-tracker\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-14800 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/2012\/12\/07\/bloodberryandblazers-how-dominos-pizza-tracker\/attachment\/14801\/#main'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/tumblr_meiu15LK6y1qetpyuo1_400-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/tumblr_meiu15LK6y1qetpyuo1_400-150x150.jpg 150w, http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/tumblr_meiu15LK6y1qetpyuo1_400-300x300.jpg 300w, http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/tumblr_meiu15LK6y1qetpyuo1_400-100x100.jpg 100w, http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/tumblr_meiu15LK6y1qetpyuo1_400.jpg 334w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt><\/dl>\n\t\t\t<br style='clear: both' \/>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/bloodberryandblazers.tumblr.com\/post\/37201009814\/how-dominos-pizza-tracker-saved-a-life-this-is-a\">bloodberryandblazers<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><u><strong>How Domino\u2019s Pizza Tracker Saved A Life<\/strong><\/u><\/p>\n<p>This is a story of why dating bipolar girls is not a good idea and how the Domino\u2019s Pizza tracker saved my life<\/p>\n<p>I have always been on the fence when it comes to Pizza Hut Vs. Dominos. I don\u2019t eat enough pizza from either to really have a concrete answer of which one makes a better pie. I can tell you one solid truth\u2026 As my last relationship ended and the lies, scandals and deceptions came out, after all was said and done, my psycho ex girlfriend did teach me one VERY important thing:<\/p>\n<p>ALWAYS choose Domino\u2019s over pizza hut.<\/p>\n<p>I had been having trouble with my now EX-girlfriend for quite awhile, I won\u2019t go into details, but let\u2019s just say she went crazy. I thought, simple: I\u2019ll just break it off.<\/p>\n<p>Wrong.<\/p>\n<p>One Friday night, around 8:00pm, after a long week of work and incessant phone calls\/psychotic voicemails from the unbalanced EX, I decided I was going to stay in, which one any weekend night is abnormal for me. Usually on weekend nights that I am in, I usually am cool with a movie, a 6 pack and a pizza. I had been ordering from Pizza Hut the last few times, but after a constant bombardment with Domino\u2019s \u201cWE\u2019VE CHANGED OUR SHIT, I SWEAR WE\u2019RE AWESOME NOW\u201d ad campaign, I decided to give it a shot.<\/p>\n<p>Around 8pm, I went online to order my pizza. I built a modest 2 topping medium pizza, and placed my order. You have to love how far we have come in the delivery pizza world.<\/p>\n<p>Immediately afterwards, I was introduced to the piece of a software that would save my neck.<\/p>\n<p><strong>The Pizza Tracker<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Pizza tracker? Fuck yeah, the pizza tracker. If you don\u2019t know what the pizza tracker is, then get your ass online right now and order a pizza from Domino\u2019s. It\u2019s the equivalent of a loading bar on a web browser, except at the end of the loading you get a delicious pizza.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2031\" height=\"219\" src=\"http:\/\/cdn.guysgab.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/pizza-tracker.jpg\" title=\"pizza-tracker\" width=\"575\" \/><\/p>\n<p>This is where the night got interesting.<\/p>\n<p>I am on my couch, one eye on \u201cParks and Rec\u201d the other on the pizza tracker displayed on my lap top that joined me on the couch.<\/p>\n<p>We had just entered stage 2: Prep.<\/p>\n<p>KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!<\/p>\n<p>For a split second I thought, \u201cwoh that was fast,\u201d I put my order in 10 minutes ago and pizza tracker says it\u2019s still in stage 2.<\/p>\n<p>By the end of my thought, the door swung open.<\/p>\n<p>Guess who.<\/p>\n<p>Yep, it was my psychotic EX. Knife in hand, she starts threatening to do some pretty awful things. I try to stand up, she freaks. I stay on the couch and attempt to calm her down. She goes into a hysterical rant about us getting back together, ya right, and I glance at the pizza tracker.<\/p>\n<p>Stage 3. Bake (Juan is putting your order in the oven)<\/p>\n<p>She goes on while all I can think is GO JUAN GO!!!! GET THAT SHIT IN THE OVEN!<\/p>\n<p>I try to calm her down, I stand up and she freaks out and tells me \u201cSIT THE FUCK DOWN!!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She continues on her violet outburst and I tell her we can work things out hoping to get her to calm down. It\u2019s no use.<\/p>\n<p>I decide I need to try and get to my phone. I inconspicuously try to look for my cell phone. Dammit! I left it my room. I am screwed. I am dead. The pizza man will get blamed for this! Oh, the poor pizza boy will be wrongfully blamed and get life in prison for what this unstable bitch is going to do to me.<\/p>\n<p>STAGE 4! BOX!<\/p>\n<p>FUCK YEAH! They are boxing up my pizza. Get your ass over here!<\/p>\n<p>She continues on for another 5 minutes. Trying to make eye contact, glancing at the pizza tracker every second she looks away.<\/p>\n<p>Stage 5! DELIVERY: Alejandro is delivering your pizza.<\/p>\n<p>GOD SPEED ALEJENDRO!!! MY LIFE AND YOUR FREEDOM RELY ON THIS!<\/p>\n<p>Knowing that the Alejandro is on the way, I try and just keep her talking, but the more she talks the more enraged she gets. I try to interupt, but that just makes things worse.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s been 10 minutes, Alejandro should be here any time.<\/p>\n<p>She continues, she is yelling at the top of her lungs about the things we could have been. I am still banking that Alejandro will be here any second and save the day.<\/p>\n<p>10 more minutes go by.<br \/>Alejandro GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR!<\/p>\n<p>SHE IS OFFICIALLY FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. She puts the knife up to her wrist and then takes it away. I am panicking. Where the fuck is Alejandro! Pizza tracker tells me we\u2019re still in stage 5. FUCK YOU PIZZA TRACKER , YOU\u2019VE BEEN IN STAGE 5 FOR 25 MINUTES!!!! I will never order from Domino\u2019s again!!! After this thought I immediately think to myself, I will be dead, so I will probably never order another pizza again.<\/p>\n<p>Right then, the cops come in. At gunpoint they calm her down and obtain the knife. Alejandro had shown up to the door wide open and saw psycho with the knife and went back to his \u201998 Honda Accord and called the cops. Domino\u2019s pizza literally saved my life. They should change the name from the pizza tracker to the savior tracker.<\/p>\n<p>Alejandro is the true definition of a hero. In a way, Alejandro is the 5th ninja turtle. He showed up, accessed the situation, didn\u2019t panic, and saved my ass from the bad guys. Oh yeah, and he brought a fucking excellent pizza too.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>bloodberryandblazers: How Domino\u2019s Pizza Tracker Saved A Life This is a story of why dating bipolar girls is not a good idea and how the Domino\u2019s Pizza tracker saved my life I have always been on the fence when it comes to Pizza Hut Vs. Dominos. I don\u2019t eat enough pizza from either to really &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/2012\/12\/07\/bloodberryandblazers-how-dominos-pizza-tracker\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\"><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"gallery","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14800","post","type-post","status-publish","format-gallery","hentry","category-uncategorized","post_format-post-format-gallery","without-featured-image"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14800","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14800"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14800\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14802,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14800\/revisions\/14802"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14800"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14800"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14800"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}