{"id":12717,"date":"2013-11-15T23:18:14","date_gmt":"2013-11-15T23:18:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/2013\/11\/15\/captainamerica-in-middle-earth-jessizzlez\/"},"modified":"2018-12-04T23:03:13","modified_gmt":"2018-12-04T23:03:13","slug":"captainamerica-in-middle-earth-jessizzlez","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/2013\/11\/15\/captainamerica-in-middle-earth-jessizzlez\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-12717 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon portrait'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/2013\/11\/15\/captainamerica-in-middle-earth-jessizzlez\/attachment\/12718\/#main'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/tumblr_mh5bg2KXCr1r16bwao1_1280-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/tumblr_mh5bg2KXCr1r16bwao1_1280-150x150.jpg 150w, http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/tumblr_mh5bg2KXCr1r16bwao1_1280-100x100.jpg 100w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt><\/dl><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon portrait'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/2013\/11\/15\/captainamerica-in-middle-earth-jessizzlez\/attachment\/12719\/#main'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/tumblr_mh5bg2KXCr1r16bwao2_1280-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/tumblr_mh5bg2KXCr1r16bwao2_1280-150x150.jpg 150w, http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/tumblr_mh5bg2KXCr1r16bwao2_1280-100x100.jpg 100w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt><\/dl>\n\t\t\t<br style='clear: both' \/>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/captainamerica-in-middle-earth.tumblr.com\/post\/67087346837\/jessizzlez-motivationforfitness\">captainamerica-in-middle-earth<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/jessizzlez.tumblr.com\/post\/55471197683\/motivationforfitness-foolishjourney\">jessizzlez<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/motivationforfitness.tumblr.com\/post\/53757501395\">motivationforfitness<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/foolishjourney.tumblr.com\/post\/53757205603\/ohneooo-mjolnirismymanhood\">foolishjourney<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/ohneooo.tumblr.com\/post\/42493372365\/mjolnirismymanhood-screamingthesilence\">ohneooo<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/mjolnirismymanhood.tumblr.com\/post\/42479496555\/screamingthesilence-alright-listen-up-my-little\">mjolnirismymanhood<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/screamingthesilence.tumblr.com\/post\/41408936149\/alright-listen-up-my-little-shits-apparently\">screamingthesilence<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>ALRIGHT LISTEN UP MY LITTLE SHITS<\/p>\n<p>APPARENTLY NOBODY\u2019S HEARD OF PROPER FUCKING ICE CREAM SANDWICHES SO I\u2019M GOING TO SHOW YOU FUCKS HOW TO MAKE ONE<\/p>\n<p>FIRST STRUT YOUR FINE ASS OVER TO YOUR FREEZY BOX AND GRAB YOURSELF SOME OF THAT SWEET WOMAN OF JESUS AUNT JEMIMA\u2019S WAFFLES AND YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM. IF YOU DON\u2019T HAVE YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM THAN JUST GRAB WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU GOT IN THERE. IF YOU DON\u2019T HAVE ANY DAMN ICE CREAM THEN SHIT MAN YOU\u2019RE OUT OF LUCK.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"image\" src=\"https:\/\/66.media.tumblr.com\/a0bcec68750fedfaf159a9e1abc7d842\/tumblr_inline_mh5a213Ccz1qljnk7.jpg\" \/><\/p>\n<p>IF YOU\u2019RE NOT A WHINY PANSY AND YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE BEING A HARDCORE MOTHER FUCKER THEN TOSS IN SOME OTHER SHIT YOU LIKE<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"image\" src=\"https:\/\/66.media.tumblr.com\/cdffcfeaf6fc4051839912306aa14d97\/tumblr_inline_mh5a47X90G1qljnk7.jpg\" \/><\/p>\n<p>BUT FOR RIGHT NOW I\u2019M GOING TO FOCUS ON ALL YOU PANSIES WHO WANT YOUR ICE CREAM UNTAINTED BY OTHER\u00a0SUCCULENT TOPPINGS<\/p>\n<p>RIP INTO THAT BOX OF SWEET AUNTIE\u2019S WAFFLES AND FIRMLY GRASP TWO<\/p>\n<p>NO MORE THAN TWO<\/p>\n<p>JUST DON\u2019T DO IT<\/p>\n<p>YOU ARE NOT YET READY FOR THE\u00a0COLOSSAL CREAM CLUB SUB\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>ONCE YOU HAVE THOSE TWO LITTLE SHITS IN YOUR HAND THROW THEM ACROSS THE ROOM SO THAT THEY LAND PERFECTLY IN YOUR TOASTER<\/p>\n<p>IF YOUR AIM SUCKS ASS JUST PUT THEM IN GENTLY WHILE TRASH TALKING YOUR TOASTER BECAUSE YOU\u2019RE STILL HARDCORE<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"image\" src=\"https:\/\/66.media.tumblr.com\/dcdab7188873b2229505cddfe620ce49\/tumblr_inline_mh5adshdWe1qljnk7.jpg\" \/><\/p>\n<p>WHILE YOU\u2019RE WAITING FOR YOUR WAFFLES TO BE AS TOASTY AS YOUR CHOICE ASS RUN OUTSIDE AND SMASH A CAR OR SOMETHING<\/p>\n<p>BY THE TIME YOU WASH THE BLOOD OFF YOUR HANDS THOSE DELICIOUS LITTLE SYRUP DISKS SHOULD BE READY FOR ACTION<\/p>\n<p>TOSS THOSE FUCKERS ON A PLATE AND PILE THE CREAMY GOODNESS ON ONE OF THEM<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"image\" src=\"https:\/\/66.media.tumblr.com\/831d01141dde2294dd6a55ceb2a59299\/tumblr_inline_mh5arr7Kjo1qljnk7.jpg\" \/><\/p>\n<p>COVER UP THAT SHIT WITH YOUR OTHER WAFFLE AND WHIP OUT THAT BUTTERFLY BLADE YOU KEEP ON YOUR PERSON AT ALL TIMES BECAUSE THE THUG LIFE CHOSE YOU<\/p>\n<p>STAB THE BASTARD REPEATEDLY UNTIL IT\u2019S PERFECTLY SPLIT DOWN THE MIDDLE BECAUSE YOU\u2019RE A CLASSY MOTHERFUCKER<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"image\" src=\"https:\/\/66.media.tumblr.com\/e1cac4bf3fdd1a3b9c5be7ef4a1001f1\/tumblr_inline_mh5awxRBfo1qljnk7.jpg\" \/>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>NOW FOR YOU SICK FUCKS THAT THINK YOU CAN HANDLE MORE TOPPINGS YOU\u2019RE GOING TO DO THE SAME SHIT THAT I JUST FUCKING TOLD YOU TO DO BUT BEFORE YOU PILE ON YOUR ICE CREAM YOU WANT TO LATHER YOUR PEANUT BUTTER\/ CHOCOLATE SYRUP\/ WHATEVER YOU CAN FIND ONTO THE WAFFLE<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"image\" src=\"https:\/\/66.media.tumblr.com\/33815033dd539a037d763f979d5909d3\/tumblr_inline_mh5b3jao9w1qljnk7.jpg\" \/><\/p>\n<p>THEN DUMP OTHER TASTY SHIT ON THERE AS YOU SEE FIT<\/p>\n<p>YOU GET TO FIGURE OUT THAT PART I\u2019M NOT GOING TO HOLD YOUR HAND THROUGH THIS WHOLE PROCESS LITTLE SHITLET<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"image\" src=\"https:\/\/66.media.tumblr.com\/234a797c5d4f43bd326499a8a12fd5bf\/tumblr_inline_mh5b9aqKf91qljnk7.jpg\" \/><\/p>\n<p>AND AFTER THAT JUST GO BACK UP AND READ THE PANSY INSTRUCTIONS BECAUSE THEY\u2019RE THE SAME THING FROM HERE OUT<\/p>\n<p>CONGRATULATIONS YOU JUST MADE A MOTHERFUCKING ICE CREAM SANDWICH AND YOUR PRIZE IS YOU GET TO GO DEVOUR IT LIKE IT\u2019S THE BEST THING YOU\u2019VE TASTED SINCE YOUR MOTHER\u2019S BREAST MILK BECAUSE IT DAMN SURE IS<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"image\" src=\"https:\/\/66.media.tumblr.com\/206d449b6e89d906d36330dd30f285ec\/tumblr_inline_mh5bed2qAJ1qljnk7.jpg\" \/>\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>I love people who can speak my language in recipes<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>I am laughing so hard inside i cant even express it in some overused lmfao or lol. HAHAHAHAHAH<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>YES ITS BACK OMG THIS IS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE TUMBLR POST EVER<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>I can totally make this healthy, too. Banana ice cream with dark chocolate chips, whole grain protein waffles and peanut butter. Mother fucking win.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>I had to, the commentary was too much!<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>CHALAFFLES<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>captainamerica-in-middle-earth: jessizzlez: motivationforfitness: foolishjourney: ohneooo: mjolnirismymanhood: screamingthesilence: ALRIGHT LISTEN UP MY LITTLE SHITS APPARENTLY NOBODY\u2019S HEARD OF PROPER FUCKING ICE CREAM SANDWICHES SO I\u2019M GOING TO SHOW YOU FUCKS HOW TO MAKE ONE FIRST STRUT YOUR FINE ASS OVER TO YOUR FREEZY BOX AND GRAB YOURSELF SOME OF THAT SWEET WOMAN OF JESUS AUNT JEMIMA\u2019S &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/2013\/11\/15\/captainamerica-in-middle-earth-jessizzlez\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\"><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"gallery","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[3448,900,91],"class_list":["post-12717","post","type-post","status-publish","format-gallery","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-do-want","tag-food","tag-omg","post_format-post-format-gallery","without-featured-image"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12717","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12717"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12717\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12720,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12717\/revisions\/12720"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12717"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12717"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/archive.gabapple.com\/tumblr\/gabapple\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12717"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}