{"id":13944,"date":"2013-04-11T01:14:48","date_gmt":"2013-04-11T01:14:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/2013\/04\/11\/waywren-sellerdoor-bradofarrell-i-didnt\/"},"modified":"2018-12-05T01:08:54","modified_gmt":"2018-12-05T01:08:54","slug":"waywren-sellerdoor-bradofarrell-i-didnt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/2013\/04\/11\/waywren-sellerdoor-bradofarrell-i-didnt\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-13944 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/2013\/04\/11\/waywren-sellerdoor-bradofarrell-i-didnt\/attachment\/13945\/#main'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/tumblr_ml242qM4T31qznquyo2_500-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/tumblr_ml242qM4T31qznquyo2_500-150x150.jpg 150w, http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/tumblr_ml242qM4T31qznquyo2_500-100x100.jpg 100w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt><\/dl><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon portrait'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/2013\/04\/11\/waywren-sellerdoor-bradofarrell-i-didnt\/attachment\/13946\/#main'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/tumblr_ml242qM4T31qznquyo1_500-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/tumblr_ml242qM4T31qznquyo1_500-150x150.jpg 150w, http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/tumblr_ml242qM4T31qznquyo1_500-100x100.jpg 100w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt><\/dl>\n\t\t\t<br style='clear: both' \/>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/waywren.tumblr.com\/post\/47661805149\/sellerdoor-bradofarrell-i-didnt-want-this\">waywren<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/sellerdoor.tumblr.com\/post\/47646630333\/bradofarrell-i-didnt-want-this-to-show-up-in\">sellerdoor<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><strike><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/bradofarrell.tumblr.com\/post\/47642444039\/i-didnt-want-this-to-show-up-in-the-reblog-notes\">bradofarrell<\/a>:<\/strike><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><strike><small><small>I didn\u2019t want this to show up in the reblog notes for this picture but I also wanted to give credit to <a href=\"http:\/\/duedlyfirearms.tumblr.com\/post\/37299160031\/and-the-two-of-them-together-pretty-personal\">the artist<\/a> because it\u2019s really good art. But I see this picture on my dash all the time and it\u2019s really upsetting because it\u2019s promoting and\u00a0glamorizing\u00a0behavior that is really unhealthy. It needs an additional 8 panels where they try to talk but they don\u2019t have anything to talk about in person and they have no chemistry and they can\u2019t kiss without it feeling weird and then it takes less than 4 hours for them to decide they\u2019re better off being just friends.<\/small><\/small><\/strike><\/p>\n<p><strike><small><small>When you talk to someone online for years and meet them for the first time in person you\u2019re basically setting yourself up for an extremely awkward but extremely well researched blind date. Almost everything that matters in a romantic relationship is not something you can gauge by an online relationship. Things like how a person holds themselves in conversation and how they smell and how tall they are and how easy it is to hang out on the couch with them and how a solid week of hanging out together would unfold are all things you can not know from talking to someone online for years and they make up like 60% of what a relationship even is.<\/small><\/small><\/strike><\/p>\n<p><strike><small>Pretending a relationship is \u201call mental\u201d and assuming that if you get along on chat you\u2019ll get along in person is really juvenile and unfair to yourself. Even if you\u2019re gay. Even if you\u2019re a sexual minority. Even if you think there is no one in your home town you can date, and even if you\u2019re right, it\u2019s still not smart to put all your stock into someone over the internet.<\/small><\/strike><\/p>\n<p><strike><small>I mean it makes sense if you\u2019re young and in high school because it doesn\u2019t matter as much as your friendships with class mates don\u2019t matter. But please please please don\u2019t, like, not date people in your real life because you think you\u2019re dating someone online or god forbid move to their city without spending <strong>several weeks<\/strong> with them first.<\/small><\/strike><\/p>\n<p><strike><small>If you\u2019re in a place in your life where you think you need to be in an online relationship the healthiest option is to tough it out until you can change your situation to the point that real life relationships are available to you. But by letting yourself fall in love with someone online (which is SUPER EASY when you don\u2019t have to deal with the very real barrier of \u201cchemistry\u201d) you\u2019re setting yourself up for this weird thing where one of you has to make a big move to live with a stranger, which is always a bad choice, or for the thing to just fizzle out anyway.<\/small><\/strike><\/p>\n<p><strike><small>Don\u2019t do that. Move to another city. Go to a queer bar. Meet a nice real human being.<\/small><\/strike><\/p>\n<p><strike><small>Also I\u2019m not going to actually argue against anyone in this post because I\u00a0guarantee\u00a0if you\u2019re getting mad about reading this you\u2019re going to realize I\u2019m right a few hours after your awkward airport hug because I\u2019m speaking from both personal experience and the aggregate experience of every one of my friends who\u2019s tried to do this.<\/small><\/strike><\/p>\n<p><strike><small>It doesn\u2019t work, man, the internet is a venus flytrap for your heart.<\/small><\/strike><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>The only venus fly trap I see is your advice, which is completely subjective. Also, I find it hilarious how you tell us that you\u2019re not going to respond to any arguments against this post because we just \u201chaven\u2019t realized\u201d you\u2019re right yet, because there\u2019s no possible way someone could have\u00a0 a good opinion that goes against yours eh buddy? or should I say \u201cGod\u201d since there\u2019s no possible chance of you being wrong?<\/p>\n<p>Your \u201cadvice\u201d doesn\u2019t sound like factual or relationship advice, it sounds like you threw a tantrum over your internet partner not meeting your expectations in person, and because of this disappointment you displace your hurt feelings onto other people who have met in person and have had very happy and successful relationships, unlike yours.<\/p>\n<p>If it was such a \u201cfact\u201d that internet relationships coming to meet in person did not work out, then I don\u2019t understand how I\u2019ve been able to stay friends with people online I\u2019ve now met in person, or how so many of my friends are still happily together with their SO\u2019s and even (the gods in the clouds forbid) planning on moving in with each other some day.<\/p>\n<p>guess we all must be breaking the rules of science if your advice is such fact<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0relationships first met with people online (of the platonic or romantic variety alike) may not be well suited for everyone, but telling someone there\u2019s no chance of them ever working out is like telling someone not to buy a bouquet of beautiful flowers because one\u2019s thorn happened to prick you once.<\/p>\n<p>but then a prick for a prick would make an astounding amount of sense<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Fuck yourself sideways, first commenter. My online relationship got me out of a hellhole and gave me the strength to try being my own person. Everything else I\u2019ll leave to sellerdoor to say.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Remember that time<\/p>\n<p>when<\/p>\n<p>I was in love with someone over the internet and it was great and we decided to meet after being friends online for like 4 years and then we met and it was awkward for like 10 minutes until he hugged me<\/p>\n<p>and then we kissed on the 3rd day<\/p>\n<p>and then<\/p>\n<p>he moved here and we got married<\/p>\n<p>and we&rsquo;ve been very happily married for six and a half years<\/p>\n<p>and<\/p>\n<p>things are awesome?<\/p>\n<p>yeah internet relationships meeting in person always ends up poorly. totally.<\/p>\n<p>OH WAIT EVERY INTERNET FRIEND I&rsquo;VE MET IN PERSON AFTERWARD HAS BEEN AN EVEN CLOSER BETTER FRIEND. Gasp. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>waywren: sellerdoor: bradofarrell: I didn\u2019t want this to show up in the reblog notes for this picture but I also wanted to give credit to the artist because it\u2019s really good art. But I see this picture on my dash all the time and it\u2019s really upsetting because it\u2019s promoting and\u00a0glamorizing\u00a0behavior that is really unhealthy. &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/2013\/04\/11\/waywren-sellerdoor-bradofarrell-i-didnt\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\"><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"gallery","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13944","post","type-post","status-publish","format-gallery","hentry","category-uncategorized","post_format-post-format-gallery","without-featured-image"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13944","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13944"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13944\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13947,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13944\/revisions\/13947"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13944"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13944"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13944"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}